DS9 Caption Contest 120: The Amazon Squad

[Smellincoffee]

In recognition of the first women to survive the US Army's Ranger camp, this week we'll look at DS9's ladies of war. But first, last week's winners!

Bashir, five hours after he asked Ezri to tell stories about Audred Dax.

Bareil: Give me all your latinum or I'll shoot!
(pause)
I swear I will! Don't make me use this!
(pause)
...what? Staple gun? Oh, Prophets dammit, I shouldn't have hit all those mugs of synthale last night.

Here's Johnny!

DUKAT: Visine! Dammit Bashir! Get me Visine!

Kira doesn't have bad hair days. GOT IT?!

Finally, and yet first:

​

Congrats to the winners, and now, as Mr. Spock would say, THE WOMEN!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRA: First Officer's Log: While it's called an "Intermix Chamber", you can't actually mix matter and anti-matter by hand.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Stop. Phasertime!

 

[Triskelion]

Kira: You all saw it! He was going for a gun!
O'Brien: Major, that's a tree.

Ezri: I don't care, if I see those Rebel scum, I'm shooting at their legs under the door....

Dax: Kahless this! Kahless that! You're such a bat'leth beater, Worf! Even Kahless took a day off once a week!

Helmsman: Which button initiates the launch sequence for the motorboat, I mean runabout?

Captain's log, supplemental: Never assume a genetically-enhanced genius won't wrap Hasperat in aluminum foil and put it in the microwave.


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[tharpdevenport]

Thank for picking mine. You chose ..... wisely. ;-)

Terry Ferrall: "LOL, listen here, what ever you name is -- I'm an actress, I know what I'm doing. Thats why youll be who knows the fuck where and I'll still be here next season."

 

[hux]

O'Brien: No, Kira! He's the last fashion designer alive, don't kill him or well be stuck wearing crap like this forever.

Kira: There is no fashion in the future. Die!

Ezri: pew pew.

Sisko: Ezri, stop that.

Ezri: Fine. Whatever.

Dax: I fucking hate Rhino's !!

Dax: Press this if you want me to come to your quarters. Just saying.

Kira: How can we help you admiral, we're very busy.

Admiral: Well you can start by closing your legs.

 

[Finn]

Jadzia: You'd like it if I did a Riker, wouldn't you?

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: Wait, you can actually aim these bloody things?

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Kira: All that cutting, and my hair still isn't short enough!

Dax: Starfleet appoints me commanding officer of the Defiant, and all Worf can talk about is his awkward son. I'd call that callous ... and a bit jealous.

 

[T'Girl]

Helmsman: Which button initiates the launch sequence for the motorboat, I mean runabout?

Helmsman (looking sideways at Jadzia's breasts): ** Yeah hee hee ... motorboating **

 

[JirinPanthosa]

O'BRIEN: Kira, don't you think we should try to find cover?
KIRA: I never see you Starfleet types doing it.
O'BRIEN: Fair enough.

---

Holodeck Dax-off, round 1! Jadzia versus Ezri. FIGHT!

JADZIA: The Klingon Bat'leth is the most elegant weapon!

EZRI: *shoots*

And Ezri moves on to the semifinals to face the winner of Curzon/Joran!

---

DAX: You know if Q wasn't entertained by humanity, we wouldn't have met the Borg, we wouldn't have designed this ship, and the Dominion would have destroyed us all?
BLUESHIRT: What's your point?
DAX: My point is, you're dangerously boring. We're giving Nog your job.

KIRA: Mental note. If your changeling boyfriend says he can be fire, take his word for it.

 

[Triskelion]

Captain's log, supplemental: Well it took a phaser on heavy stun and rerouting power distribution through the artificial grav plating, the structural integrity field, and half a dozen blown relays, but I finally got my hair to go the way I wanted.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kira: "Wait, I get to rip my shirt like Kirk, but I don't get to have the girl like Kirk?"

Director (just off screen): "Ah, that would be the man. And no."

Kira: "Yeah, man. That's what I meant....."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kira: "Wait, I get to rip my shirt like Kirk, but I don't get to have the girl like Kirk?"
Director (just off screen): "Ah, that would be the man. And no."
Kira: "Yeah, man. That's what I meant....."

This was the first shot I decided on, it made me want to do a "Kirk vs Kira" kind of theme. One can only borrow so much from Trials and Tribble-ations, though!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kira: Well, that's the last time I try to swipe some of T'Bonz's ale.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRA: General announcement to all crewmembers, do not pet the Cardassian voles.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Ezri: I know what you're thinking. Did she fire six shots, or did she fire fi-
Sisko: Really, old man?

 

[joededman]

Kira thinking: I hope Dax was right about this macramé battle vest.

Ezri: Won't the rest of the gang be surprised by this high powered laser that I brought in for this silly game of laser tag!

Kira: Best cup of coffee every. I'm just sorry I spilled some.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Jadzia, in the Dax mind: Calm down, Ezri. Firm grip, keep your body stable, and finger off the trigger until you get the order.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:I know what I'm doing. I fired a phaser rifle in basic.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind:You wouldn't know it from your nerves.
Curzon, in the Dax mind: She's a little girl, a pretty little girl.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind:Can you stop hitting on your hosts? It's ... creepy.
Torias, in the Dax mind:Life's too short, Jadzia, to worry about these social conventions.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:Stop it, all of you. I need to concentrate.
Joran, in the Dax mind:That's right. Focus. Think everything through. How to kill a man. How you will watch his life drain from his eyes.
Ezri, in the Dax mind: I'm an officer, not a murderer.
Joran,in the Dax mind: Little difference.
Tobin, in the Dax mind: It would be better if you just run away.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:I have a duty.
Torias, in the Dax mind:And you could be a hero.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:You aren't helping
Bashir: Is something wrong, Ezri?
Ezri, shouting out loud: Shut up, Torias. It's your fault I can't be with Lenara. I mean Jadzia. I mean .... uh!
Bashir: What?
Joran, in the Dax mind:Smooth move.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind: That reminds me. I need you to sneak into Worf's quarters and destroy the letters I wrote to Lenara Kahn that I never sent.
Curzon, in the Dax mind:Or you could send them. I wouldn't mind seeing what happens.
Audrid, in the Dax mind:You are a dirty old man. You know that Curzon tried to bed me at his zhiantara?
Curzon, in the Dax mind: It isn't too late.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Soldier: The Jem'hadar are a kilometer away.
Joran, in the Dax mind: When the fighting starts, no one will know who shoots whom. Just turn your phaser ...
Bashir: How about we go on a date when we get back to the station?
Joran, in the Dax mind:Maybe you could start with the doctor?
Ezri: Julian, now is not a good time.