What was a girl Klingon covert reconnaissance operative to do when she was stranded on a Federation ship racing through sub-space towards an unknown region that left the entire Romulan Empire and United Federation of Planets between the ship she was a stowaway on, and her home?
T'Nilz was lucky the Doohan was so new that her closet hadn't been a closet long enough to actually contain much in the way of supplies for the rec. area. But it was only a matter of very little time before someone replicated something, and decided to store it for later, rather than feed it back into the materials recovery hoppers. She thought maybe a move was in order. Crew decks, perhaps?
T'Nilz had cracked her way into the ship's manifests and personnel records, If she could find an empty cabin and move in, as though she were a member of the crew; the fact that no one was missing from watch, and these humans’ odd penchant for respecting each other's privacy, might mean she could live for a while undisturbed, closed up in an “occupied” crew cabin. T'Nilz squated and opened her micro mission computer attached just above her right poleyn, and got to work.
It didn't take long. There were 66 spare cabins, reserved for extra personnel, plus 12 whole suites on another deck, intended to host diplomats and their delegations.
‘What a waste of resources,’ thought T'Nilz, as she dismissed the idea that a full luxury diplomatic suite of rooms for some VIP and their staff might be the “best” place to hide. Even an ordinary spaceman's cabin was more luxury than a hardened warrior should get used to. It would be difficult enough to pull something like this off, without figuring out how to explain an invisible diplomat. Humans were so soft and naive, she felt boldness was the better approach to valor, here. Why the Empire was worried about them was not easy for T'Nilz to understand.
There wasn't much in the way of supplies in the rec closet, as the Klingon had noted earlier, but there was a first aid kit. It was the recreation quarter of the ship.
On a Klingon ship, only personal space and a few court cubes were set aside for serious competitive recreation. Otherwise, most Klingon warriors worked out their aggression in the martial circle. Handball? T'Nilz almost snickered at the image of two prancing Earthlings thinking they were honing their combat skills by slapping a small ball around inside a little box. Why not add a small battle axe or a broad dagger to hit the ball with, and use when your opponent loses their focus? That would help hone that fighting edge!
T'Nilz found a good candidate for her more permanent hiding place. If she weren't so out-gunned, trapped aboard this ship, she would gladly risk a direct attack to capture the shiny new Federation ship, but there was no honor in suicide. That was lesson number one when she had volunteered to go through recon school five years ago. Apparently, the growing Klingon spy machine had suffered heavy losses in its early inception because warriors couldn't say no to a fight when they were set down behind enemy lines.
Okay, it was time. T'Nilz had to get up four decks and into the officer's quarters. She was going to have to take off her black body suit and cover up her Klingon features. Her plan involved bandages and a track suit she had pulled from someone's locker the day before. She hoped the sneakers, shorts, and sweatshirt were enough of a disguise. Klingon skin tone was a little more gray than most Earthlings.
“Hu'tegh!” T'Nilz chuffed out, while struggling in the closet to get the human sweatshirt on over her head. She should have put the bandages on last, not first. The QI'yaH-ing top was too small. Besides the neck opening having trouble fitting over her bandages, the elastic hem didn't stretch far enough to pull easily over her mammaries.
‘Are all human women flat chested?’ she thought to herself, unable to see, while teetering half naked in the confined space, nothing else but her light chafe guard covering her…essentials.
Finally she mashed herself into the purloined top and regretfully reached for the shorts. It seemed Earth women didn't have the hips of Klingon females, either. T'Nilz had a moment of respect for the women of any species that had to push a baby out through hips that narrow. Both top and shorts stretched to their max around the warrior woman, digging uncomfortably into places she rather they didn't dig into. Such are the trials of a warrior to bear.
When T'Nilz carefully folded her black body suit around her fortunately light and low profile armor, then stuffed it forcefully up under her already straining top. With the two cup shaped poleyns, the elbow counters nested inside them, it pulled the elastic hem of the sweatshirt up above her hips to the narrowest part of her waist, well above the low the straining waistband of her inadequate shorts, exposing her umbilical scar. The whole ensemble made a veritable caricature of her girlish figure. What's a girl to do? A warrior carries on.
T'Nilz would have taken a deep breath before opening the closet and letting herself out, but that was actually, as well as literally, impossible. Her scans showed the gym area currently empty, and there were only two couples in the “game" room playing cards. No one saw her exit the closet. That was most important.
Now, to get to the turbo-lifts.
“Excuse me, ma'am, are you alright? Do you need an any, um… can I I be of any…help?”
T'Nilz startled and turned to the voice behind her. She saw through her bandages covering her face, a young blond officer, a lieutenant junior grade, staring straight at her chest. As it happens, the semi-flexible armor that her poleyns were constructed of, each have a small blunt round protruding sensor right in the center of their cup shape. These allowed her to put exactly the amount of pressure needed on a surface, a door, a glass wall, anything that needed careful, precise handling, to both avoid making noise when moving an object, and as one of many listening methods through solid surfaces. All she had to do was press a knee against the surface and select her task by finger tap. She could slide or push a door with exact pressure, or hear a whispered conversation. They were diamond hard too, and acted as a force focal point, to efficiently break said glass, or a body, with a sharp knee strike. It was these two lewdly placed sensor buttons that the young male officer couldn't seem to rip his eyes away from.
“Commander!” said T'Nilz, adjusting her voice to be a little higher pitched, trying to sound like an Earth woman. She might have over done it a little and she sounded more like an old anime comic character. But she had never seen an anime video, so she didn't realize how she sounded.
