DS9 Caption Contest 104: Deck the Corridors!

[Rat Boy]

O'Brien: "How about 'The Rains of Castmere' next?"

Bashir: "You son of a bitch!"

*Basher decks O'Brien*

Sisko: "Mom, I'm forty years old. Isn't this...beneath me?"

Rebecca: "WASH THOSE SOCKS!"

Dr. Mora: "I'd hate to break it to you, kid, but that's not how you play 'Got Your Nose.'"

Ghemor: "Last time I saw a Cardassian and a Bajoran hugging, it was Dukat and your..."

Kira: "My what?"

Ghemor: "Nothing! Nothing! Forget I said anything."

Hypnotic washing machines, OF THE FUTURE!

Sisko: "Seriously? Of all the..."

O'Brien: "What?"

Sisko: "Merlot?!"

Sadly, Peetyr, Paol, M'ry, and Odo didn't catch on.

 

[Nerys Myk]

OLD BAJORAN: I thought you were supposed to get these street musicians off the promenade!?

ODO: But I love this song!

 

[Hutchy01]

Quark: You do know I'm not a gynaecologist!

 

[AgentCoop]

Sadly, Peetyr, Paol, M'ry, and Odo didn't catch on.

Odo (singing): "If I had a phaser...I'd phaser in the morning...I'd phaser in the evening...all over this quadrant..."

 

[f14peter]

MARTOK (nodding toward loaf of bread): "... when you're done preparing the gruel, use your Bat'telh to viciously decapitate your victim ... with the speed of Kahless, take your D'k tahg and mercilessly carve the guts out of the pitiful remains, piling the pieces alongside the now empty carcass ..."

BASHIR: "Ugh"

MARTOK: "... then slop several handfuls of the smelly gruel into the hapless remains. The pieces of gut are used to scoop out delicious mouthfuls. When the corpse is empty, you can gloriously consume that too ..."

O'BRIEN: "Commander Sisko, are we going to have to eat this?!?!?!?"

SISKO: "I'm telling you guys, Martok makes the best spinach dip in a bread bowl this side of the wormhole"

MARTOK: "... and that, my comrades is truly a warrior's hors d'oeuvres, an appetizer to sing about!"

 

[Nebusj]

Bashir: ``Now. Now I'm drunk enough to think getting hold of the matchless lighter is a good idea. Give it over.''
O'Brien: ``You're lucky I've been drunk enough to think giving it to you is a good idea for twenty minutes now.''

Kira: ``You ... you wore the Velcro jacket again, didn't you?''

Quark: ``I had always assumed the Wormhole was bigger.''

O'Brien: ``Well, I'm having the roast Papa Smurf's Hat Souffle, and Julien is enjoying a sour-cream-and-chives baked football. Want in?''
Quark: ``We have a lovely octuple-size Egg McMuffin, already sliced in half.''

Odo: ``Johnny, will you please let us know who's the next lucky contestant on Bajoran Name That Tune?''

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: No, I've never eaten Narn before.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Prophet: "The Sisko forgot to take out the trash."

Sisko: "Man you guys are geting really annoying."

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

ODO: Look at him! He's perfect! I wanna to teach him how to be a shapeshifter! How to feel the several forms! How to be happy even alone!

MORA: I'm gonna study him! Measure him! I'm gonna keep it! I'm gonna hug it and i'm gonna call him Ode!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: Don't make me tell Keiko about this, chief.
O'Brien, sighing: Quark, send this back and bring me a salad.
Sisko: Ahem.
O'Brien: A small salad.

Together: Take one down, pass it around, ZERO BOTTLES OF ALE ON THE WALL!
Bashir:...what now, Miles?
O'Brien: We openauther bottle and sing it again. With FEELING this time.
(Pop! Swig, swig AHHHH!)
Together: Ninety-nine bottles of ale on the wall, --

 

[Finn]

Ghemor: By the way, I "accidentally" kicked Dukat in the gonads at Central Command before I left Cardassia. He won't be walking normally for a while. Happy Birthday, Nerys!

 

[Rat Boy]

O'Brien: "But, but...it's all of the One Strip Value Menu..."

Quark: "For now. The way you two hew-mons eat, I might have to reconsider things."

 

[Hutchy01]

Ghemor: By the way, I "accidentally" kicked Dukat in the gonads at Central Command before I left Cardassia. He won't be walking normally for a while. Happy Birthday, Nerys!

Dukat: A kick is as good as a lick!

 

[Smellincoffee]

And what happened then...? Well...in Bajor they say
That the Constable's small heart grew three sizes that day!
And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,
And Odo found the strength of ten Founders… plus two.

Sisko: I didn't know you were religious, chief.
O'Brien: Never pass up an opportunity to take a day off of work and feast, captain.

Quark: Moogie? YOU'RE Santa?!

Odo: "For unto us a child is given.."
Dr. Mora: Unless they've cast some child to play your mini-me, I wouldn't get your hopes too high, Odo.

Sarah: There is no use in pouting.
Sisko: BUT I ALWAYS PUT THE STAR ON TOP!

O'Brien: Julian, maybe you can shed light on something. Who the HELL is good king Wenceslas?

 

[bolak]

PROPHET: Benjamin! You pervert! Are you hiding a webcam in the sauna AGAIN?
SISKO: Sorry Mom
PROPHET: So predictably linear.

O'BRIEN: Yes Captain, I am well aware that haggis isn't an Irish dish. But it's a bloody sight closer to home than your sodding oysters.

 

[tharpdevenport]

O'Brien: "I don't know what's wrong with it, I thinmk the food tastes fine. But commander Gordon Ramsay said it tasted like 'Sisko took a piss-o on my what ever the hell this is'..."

Quark: "And he told me to fuck off."

 

[bolak]

 

[Nerys Myk]

LUCY VAN PROPHET: You were supposed to get a *good* tree. Can't you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kira: I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!
Ghemor: You're glad to see my pumpkin pie.
Kira: Well, yes. I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOUR PIE! But you, too.

O'Brien: Me- *hic* mer - *hic*
Julian, slurring: Merrychristmas, Miles.
O'Brien: Ditto!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

 

[Smellincoffee]

24 hour warning!