I am the one driving so that's not really an option.
Drinking with Coworkers
- Thread starter MetalPants
- Start date
I am the one driving so that's not really an option.
I don't know - it sounds a bit iffy to me. Friend-stuff - and anything other than a quick drink after work probably qualifies as "friend-stuff," and dancing definitely counts as "friend-stuff" - should be reserved for friends. Real friends, not people who you are fairly friendly with. Once a coworker becomes a real friend, which certainly does happen, that's another story, but so long as your primary relationship is work related, you really should confine your activities and conversation to work-stuff.
There's nothing at all wrong with differentiating between friends and coworkers. Both are good things to have, after all, and classifying someone as one or the other doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a smart person is what it does. So do that, and do friend stuff with your friends.
There's nothing at all wrong with differentiating between friends and coworkers. Both are good things to have, after all, and classifying someone as one or the other doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a smart person is what it does. So do that, and do friend stuff with your friends.
I'm curious - how do non-drinkers deal with co-workers who regularly go out drinking?
My colleagues go out once a week, and I've always felt a bit self-conscious about not being part of it. On the other hand, I'd also feel a bit weird about being there with everyone drinking but me.
My colleagues go out once a week, and I've always felt a bit self-conscious about not being part of it. On the other hand, I'd also feel a bit weird about being there with everyone drinking but me.
I have an unusual interpersonal dynamic with a couple of people I work with - for starters, my boss has worked for me on various conventions for three or four times as long as I've been with the company, and we both knew the other developer on our Web team socially through fandom before he started working with us. So yes, I've gone drinking with co-workers, but it's fairly easy for us to avoid talking about work when we're out - mostly because we're talking about convention stuff or science fiction in general. This is also the only job I've ever had where I get a goodnight hug from my boss every day. 
I did go out drinking with a co-worker at a previous job once, several years ago. We'd already been drinking before we went out, because it was the evening of our office Christmas party. I'm not sure whether that was a smart move or not, because after the seventh drink or so, he said, "It's too bad I have a girlfriend. I'd like to take you home with me." (And no, we never did go there, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't occasionally thought about him.
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I did go out drinking with a co-worker at a previous job once, several years ago. We'd already been drinking before we went out, because it was the evening of our office Christmas party. I'm not sure whether that was a smart move or not, because after the seventh drink or so, he said, "It's too bad I have a girlfriend. I'd like to take you home with me." (And no, we never did go there, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't occasionally thought about him.
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This situation arose as I was talking about my plans in the breakroom at work. A girl (that's married) heard that I was going out and asked if I wanted company. As I really don't want to go drinking alone again, I said yes and agreed to take her and her husband along. Next thing I know she had also invited a soon to be divorced lady to go along.
So yes I know what you are saying about doing friend stuff with friends and keeping work separate, and 99.99999% of the time I do. This little outing planned for tonight just kind of happened.
A couple of my coworkers take the job home with them; I however leave it at work. When I walk through the front door I have a massive brain dump for work crap.
I am friends with some people from work, but we all work in different parts of the same massive department that we catch up sometimes and use it to vent a bit. Then we go and have fun.
My company usually takes everyone out for drinks a few times during the year, so I go to those, but I make sure that any work discussions are kept positive. In fact, during my interview for my job the day ended with everyone going for drinks and I did get pretty drink. However, I am a pretty pleasant drunk and engaged everyone in fun conversation.
While having your personal life separate from work is important, schmoozing is still important.
My company usually takes everyone out for drinks a few times during the year, so I go to those, but I make sure that any work discussions are kept positive. In fact, during my interview for my job the day ended with everyone going for drinks and I did get pretty drink. However, I am a pretty pleasant drunk and engaged everyone in fun conversation.
While having your personal life separate from work is important, schmoozing is still important.
I'm not really a drinker, either. If I go out with people who are drinking, though, I will drink with them unless I'm the DD.
I had a boss who was kosher and there were times when the CEO and some others would go out to dinner together, and she'd go with them out of courtesy, but she couldn't eat anything because they always went to places that weren't kosher at all. I imagine being a teetotaler would be a similar experience, when going out with a bunch of drinkers. Except maybe that they'd be too drunk to notice you're not participating.
Back when I was a landscaper, though not often, we'd meet up at a pub from time to time. I even shared a joint with the owner's son, and my foreman, and a few others on occasion. Actually it was the owner's son rolling 'em. He was a good kid, worked his ass off alongside us.
Nowadays, it's too much of a mixed bag. There's a few I'd socialize with, but others I'd rather bludgeon with a baseball bat while whistling a peppy tune.
Nowadays, it's too much of a mixed bag. There's a few I'd socialize with, but others I'd rather bludgeon with a baseball bat while whistling a peppy tune.
When i was working at Disneyland, during the off-season, when we were off at 11 pm, most of the stock crew would go out to TGI Friday's since it was close by for some drinks. It was fun.
There's always going to be a work dynamic going on with it. It may not be obvious but you may find, after a couple of drinks, peoples true feelings for their co-workers will come out, subtly hopefully
There are still comments at work from our works 'Christmas do' 2 months ago which are brought up. *looks innocent*
My advice 'stay sober' (which you will be as des. driver), be generous and attentive, and try and get as much gossip as you can from them whilst they're trolleyed ~ you can use it later!
My concerns were for nought; everyone canceled on me.
Unless they're total assholes, I doubt anyone would care if you came out and just drank juice or soda all night. If you think you might want to go, just go.
I don't drink but all my co-workers do, and some of them are a little younger than me and still like to party so they drink quite a bit. If we are out at a restaurant or bar, I will order a non-alcoholic something fruity, or just drink a water. They sometimes assume I am not drinking because I can't afford it or something, so they will offer to buy me drinks. I just say no thanks, simple as that. Eventually they stop asking, though it can be rather annoying after a while.
If we are at someone's house, I find a non-see-through cup and just have some water in it. If anyone tries to offer me a drink I hold up my cup and say I've got some already. I don't tell them it's water of course, and they seem satisfied and move on to pushing drinks on someone else.
I need to find some friends who don't drink. It seems like those who do drink don't feel comfortable unless everyone in the room is drinking, because it limits their ability to be goofy and ridiculous and get away with no one remembering it the next day.
You sure about that? Or are they just all going without you.
/cue Twilight Zone music.
Sorry to hear they canceled on you.
No Work Related Discussions- this is a fun night out AWAY from work.
When I was a business owner, I always told them such rules before they committed to going out. (I also paid for every thing EXCEPT alcohol... if they wanted to drink, they paid to do so. I normally rented a van and driver, so that no one would drive drunk. I hate drunk drivers.)
If you are the one in charge of the group [re: above part I highlighted] then set the ground rules up front, including:
No Work Related Discussions- this is a fun night out AWAY from work.
When I was a business owner, I always told them such rules before they committed to going out. (I also paid for every thing EXCEPT alcohol... if they wanted to drink, they paid to do so. I normally rented a van and driver, so that no one would drive drunk. I hate drunk drivers.)
If they did, no skin off my nose. I still went out and had a good time.
^ Ah, well, then no harm done. I really think it's best. The way you described it almost sounded like a set-up date, and...no. Just a bad idea, and on so many levels, too. You really were put in kind of an awkward position, or so it seems to me. If it seemed so to you, you might want to be a little more circumspect about discussing your social plans at work. I'm sure they meant well, but there really is nothing wrong with keeping your work life and personal life separate, although a lot of people seem to have a great deal of difficulty in realizing that.
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