DS9 Caption Contest 126: We Three Kings of DS9 Are

[Smellincoffee]

Weeelcome back, folks, 'tis time for fresh captions!

The "This Author Like, Totally Gets Me" Award:

DAX: Benny Russell?
SISKO: For some reason his work speaks to me.

The "Better Ways of Torturing Worf" Award:

Kira: Why are we hacking into Worf's music library again?
Dax: So we can see the look on his face when his Klingon operas become Katy Perry songs.

The "No, Jake":

Nog: Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire! We've only got ten more seconds!!
Jake: Do you think I'd look good with a mustache?

A collaborative effort:

Ríu ríu, chíu[/B] and The Ghost of Christmas 80s]

Sisko: If the ship designers had raised the view screen another two feet I wouldn't have to stand up to see over the helm.

Bashir: Didn't *you* design the Defiant?
Sisko: Quiet, you!

Covering the Assets:

Kira: Point that ear cam at my ass and I'll rip the ear lobes right off of your head.

Com: Ops to Kira, did you forget to pay the electric bill again?
Kira: My bad - I guess now we're even for the Cardassian Occupation.
Com: Ok, but you can't say that every time you do something wrong.

The Changeling Award:

SISKO: Why aren't we gaining on that piece of junk?
BASHIER: She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. It's captain made a lot of special modifications himself. It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.
SISKO: That makes no sense whatsoever

Nog: Can you hand me the quantum flux regulator?
Jake: Is that the silver tube thingy or the pointy blue doohickey?
Nog: Why are you even here?

And now, this week's set, inspired by the trek of the Magi:

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I hate to pit nicks (or nit picks) here, but..about the 'collaborative effort', judging by the quote attributes, is one of my captions supposed to be in there? 'Cause I'm not seeing it.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

JJ Abrams: Paint over the words. It's the only way a new Star Trek can emerge, by trampling over all the episodes that came before.
Avery Brooks, drops the paint roller and writes: He clocks JJ Abrams.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JAKE: When you said you wanted to take our holo-vacation in California, I assumed you meant present day California.
BEN: Pre-20th century California. Isn't it beautiful?

BEN: The prophecy says...we must reenact the nativity scene at midnight on Christmas Day...
EZRI: Can I be the Virgin Mary?
BEN: Umm...knowing Jadzia and Curzon, I'm gonna go with Jake here.
JAKE: Hey!

JAKE: Five Spartan Races and I haven't gotten a single good fire jump pic. This time, FOR SURE.

PATIENT: No, it's REAL! All of Star Trek really happened, it's the real future! Then they came back in time and told the writers what to write!
DOCTOR: *sigh* We've got another one.

JAKE: We found it! A long long time ago, this planet was called Tatooine, and there were terrible wars among the surrounding stars!
BEN: Look! Somebody is still shooting his way out of the remains of this sarlac pit!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JAKE: Ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark?

DAX: No. Why?

 

[Smellincoffee]

I hate to pit nicks (or nit picks) here, but..about the 'collaborative effort', judging by the quote attributes, is one of my captions supposed to be in there? 'Cause I'm not seeing it.

One person did the "Whoever designed this bridge", and the other added "Didn't YOU design this bridge?".

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ But my name showed up in it, and I didn't do either of those

 

[Finn]

Ben: I should have known...Quark...Victorian Las Vegas??

Jake: I think I just saw a cowboy that looks like Data..

 

[Smellincoffee]

Err...so you didn't. My apologies to joededman, who contributed the first part of that caption contest!

 

[Finn]

Basement Trekkie: *throws phaser remote at tv* Not that one! Just the Ferengi ones!....and TATV

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Jake: Dad, can we go back to DS9 now? It's really hot out here and I could use a drink...

Sisko: No, we're not leaving until we find that Star Wars canyon! It's around here somewhere!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Jake: "Dad, are you sure you know where we're going?"

Dad: "By the prophets themselves, Jake, I know where I'm going. I can see light reflecting off metal in the distance."

Jake: "Dad, those might be lense flares..."

 

[Avro Arrow]

Thanks for the wins, Smellincoffee!

Dax: You just *had* to ask "what does a prophet need with a starship"!

 

[Hutchy01]

Jake: Are those the Droids we're looking for?

 

[tharpdevenport]

"We have found the Orb of J.J.!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kira: There, you see? There are no more Orbs out here. We have them all, back on Bajor. And if I lie, may the Prophets strike me dead!

<<<ZAP!!>>>

Sisko: ... Awkward.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Joseph Sisko: Slow down, Jake. I'm an old man and I can barely keep up.
Jake Sisko: But Grandpa, we need to catch up to Ezri. Do you think she likes writers?
Benjamin Sisko: What a time to be stuck in a desert without a cold shower in sight: when Jake's hormones are raging!

 

[joededman]

Thank you for the award and a half!

Jake: So how long have you been living out here Obi Wan?
Ben: Look Jake. I really don't want to start 'role playing' Star Wars right now.
Jake: Aw come on Dad. You're Princess Ezri's only hope!

Jake: Womp rats! Womp rats!
Ben: They're too small to be womp rats, even if this was Tatooine.
Jake: Baby womp rats! Baby womp rats!

Ezri: So this is where all the water on the station comes from?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Oppa Bajoran Style.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: Worm sign! everyone stay on the rocks!

JAKE: Frak!