Does anybody else have no clue what's going on?

[GilmourD]

OK... Not a troll thread here... LOL

I'm just thinking... I can't be the only one who really has no definite clue of what's going on with the new movie. We've gotten so many different reports that are contradictory. On top of that, some of the theories are being touted about as if they're fact. People are getting all freaked out. However, when I put everything together in my head, I really don't know what's going on in this movie. There's the time travel aspect and things that may or may not be canon. There's a lot of things that could change mid-movie due to time travel inconsistencies.

So... Am I the only one thinking that a lot of what's being said on these forums will end up being dead wrong when the movie is finally released?

 

[The Wormhole]

I know exactly what's going on. Commander Nero and his bad of time travelling Romulans from the 24th century acquire a Space Octopus(!) and travel back to the 23rd century. Once there they destroy horrible looking single nacelled USS Kelvin with its erroneous registry of NCC-0514, comanded by the supposedly "badass" Captain Robau.

After this rebellious teenager James Kirk gets into a barfight while Uhura drinks kanar(huh?) and then somehow gets assigned to the Enterprise, under command of Captain Pike. Eventually the TOS gang join forces and team up with an elderley Spock also from the 24th century for a final showdown against Nero, his time-travelling Romulan posse and their Space Octopus(!) during which Sulu grabs a sword and fences.

 

[SalvorHardin]

So... Am I the only one thinking that a lot of what's being said on these forums will end up being dead wrong when the movie is finally released?

No you are not the only one.
That's why I pay almost no attention to fan speculation about what the plot will be and how all the bits and pieces we know fit together.

Though now after reading W0rmh0le's post i feel he's 100% right, is the first to have unveiled the mystery and put all the pieces together.

 

[Oso Blanco]

@The Wormhole:

Your avatar just made my day ...

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I never have any idea what's going on.

I start reading a topic about the new Enterprise and wind up looking at avatars of cyborg dog penises.

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

I know exactly what's going on. Commander Nero and his bad of time travelling Romulans from the 24th century acquire a Space Octopus(!) and travel back to the 23rd century. Once there they destroy horrible looking single nacelled USS Kelvin with its erroneous registry of NCC-0514, comanded by the supposedly "badass" Captain Robau.

After this rebellious teenager James Kirk gets into a barfight while Uhura drinks kanar(huh?) and then somehow gets assigned to the Enterprise, under command of Captain Pike. Eventually the TOS gang join forces and team up with an elderley Spock also from the 24th century for a final showdown against Nero, his time-travelling Romulan posse and their Space Octopus(!) during which Sulu grabs a sword and fences.

OK, how about these plot synospes:

A device that creates life on lifeless worlds has been stolen by a 20th-century-born genetically engineered “superman” from India (portrayed by a Mexican actor). This “superman” just happened to be the same one Kirk brought out of suspended animation some years prior -- oh, and Chekov just happened to be part of the Federation ship assigned to help the scientist who created this device.

It also just so happens that the creators of this device are Kirk’s old girlfriend along with her son -- who also just happens to be Kirk’s illegitimate son. Kirk finds out the device may fallen into the wrong hands, so he takes a ship full of cadets(!) along with Starfleet instructors to help save the day -- oh, and that ship happens to be the Enterprise commanded by none other than Captain Spock, with Scotty still hanging out in Engineering, and Uhura at…oh well, you get it…

Battles ensue, blah blah blah, Kirk disables the genetically-enhanced guy’s ship, the Indian/Mexican tries to blow up Kirk and crew by activating the device, but the Enterprise gets away in time…but not before Spock sacrifices his own life to save all of the others -- and not before he mind-melds with McCoy (foreshadowing!).

The exploding device built by Girlfriend/Scientist and Illegitimate Son/Scientist actually does what it was supposed to and creates life on the previously almost-dead planetoid below...

...and then they decide to shoot Spock’s dead body onto the experimental planet in a Photon Torpedo.

The End


...AND...

