Disappointed with Christmas Presents ~ Yes I am!

[TerokNor]

Do it that way often as well. I love giving out gifts that have a meaning. This year I made a picture for my cousin, most collage, some painting about our childhood and teenage years...it also has Cardassians on it *g*....for another friend I sewed a pillow case per hand (cause I somehow cannot work with a mashine) that was a lot work, but it turned out quite nice. She is redecorating her home and the pillowcase of course has pictures on it with a meaning for us. And I collected a pretty stone in England at the coast and painted it with a turtle for a friend who loves stuff like this. And I baked many tasty cookies for other friends. ...

Though I mostly get material gifts back. I would love to sometimes get a self-made one too, but my friends/ family just aren´t very creative. Well... its not that they give me just something, they do think about the presents. Still...if they just would try a smallish self-made thing, it would warm me more than any other gift.

Well but then presents truly are not the most important thing.

And the biggest "present" for me for Christmas this year is that my dog is still there. I though last Christmas would be the last one with her. Though this Christmas will be the last one with her then I guess. But I am so grateful she is still there. No present can make me happier than having her by my side. Treassure every moment.


TerokNor

 

[Jadzia]

I used to get all sorts of awful gifts from my first boyfriend. Egads, he was a terrible gift-giver. When I was 19 I was interested in both philosophy and Star Trek, so he gets me a philosophy of Star Trek book. It adequately failed to be either a good book about Star Trek or philosophy. His other gifts were pretty similar in concept.

But did you know it was going to be a disappointing book before you read it? I find it's hard to judge a philosophy book without reading it through, which your boyfriend presumably wouldn't have done.

So it sounds more like transference. You were disappointed with the book and transfered that disappointment onto your boyfriend.

 

[Mary Ann]

Ye gods, I hate those annual Christmas barf letters, no matter who sends them. I'm grateful for email and Facebook, which eliminates the need for those horrible things where my international friends are concerned.

I'm a pretty good gift buyer and enjoy giving people things they'll really like. My husand, however, can be very bad at buying presents as he's one of those people who tends to buy what he wants. The worse was several years ago when he bought "me" the Beatles Anthology book and he didn't even bother to wrap it. I was SO angry with him that he actually got the message and never did anything that stupid again. His gift-buying skills have improved over the years though that could be thanks to my daughter's influence. Don't get me wrong, he's a really sweet guy normally, which is why we've stayed married for 15 1/2 years.

My dad is also a bad gift-buyer but he admits it, and his grandchildren appreciates the cash he gives them instead of gifts. I wish he'd done that for me when I was a teenager, but that would make me sound ungrateful, so I won't.

 

[Spot's Meow]

The only gifts that disappoint me are ones where the person obviously put no thought into it at all and only chose something out of obligation. But that doesn't happen too often, usually I just get gifts from my family and they are pretty good gift givers.

There was one time though, that my mom and aunt kept raving to me about this awesome gift they got me, for weeks before Christmas. I thought it was going to be something so amazing, I'm not even sure what but I thought for sure I would love it. And then I opened it to discover that it was a sweatshirt from the college I would be attending the next year. The gift itself was nice and I liked it (still wear it), but it was kind of anti-climactic after all the build up on their parts.

My boyfriend is awful at buying gifts. One year I mentioned that I wanted these "women boxers" type pajama shorts while we were at Old Navy. So he bought me men's boxers and a hideous shirt that was two sizes too big for me. He knows my size but he said that all of the correct size were sold out so he just got a bigger one. Riiight...Since then he's gotten better though, and I always appreciate that he puts any thought into it at all.

 

[auntiehill]

The worst is my mother in law; she's never liked me much and always had to get some sort of dig in. She never has a nice word to say to me and does nothing but badmouth people all day.

The year before last, in front of everyone, she ripped a piece of wrapping paper off the roll, wrote IOU 1 present and handed it to me on Christmas day. She laughed and said, "I had already done the rest of my shopping and just couldn't be bothered to do any more."

It's bad enough she calls me fat--to my face--every chance she gets, but this really clinched it for me.

I still get her gifts for Christmas, not to mention picking out every birthday and Mother's Day gift she's gotten for the past 6 years (nice ones, too)--since hubby won't do his own shopping. But after that Christmas (she never *did* get me anything), there was really no doubt whatsoever about how she felt about me.

She really is a horrible old bat.

 

[BolianAuthor]

^

You should have given her a boot with a note taped to it saying: "IOU... one more of these up your ass".

 

[auntiehill]

Don't think that thought hadn't occurred.

But she's 85. I'm quietly hoping she dies soon.



*did I say that out loud?*

 

[Jetfire]

Mean people seem to live longer...she will probably live to 105.

 

[Captain Shaw]

The worst is my mother in law; she's never liked me much and always had to get some sort of dig in. She never has a nice word to say to me and does nothing but badmouth people all day.

The year before last, in front of everyone, she ripped a piece of wrapping paper off the roll, wrote IOU 1 present and handed it to me on Christmas day. She laughed and said, "I had already done the rest of my shopping and just couldn't be bothered to do any more."

It's bad enough she calls me fat--to my face--every chance she gets, but this really clinched it for me.

I still get her gifts for Christmas, not to mention picking out every birthday and Mother's Day gift she's gotten for the past 6 years (nice ones, too)--since hubby won't do his own shopping. But after that Christmas (she never *did* get me anything), there was really no doubt whatsoever about how she felt about me.

She really is a horrible old bat.

I can't believe your husband makes you put up with that crap.

 

[auntiehill]

^Sometimes, neither can I. He never does anything to defend me against his family or friends. His buddy's now ex-girlfriend used to call me "bitch" to MY FACE whenever we got together and he never once stood up for me. He'll go out of his way to be uber-nice to everyone ELSE, but never seems the least bit concerned about my feelings. I guess he gets that from his mom.

