DS9 Caption Contest 127: Miles O'Brien, Ladies' Man

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back, everyone, 'tis time for either the last contest of 2015 or the first contest of 2016! (Or..both. Depends on your point of view, eh Obi-Wan?)

The "Good Thoughts" Award:

JJ Abrams: Paint over the words. It's the only way a new Star Trek can emerge, by trampling over all the episodes that came before.
Avery Brooks, drops the paint roller and writes: He clocks JJ Abrams.

The "Holiday Spirit" Award:

BEN: The prophecy says...we must reenact the nativity scene at midnight on Christmas Day...
EZRI: Can I be the Virgin Mary?
BEN: Umm...knowing Jadzia and Curzon, I'm gonna go with Jake here.
JAKE: Hey!

The Star Wars Holiday Special Award:

Jake: So how long have you been living out here Obi Wan?
Ben: Look Jake. I really don't want to start 'role playing' Star Wars right now.
Jake: Aw come on Dad. You're Princess Ezri's only hope!

Festive Dancing Award:

Oppa Bajoran Style.

The "Consume Mas" Award:

Dax: Did we do it? Did we find the orb?
Voice from box: Come to Quark's, Quark's is fun, come right now, don't walk - run!
Sisko: DAMMIT QUARK!!

The Changeling Award:

Jake: "Dad, are you sure you know where we're going?"
Dad: "By the prophets themselves, Jake, I know where I'm going. I can see light reflecting off metal in the distance."
Jake: "Dad, those might be lense flares..."

Finally, because some things never get old....

Jake, Ben (chanting): Pie Jesu domine, dona eis requiem...
<<BONK!>>
(Repeat 1,000 times.)

Let's kick the New Year off by showing Chief O'Brien a little love!

 

[Hutchy01]

Miles: Julian, I don't want to hear whatever the bucket of piss the universe is going to dump on me is.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

O'Brien: (thinking) Maybe if I wait here long enough, staring, they'll start making out.

Rejal: Mr O'Brien, kindly remove your hand or I will have to report you to Human Resources for sexual harassment.
O'Brien: What the bloody hell for? It's only your arm?
Rejal: Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place.

Bahir: Keiko is a very lucky woman.
O'Brien: Julian! We promised never to talk about last night!

O'Brien: Bloody superglue!

 

[Triskelion]

Keiko: Now let's put him in the middle and call him and see which one he comes to. And no whiskey flask this time!
Kira: It got me knocked up, didn't it?

Miles: More cupping, less clawing and wrenching.
Rejal: That's not how Keiko told me she weighs a pouch of dubloons.
Miles: Why do you think I handle my own finances.

Bashir: You're resolution tonic chord was a little flat.
O'Brien: Please, I've been farting Danny Boy semi-professionally since before you were born. That was just a blue note.
Bashir: Are you sure? Sounded more like a brown note to me.

Keiko: Miles? They should have named you centimeters!
Miles: You're one to talk! Who ever heard of a Cake Ho who couldn't make cake!
Keiko: CAKE HO??? THAT'S NOT A THING!!!
Miles: Well it ought to be!!!
Keiko: MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CAKE HO!
Miles: AND MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE CHANGED MY NAME TO O'TOOLE!
Keiko: MILES O'TOOLE?? HA! YOU WISH!
Miles: YOU WISH!
Keiko: YOU BET YOUR MINSTREL BOY HAIR HELMET I DO! AND I'M NOT REFERRING TO THE ONE ON YOUR SHOULDERS!
Miles: HEY IT'S TWO CENTIMETERS OF PURE MINSTREL MAN, BABY!


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Finn]

Bashir: (OV) Bashir to O'Brien. Please report to the infirmary. It seems that parasite Jadzia got from your recent away mission together, has used your genetic material to impregnate her....

O'Brien: Bloody Hell!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Bashir and O'Brien had trouble mastering the ancient Earth custom of the high five.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Thanks for the win, smellincoffee!

Keiko: How do you know Nerys is not naturally a redhead?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Keiko: Miles, stop calling yourself Senior Chief Blue-balls, it's getting old.

Kira: <snickers>

 

[JonnyQuest037]

O'Brien: "I'm not paying any child support. Maury said that I'm NOT the father, and that's final!"

 

[Turbo]

O'Brien: "...and until you tell me which one of you reprogrammed the computer to say "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" and replicate me nothing but Blarney stones, there will be no footrubs, no backrubs, and no raktajino!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

O'Brien: Actually, gentlemen prefer blondes.

 

[tharpdevenport]

O'Brien: "Of course I'm mad! Did you honestly think I'd want to have a three-some with Kira? She's my superior officer, honey. Now, maybe if she got demoted..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

First a two part caption:

MILES: Man. It really sucks our baby got put in Kira.
KEIKO: Yeah, I feel so bad for Kira.
KIRA: It's okay guys, I'm here for you.

KEIKO: We did it Miles, she really thinks it was an accident. Now I don't have to suffer through the worst part of the pregnancy!
MILES: Let's use Dax for the third one.

----

CARDASSIAN: Yes, I'm quite aware you're married. It's customary in Cardassian culture for a new friendship across cultures to be celebrated with a three way.

JULIAN: What was that Miles? I didn't hear you. It's almost like you said...I was an okay guy.
O'BRIEN: Yeah, that'll be the day.

 

[Hutchy01]

O'Brien: "...and until you tell me which one of you reprogrammed the computer to say "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" and replicate me nothing but Blarney stones, there will be no footrubs, no backrubs, and no raktajino!"

Kira and Keiko: It was Julian!

 

[Triskelion]

Miles: A sushi, hasperat and bologna sandwich? That sounds awful, why would you offer me that? I'll just grab an English muffin on my way to work.
Kira: Wait, did he mean...?
Keiko: Trust me, he means an actual English muffin.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Scientist: Our pulses quicken. We are destined.
O'Brien: Dunno about you, lady, but I've had three cups of Brazilian double-strong.

 

[Leviathan]

Rejal: Quit calling me Lochley.

 

[Smellincoffee]

26 hour warning!

 

[LeadHead]

Keiko: Are you still here? Girl time!

O'Brien: Look, I'm trying to not paint all of your species with the same brush, but the tattoo on your wrist that says "Humans are inferior" doesn't help matters.

Bashir: So anyway, now that Leeta and I have broken up, I've been on the prowl. Also now that I can be up front about being genetically enhanced-

O'Brien: Stop!

Sisko: (thinking) And tomorrow they'll be back to bad mouthing each other behind the others back. Ah, marriage.

 

[Smellincoffee]

I just saw the notice that the forums will be closed tomorrow, soo....I'm going to wait until the switch is made. I'd hate to post a new contest just for a transition glitch to gobble it up!