The Borg send one single cube toward Earth, where a battle ensues between the Borg and some Federation Ships, including the Picard’s Enterprise and coincidentally Worf’s Defiant (thankfully the Galaxy is a small enough place that the same 7 people keep running into each other). They blow up the cube, but not before it launches a ship of another geometric shape -- this time a sphere -- which disappears into a temporal vortex.

That sphere must have done something in the past, because the Earth suddenly became a Borg planet (although the Enterprise and her crew isn’t affected), so Picard orders the Enterprise into the same temporal vortex created by the sphere. When they get to the other side, they find the sphere and blow it up.

Our heroes discover they are in the year 2063, and discover they must protect the person who made the first warp flight by humans, so they go to Montana where they find there Zefram Cochrane, who is a cynical and bitter old drunkard -- just like we remember him from the TOS Episode 'Metamorphosis'…
…oh…wait…scratch that last part...

A few Borg stowaways from the exploding sphere take over the Enterprise. Picard and crew fight the Borg and the Borg Queen (whaaa?? Borg Queen??) who for some strange reason was on the original sphere, and has now set up shop in the Enterprise.

Back on Earth, Troi gets drunk and Cochrane gets more drunk while listening to Steppenwolf and Roy Orbison.

Back in space Picard shoots some Borg with a 'Tommy' gun while wearing a white tuxedo.

Back on Earth, Reginald Barclay is in a fanwank scene. Cochrane finally launches the warp ship (with Geordi and Riker on board -- oh boy!!)

Back in space, more battle for control of the Enterprise, blah blah blah, our heroes foil the plans of the oxymoronical Borg Queen (who, by the way, said she was there during TNG’s 'The Best of Both Worlds', but oddly enough, Locutus/Picard never mentioned her existence…). Cochrane's flight is a success and the Vulcans decide we are a worthy species.

The question still remains (although nobody in the film asked these questions) why don’t the Borg just do this again, but this time go back in time THEN go to Earth -- or possibly send a larger invasion fleet in the first place?

*************

I like these films, but it's easy to make fun of them and pick them apart if one cares to...I just choose to try to enjoy the film rather than picking it apart. Some other people for some reason find joy in picking apart a film...possibly because they DON'T WANT to like it for some inexplicable reason.

...oh, and by the way, single-nacelled ships are indeed canon -- Ships using Robert Justman's single-nacelled designs were seen on the bridge monitors in TWoK -- so they do exist in the Star Trek on-screen Universe.

 

[Classic Fan]

I know exactly what's going on. Commander Nero and his bad of time travelling Romulans from the 24th century acquire a Space Octopus(!) and travel back to the 23rd century. Once there they destroy horrible looking single nacelled USS Kelvin with its erroneous registry of NCC-0514, comanded by the supposedly "badass" Captain Robau.

After this rebellious teenager James Kirk gets into a barfight while Uhura drinks kanar(huh?) and then somehow gets assigned to the Enterprise, under command of Captain Pike. Eventually the TOS gang join forces and team up with an elderley Spock also from the 24th century for a final showdown against Nero, his time-travelling Romulan posse and their Space Octopus(!) during which Sulu grabs a sword and fences.

So... Am I the only one thinking that a lot of what's being said on these forums will end up being dead wrong when the movie is finally released?

No you are not the only one.
That's why I pay almost no attention to fan speculation about what the plot will be and how all the bits and pieces we know fit together.

Though now after reading W0rmh0le's post i feel he's 100% right, is the first to have unveiled the mystery and put all the pieces together.

I dont either, until some legit news comes my way, im not inclined to believe anything, especially on the internet. Im with you 100%.

I know exactly what's going on. Commander Nero and his bad of time travelling Romulans from the 24th century acquire a Space Octopus(!) and travel back to the 23rd century. Once there they destroy horrible looking single nacelled USS Kelvin with its erroneous registry of NCC-0514, comanded by the supposedly "badass" Captain Robau.

