DS9 Caption Contest 104: Deck the Corridors!

[Smellincoffee]

Bring out the holly, put up the tree before my spirit falls again -- fill up the stocking, I may be rushing things, but decks the halls again now -- 'tis the season! This week is a big one, dedicated to the Christmas spirit -- peace, goodwill, family and friends, divine favor, feasting, and even craven consumerism. So let hearts rejoice and let captions ring forth! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut first!

SISKO (IN RUNABOUT): "Slow down! Watch out for that pylon! Use your braking thrusters! Both hands on the helm controls! You're too close to that other shuttle! Keep an eye on your gravimetric read-out!"
KIRA (COMM-LINE): "Ops to Runabout ... Emissary, how is Jake's first driving lesson going?"

Quark: Nog, bring three dabo girls, a case of Andorian ale, and a camera to Sisko's quarters stat. Oh, and a Sharpie. Hello, early retirement!
Nog: Brrrooottthher, you tried that last year with Photoshop, remember?
Quark: Goodbye, early retirement.

O'Brien: Sorry, Tosk. I reprogrammed the replicators to give me a mug of Guinness every time I order "coffee, double sweet." Keiko doesn't suspect a thing.

Men: We are the knights who say Ni

Odo: Are you going to shoot him? Picard never shoots anybody.
Sisko: I'm not Picard. *shoot*

Doubling as the Changeling award...

Sisko: Computer, lights. Security, ready phasers.
Alien Commander: Oh, "blue light helmets are gonna look so rad!" Dammit Larry!

Okay, now! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Thank you, once again, for the win!!!

Bashir: Miles, we need a [burp] theme song, just in case we are being honored or are in a montage or something. And that song should be ...
O'Brien, muttering: Minstrely Boy! Minstrel Boy!
Bashir: ... "I'm too sexy for my shirt."
O'Brien: Julien, no, please, don't!
Bashir: And we can sing it while wearing gold speedos, like Worf owns. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, ... ."
O'Brien: I want Tosk to come back.
Bashir: ... so sexy, it hurts!"

Sarah: Your time of chores has ended. You need to do homework now.
Sisko: But when can I watch TV?
Sarah: Maybe tomorrow. Maybe yesterday. Maybe never if you don't get your homework done.
Sisko: This second adolescence in the Celestial Temple really sucks.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: What's with the soft focus? We using TOS cinematographers or something?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BASHIR: (hic) I bet you...you can cut off my hand...and I can reattach it without any help.
O'BRIEN: It's a bet. Let me get a knife.
BASHIR: Wait. Is this the kind of bet we should be making when we're drunk?

PROPHET: So basically I raped your mother.
BEN SISKO: Sounds good, just tell me what to do.

ODO: Dada...can you can Dada?
MORA: Informed consent...can you say informed consent?

KIRA: You know, out of all the Cardassians in the universe, I want to kill you the least.

QUARK: This is how your species makes love?
WOMAN: Of course. We enter the hibernation chamber and our skin bonds together and we both go into a coma. A month later, the woman wakes up pregnant.
QUARK: Shuttin' it down!

MARTOK: Humans are considered among Klingons to be weak fawning idealists. Now I realize, you are hardened warriors, who only pretend to be weak fawning idealists to feel good about yourself.
SISKO: Umm... thank you?
MARTOK: Q'APLA!

Odo and the other Founders attempt to celebrate Christmas in the rarely seen Star Trek Christmas special.

 

[Nebusj]

``The Sisko will not find the cure for his glaucoma here. Perhaps the Sisko should try a qualified eye doctor.''

``I'm so glad we don't have to fear our special effects ever looking dated or cheap or silly the way those poor souls on the Original Series do.''

 

[Hutchy01]

O'Brien: I've told you a thousand times THE POTATO JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY!

Infant (thinking): Of all the galaxy's creatures ... I met the no-style brothers

Garak (internally): Uh-oh. Turn your pelvis. (BBT FTW)

Chief: Today is a good day to pie!

P.S. to Jirin , I wasn't plagiarizing but quoting your post to get the picture without removing all the stuff from the first post

 

[Bad Thoughts]

O'Brien: Sorry, captain, we switched sides: we're on Jadzia's side now. We heard that they make candles, tell family stories, and watch Tahitian fire dancers.
Bashir: Sirella's condescening and egomaniacal, but she won't roast me over an open fire.
Sisko: The holodeck's safety protocols are on.
Quark, looking at Martok: No, they're not.
Martok: The road to Kal'Hyah is lined with burnt flesh.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

QUARK: This is how your species makes love?
WOMAN: Of course. We enter the hibernation chamber and our skin bonds together and we both go into a coma. A month later, the woman wakes up pregnant.
QUARK: Shuttin' it down!

QUARK: This is how your species makes love?
WOMAN: Of course. We enter the hibernation chamber and our skin bonds together and we both go into a coma. A month later, the woman wakes up pregnant.
QUARK: Shuttin' it down!

ODO: Quark! You've had three separate complaints this week for holosuite program plagiarism!
QUARK: It's not plagiarism! It's influence!

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Kira: You wore the sweater I gave you!
Ghemor, desperate to scratch everywhere: Yes, I did.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MARTOK: The food is for the guests.

OBRIEN: Aren't we guests?

MARTOK: Check your sigils, you're wait staff!

BASHIR: How long was Keiko going to be gone?

O'BRIEN: Three days.

BASHIR: How long have we been drinking?

O'BRIEN: Three days.

KEIKO: Miles, I'm home...

O'BRIEN: Oh, crap.

 

[Hutchy01]

Do you guys just think of the most easily turned filthy images?! (see the TNG one!)

 

[Nerys Myk]

PROMOTIONS GUY: It's the Odo lamp. The fans will love it and we'll move a million units. All we need from you, Rene is a signoff on the likeness.

AUBERJONOIS: Sounds great! Where do I sign?!

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

Thanks for the win!

O'BRIAN: How long have we being drinking?
BASHIR: About 4 hours i think.
O'BRIAN: WOW! Isn't that to much?
BASHIR: Ho, not at all! I haven't even started seeing Dax in her bikini yet.
O'BRIAN: Haa... I see... So... Get us ANOTHER GLASS!

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

PARAMONUT PICTURES PRESENTS:
STAR TREK - DEEP SPACE NINE - INTO BLURRINESS

 

[T'Girl]

Production Assistant: "The cameraman wants you to stop rubbing vaseline on the camera lens."

Cameraman (os): "We all get older Avery."

Avery Brooks: "Noooooo !!!"

Kira: "I don't appreciate the low angle including your penis bulge."

Quark (laughs): "You don't like my bulge?"

Kira: "I wasn't referring to your bulge Quark."

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

QUARK: Wait! There is somebody there!
WOMAN: Who?
QUARK: I can't see! Let me get closer and.... MORN!
MORN: ..........
QUARK: Morn! Get out of there!
MORN: ......
QUARK: Why do i bother.....

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

O'BRIAN: You sure it's safe to eat those things?
SISKO: The general says so.
O'BRIAN: But... You sure?
MARTOK: Off course it is! It is FOOD FOR A WARRIOR! IT WILL GO DOWN YOUR THROATS AS FIRE ON THE CAVES OF KHALES! Q'PLÁ!!
BASHIR: I'M NOT EATING THIS!

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

Happy shape day to you! Happy shape day to you!
Happy shape day, happy shaaaape day! Happy SHAPE DAY TO YOUUUU!

 

[Inactive-Shapeshifter]

Dukat has been playing with Photoshop again...

 

[Nerys Myk]

QUARK: Come on Odo, I know it's you.