This is going to be a horrible Christmas for me. I really can't wait to get up to my Mom's. That for, me, is Christmas.

 

[Captain Shaw]

^Sometimes, neither can I. He never does anything to defend me against his family or friends. His buddy's now ex-girlfriend used to call me "bitch" to MY FACE whenever we got together and he never once stood up for me. He'll go out of his way to be uber-nice to everyone ELSE, but never seems the least bit concerned about my feelings. I guess he gets that from his mom.

This is going to be a horrible Christmas for me. I really can't wait to get up to my Mom's. That for, me, is Christmas.

Maybe you need a new husband for Christmas.

 

[Mary Ann]

^My condolences, auntie. Your MIL sounds like mine, except that mine doesn't have the guts to badmouth me to my face. She has always favoured my husband's younger sister's children over ours, to the point that my kids noticed it (in fact, they noticed it before my husband did. Dur.). Every Christmas my husband and I will get a joint gift from the in-laws, usually a box of Sainsbury's biscuits (oh, the thrill of it all ) and my husband will get a separate, much better gift, but not me. She's the main reason I put my foot down years ago when I told my husband we would not spend Christmas day with his parents.

My kids are spazzed out at the moment, partially due to excitement and partially due to the ginger biscuits I baked earlier and which they decorated. Despite their older ages they still get sugar highs, and it may be past midnight before I can sneak into their rooms and put their stockings on their beds.

 

[tomalak301]

I actually had this same feeling but on the other side of the coin. I wasn't going to buy my friend anything (We do hang out a lot and we really haven't done the whole gift giving thing) but then last week he gave me a card and some Itunes gift cards. I started feeling a little guilty because I hadn't planned and getting him anything. Then after he dropped me off I decided I was going to give him a card and a Best Buy gift card (He loves video games and DVDs so I figured that would be great for him) and felt better.

My point, and how this ties to this thread, is I understand the feeling of the gift exchanging amongst friends. If all they send is a letter talking about their year (And I read those, but what I like about Facebook and now I'm on Twitter, they end up becoming meaningless in a way) you do start to wonder about the whole friend thing.

 

[auntiehill]

SIGH


I also know I'm extremely sensitive; I need to grow a much thicker skin.

The holidays mean a lot to me, and I know his family could give a rat's ass about it. Everyone thinks I'm nut for caring about holidays so much ( I even care about Halloween, and we don't even have kids). These things mean a lot to more and all his family and friends don't care at all. It's kinda of hard for me to not get wound up about it.

 

[Captain Shaw]

SIGH


I also know I'm extremely sensitive; I need to grow a much thicker skin.

The holidays mean a lot to me, and I know his family could give a rat's ass about it. Everyone thinks I'm nut for caring about holidays so much ( I even care about Halloween, and we don't even have kids). These things mean a lot to more and all his family and friends don't care at all. It's kinda of hard for me to not get wound up about it.

Sends you a hug. We don't have a hug smiley so this will have to do... I hope your day turns out to be great.

 

[Holdfast]

I don't really exchange pressies with my dad any more. I visit him for Christmas with a good bottle or two and he makes sure I get a good Christmas dinner. That's as far as gift exchanging goes any more, and frankly I consider that a very good trade.

As for everyone else I know, I got some rather nice pressies this year; mostly of edible or imbibable nature (all of which are always very welcome) in return for gifts of similar kind, although I also got an interesting book about my tailor too.

So not so shabby.

Very few people I know take the holidays particularly seriously, myself included, so gift exchanging and general fuss about Christmas is fairly limited.

 

[Dukat's Major]

I used to get all sorts of awful gifts from my first boyfriend. Egads, he was a terrible gift-giver. When I was 19 I was interested in both philosophy and Star Trek, so he gets me a philosophy of Star Trek book. It adequately failed to be either a good book about Star Trek or philosophy. His other gifts were pretty similar in concept.

Hmmm. I think I'd give the guy points for effort. At least he was paying enough attention to know what your interests are.

Oh, he got points, certainly. I said he was a bad gift-giver, but he did make an effort. He was good at giving me things that he would eventually himself be interested in consuming/using --- when he bought exclusively for me he tended to fumble a bit. Still, it's not like he gave me stereotypically bad gifts or worse, forgot completely.

 

[Dukat's Major]

I used to get all sorts of awful gifts from my first boyfriend. Egads, he was a terrible gift-giver. When I was 19 I was interested in both philosophy and Star Trek, so he gets me a philosophy of Star Trek book. It adequately failed to be either a good book about Star Trek or philosophy. His other gifts were pretty similar in concept.

But did you know it was going to be a disappointing book before you read it? I find it's hard to judge a philosophy book without reading it through, which your boyfriend presumably wouldn't have done.

So it sounds more like transference. You were disappointed with the book and transfered that disappointment onto your boyfriend.

Nope, it wasn't transference, actually. It's interesting you can make that determination after a sentence description of the situation, however (considering I dated him seriously for four years). Wait, you didn't date him too, did you? I dunno, I haven't seen the dude in years.

 

[Kelso]

My family doesn't really do the present thing anymore, too many kids to buy for. And having split with the ex means nothing from that side either. The only present I am likely to receive this year is the $4 Worf Christmas Ornament that the new girlfriend found for me at a thrift store. And I fucking love it.

No disappointments here.

 

[Bisz]

When I got home from work yesterday I bought myself the Cuisinart Griddler and two large Lego sets (Imperial Flagship and the new Power Functions remote controlled Loader). I'll be quite happy when those arrive.