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DS9 Caption Contest #23: What's Love got to do with it?

LeadHead

Director of Comedy
Premium Member
Happy Friday ladies and Gentlemen, two weeks have come to an end and so has the last contest, lets meet and greet some winners!

First, the "Forced Conformity" Award goes to:

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Kira: Look over there, a Bajoran without a brush cut. Get him to a barber immediately!

Next, the "Even in the 24th Century, they still water the drinks" Award goes to:

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Drink watering technology had grown overly complicated by the 24th Century.

Next, the "Qapla!" award goes to:

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Julian: "Worf -- aren't you going to help him?"

Worf: "Today is a good day to die."

Julian: "But you didn't die!"

Worf: "I didn't say it was my day..."


Next, the "Sisko's gonna have to hand over a lotta latinum" Award goes to:

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QUARK: Call Sisko and tell him we have good news and bad news.

ROM: Whats the good news?

QUARK: We found his luggage.

ROM: And the bad?

QUARK: We found his luggage.


Next, the "It would be best not to confuse them" Award goes to:

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O'Brian - Oops my bad, set to kill.
Bashir - Thats the third time this week....they might start to notice.
O'Brian - Nah just say she tried to kill me, that,ll cover it.


Our Photoshop award goes to:


Now, with that holiday that inspires young people to choo choo choose Ralph Wiggum on the horizon, lets take a look at relationships...

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Sisko: Wow, that's a long pre-nup. I'm not signing that!

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Keiko: So what have you been doing while I've been gone?

O'Brien: The war has been great for me, so many young ensigns wanting to get to know the "Chief's tricks." Did I just say that out loud?

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Dax: Worf!

Worf: Jadzia!

Marok: What am I chopped flarn?

Worf: Wrong franchise.

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Sarina: So then, the book takes a twist where the Vampires and the werewolves-

Bashir: (thinking) Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, this nightmare will end.

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Quark: You don't scare me. All of my girlfriends do that eventually.
 
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Sisko: "Yes, I suppose the inventory costs for an Avon representative on a station that sees as many different alien types as we do would be extraordinary. But how is that my problem?"


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Miles: "Do you mind if I call you 'my little Suzie Wong'?"
Keiko: "Not at all! Do you mind if I continually remind you of how much I wish you looked like William Holden?"


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Girl: "Well, I can't find anything in the historical databases about any Bajoran custom for doing that on a first date! I think you're trying to scam me!"


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Martok: "Put that down, Worf! You don't know where that's been!"


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Quark: "I assume this means no oomox tonight?"
 
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SISKO: Robau: Bald and Bad Ass? Thanks, but I didnt get you anything,

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KEIKO: Okay...no more cabbage for you.

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GIRL: I'm changing my Facebook status to "In a relationship"....

BASHIR: Sure...wait, what?

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MARTOK: Get a room already!

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QUARK: Your mother's ashes??? So its not an exotic spice?
 
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ODO: I found these in Ops. It seems Quark is running a spread on something called "The Super Bowl".

SISKO: I'm shocked to discover gambling outside of the Promenade!

ODO: I shocked to discover you're betting on the Packers
 
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Martok: Tonight is a good night to f-- (off Odo's sudden glare) ...forget about the war and make merry!
Worf: I am NOT a merry man... But I will be.


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Quark: Okay, okay! No dutch treat! I'll pick up the tab!
 
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Sisko: "It says you're wanted for smuggling slices of our wedding cake to the Maquis."
Kasidy: "I can explain..."


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Martok: "I envy you two. The last time my wife jumped into my arms, her forehead ridges poked my eye out."


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Quark: "That's not a gun. It's my ear wax scooper. But it IS fully loaded."
 
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Sisko: ''Here, Kassidy... This is the list of my favorite movies. But be careful out there on Cestus III. Do NOT watch the Godzilla if there are any Gorn nearby, they might think we're making fun of their god!''
 
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Elbow to the crotch. It get's them every time.

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Martok: "I almost died too. Don't I get a hug?"

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Quark: "Okay, fine. You can have the last Coors Light."
 
Hey LeadHead, thanks for the win!!

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... and here is a poem I wrote about butterflies. Don't worry, it's not nearly as long as the last eight I read to you.



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Quark: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this battery won't fit that.
 
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Sarina: (Scanning porn)"Oooh if I try this on him, maybe he try that on me?"

Bashir(half asleep) "Whaaat?"
 
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Bashir could not understand Sarina's obsession with writing spy stories that starred himself as the hero and she as his love interest/partner/handler.
 
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While Jadzia did a decent Scooby impression, Martok just couldn't take Worf seriously as Shaggy.
 
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WORF: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

DAX: Huh? My phaser is on my hip.

Worf drops Dax and runs away screaming.

DAX: I really hate it when the symbiot does that.
 
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Keiko: "Miles, about the children..."

O'Brien: "What's that? Sorry, I'm about to film another Michael Bay action movie; can't afford any distractions."
 
Thanks for the win!! :bolian:

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Yates - Who is this woman and why the hell is she sending you messages on Facebook?!?!?
Sisco - Can I help it if I am popular
Odo - Captian, this may not be the best time for jokes

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Miles - Keiko, you know I love you right?
Keiko - Yes Miles I do and I love you. Why do you ask?
Miles - It's just I was hoping you will let me pick my own clothes from now on......I really hate this jumper.
Keiko - Oh Miles how could you?!?! My mother made you that jumper.
Miles - Well that settles it...
Keiko - Settles what?
Miles - Your mother must HATE me!


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Martok - I will never understand you Worf.
Worf - What do you mean?
Martok - You have a beautiful woman in your arms and you still do not smile.
Dax - Tell me about he barely even smiles in bed!!


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Sarina - Julian, don't feel bad it happens to a lot of men....
Julian - Not all men are genetically enhanced.
Sarina - Yeah I am surprised they didn't correct the size issue when they had you enhanced.....
Julian - What size issue?!?!?

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Quark - Hey I told you I opperate a no returns policy. But under the circumstances I am prepared to give you one free spin of the Dabo wheel....
 
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Miles: "Keiko, I've never loved any other woman the way I love you."
Keiko: "Oh, really? Word gets around, you know. I heard about that torrid affair you had back in your Academy days."
Miles: "That was a guy."
 
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Odo: Captain, would you like some privacy?

Sisko: Not necessary. She put the love poem I wrote about her on Twitter.

Kassidy: Iambic pentameter? I hate Iambic Pentameter!



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Keiko: What if the war heats up and the station isn't safe anymore?

O'Brien: I'm sorry, I didn't heard anything you said besides "heats up."

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Worf: Stunning!

Jadzia: Thank you!

Worf: Not you, your phaser. It's set on stun again. I thought we agreed you'd take no prisoners.
 
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