After this rebellious teenager James Kirk gets into a barfight while Uhura drinks kanar(huh?) and then somehow gets assigned to the Enterprise, under command of Captain Pike. Eventually the TOS gang join forces and team up with an elderley Spock also from the 24th century for a final showdown against Nero, his time-travelling Romulan posse and their Space Octopus(!) during which Sulu grabs a sword and fences.

OK, how about these plot synospes:

A device that creates life on lifeless worlds has been stolen by a 20th-century-born genetically engineered “superman” from India (portrayed by a Mexican actor). This “superman” just happened to be the same one Kirk brought out of suspended animation some years prior -- oh, and Chekov just happened to be part of the Federation ship assigned to help the scientist who created this device.

It also just so happens that the creators of this device are Kirk’s old girlfriend along with her son -- who also just happens to be Kirk’s illegitimate son. Kirk finds out the device may fallen into the wrong hands, so he takes a ship full of cadets(!) along with Starfleet instructors to help save the day -- oh, and that ship happens to be the Enterprise commanded by none other than Captain Spock, with Scotty still hanging out in Engineering, and Uhura at…oh well, you get it…

Battles ensue, blah blah blah, Kirk disables the genetically-enhanced guy’s ship, the Indian/Mexican tries to blow up Kirk and crew by activating the device, but the Enterprise gets away in time…but not before Spock sacrifices his own life to save all of the others -- and not before he mind-melds with McCoy (foreshadowing!).

The exploding device built by Girlfriend/Scientist and Illegitimate Son/Scientist actually does what it was supposed to and creates life on the previously almost-dead planetoid below...

...and then they decide to shoot Spock’s dead body onto the experimental planet in a Photon Torpedo.

The End


...AND...

The Borg send one single cube toward Earth, where a battle ensues between the Borg and some Federation Ships, including the Picard’s Enterprise and coincidentally Worf’s Defiant (thankfully the Galaxy is a small enough place that the same 7 people keep running into each other). They blow up the cube, but not before it launches a ship of another geometric shape -- this time a sphere -- which disappears into a temporal vortex.

That sphere must have done something in the past, because the Earth suddenly became a Borg planet (although the Enterprise and her crew isn’t affected), so Picard orders the Enterprise into the same temporal vortex created by the sphere. When they get to the other side, they find the sphere and blow it up.

Our heroes discover they are in the year 2063, and discover they must protect the person who made the first warp flight by huimans, so they go to Montana where they find there Zefram Cochrane, who is a cynical and bitter old drunkard -- just like we remember him from the TOS Episode 'Metamorphosis'…
…oh…wait…scratch that last part...

A few Borg stowaways from the exploding sphere take over the Enterprise. Picard and crew fight the Borg and the Borg Queen (whaaa?? Borg Queen??) who for some strange reason was on the original sphere, and has now set up shop in the Enterprise.

Back on Earth, Troi gets drunk and Cochrane gets more drunk while listening to Steppenwolf and Roy Orbison.

Back in space Picard shoots some Borg with a 'Tommy' gun while wearing a white tuxedo.

Back on Earth, Reginald Barclay is in a fanwank scene. Cochrane finally launches the warp ship (with Geordi and Riker on board -- oh boy!!)

Back in space, more battle for control of the Enterprise, blah blah blah, our heroes foil the plans of the oxymoronical Borg Queen (who, by the way, said she was there during TNG’s 'The Best of Both Worlds', but oddly enough, Locutus/Picard never mentioned her existence…). Cochrane's flight is a success and the Vulcans decide we are a worthy species.

The question still remains (although nobody in the film asked these questions) why don’t the Borg just do this again, but this time go back in time THEN go to Earth -- or possibly send a larger invasion fleet in the first place?

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Does anybody else have no clue what's going on?

I feel just like Towelie!

http://supersmallgallery.com/London/towelie.jpg

I start reading a topic about the new Enterprise and wind up looking at avatars of cyborg dog penises.

You're welcome.