If you don't want someone to pay too close attention to you, intimidation through rank is a good way to do it. Her “outfit” didn't show any rank insignia, so she decided to take the upper hand and out-rank her unwelcome solicitor.
The young officer's eyes shot up to her collar, then to her shoulders, then down and up her entire body. Finding no symbols of status, he finally turned his eyes to hers and nervously apologized, “I am sorry, ma'am.. ah sir…” his eyes flashed over her exaggerated figure again. “Ma'am! My name is lieutenant junior grade Jetson. I am happy to help in any way I can.”
He brought his heels together and saluted.
T'Nilz hesitated in thought. ‘Oh yes, return the salute, T'Nilz.’
The man waited with a fingertip to above his right eyebrow. She returned the salute, making sure to use her right hand.
The downward jerk of her arm caused the foundation under her stuffed shirt to wobble, and the young man's eyes got distracted again. The crewman relaxed only enough to drop his arm.
“M ma'am, if I might in… inquire, what happened?” he pointed at the bandages covering T'Nilz's face.
T'Nilz had prepared for this possible question. A Klingon would never ask another Klingon about an obvious injury before they had fully recovered. The bandaged woman chose a laconic approach. “Handball.”
At that moment the card game in the game room ended and two males came walking over, they were all eyes.
The young officer turned, “The commander,” Jetson stressed the rank, “is… um…” he turned back to the Klingon woman. “You were telling me… ah ah us, you were telling us what we can do for you, commander.”
The two new men hurried over and restated Lieutenant Junior Grade Jetson's offer. “Absolutely, ma'am. Anything you need, I… I…we are here to help you with...”
T'Nilz figured she could kill all three men easily enough, but, as lesson number one said, “There is no honor in suicide,” and lesson number two said, “getting caught is suicide.” Certainly she can't kill three officers and NOT set off a ship-wide manhunt for her, even if she managed to dispose of the bodies before someone else came along.
“I just was going back to my cabin to…rest,” It was almost painful for her to suggest that a little facial injury was justification enough to… rest, especially one caused by something as stupid as a handball to the face. Really, these Earthlings had no idea what honor and spirit was.
“Absolutely, ma'am. Let … us help you. The turbo-lifts are right over this way.”
The officious young officers decided to keep her company, even to the point of getting in the turbo-lift with her.
Thankfully it was a short ride, because Lieutenant Second Grade Bourne wanted to make “small talk” and was trying to ask about her origins back on Earth. At first, T'Nilz thought he was suspicious, and was trying to test her story, get her to show herself as not human, but he would interrupt his own questions with how he was from some place called Kansas. His family grew corn, he was related to…
‘Oh Qu'vatlh, the ride is over,’ T'Nilz thanked the universe.
They all three exited onto the officers' quarters.
“Which cabin did you say?” Asked young Jetson.
“59.”
Another male officer walked past and stopped, turned and asked of her, “Greetings, uh… ma'am. I would be happy to help, if you are looking for someone.” He couldn't stop himself from appreciating the almost absurd feminine vision that she was.
“She is looking for me!” stated a lieutenant commander, walking confidently up to the group of men and one woman. He was handsome by human standards, but all T'Nilz saw in him was slicked up weakness. The guy's hair was perfect, his five o'clock shadow was obviously cultivated, his teeth were the whitest teeth she'd ever seen. Plus, everything about his uniform said careful pressing and “please, keep your dirt off the fabric.”
Slick just had to ask, “what happened…uh…”
“Commander!” T'Nilz filled in for the man, whether or not that was what he was struggling to ask. She ignored the offered handshake.
“Of course, you are too gorgeous to be anything less than a commander. My name is Lieutenant Commander Ersatz. Are we neighbors? I definitely would have noticed you,” and here the cosmetic man was “refined” enough to pointedly look T'Nilz body up and down. “Before,” he finished.
‘Lieutenant Commander Ersatz, you will be the first one I kill, when the time comes,’ thought the disguised warrior.
The third officer from the rec. cabin, who hadn't yet spoken, said, “cabin 59 is this way. Just follow us,” and he waited for T'Nilz to follow him. Everyone else followed, as well.
‘Do they think I've never been to my own cabin before?” She wondered to herself, calling upon her very strong discipline to not say something out loud. After all, she hasn't been to the cabin before and it was actually very helpful to have it pointed out to her. And, since she hadn't already strangled the lieutenant commander, then she felt certain she had enough self-discipline for whatever she needed to do.
“I know where my cabin is, boys.” T'Nilz didn't know why she said “boys”, but it gave her a certain satisfaction to point out that they weren't “men”, in her eyes.
“Please, allow me,” said the latest and least welcome arrival to T'Nilz's new fan club. The lieutenant commander reached out and tapped the access panel, and cabin 59 opened for the group of men and the one woman. They all surged forward.
“Stop!” demanded the disguised Klingon woman in an undisguised Klingon voice.
All five men froze.
“Thank you, but…” T'Nilz used her anime voice again, “but I need to rest… by my self… alone?” She put a bit of a rise in her voice at the end; a question that said, “why don't you understand that?” without being so pointed.
“Ohhh… . Yes ma'am, of course ma'am. Sorry ma'am,” they all stammered out in one form or another.
The five men stepped aside and allowed T'Nilz to enter the empty quarters. She shut the port behind her.
“Qu'vatlh!” she let herself breathe out quietly. She immediately scanned the cabin then reached up with a groan of relief to tugged her stuffed top empty.
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To the beginning of Deeper into the Final Frontier