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Dec challenge. Sniper: Someone to Love

captcalhoun

Admiral
Admiral
Warning, contains scenes of a sexual nature. I think it's PG-13 though...

sniper.jpg


Starbase 233
2375

The hanger bay had been cleared of shuttles, runabouts and other auxiliary craft. The space-doors were open, the atmospheric forcefields holding the air in, allowing a large starscape to dominate one side of the vast room. Tables lined one wall, laden with finger food and hors d’oeuvre from a variety of planets. One of the station’s small number of civilians was tending bar at one end.

Bobbi March felt rather self-conscious as she entered the hanger for the victory party. Like several other females attending the party, she’d opted to wear a fancy gown. It wasn’t something she was used to doing. Even when off-duty, she wore her plain black jumpsuit or Starfleet uniform. Some of the human men were wearing old-fashioned tuxedoes and bow ties. Some people, of varying species were wearing the white dress uniforms of Starfleet, while others opted to retain normal duty uniforms.

Bobbi decided before she could face too many people to head for the bar. The bartender cheerfully supplied her with a neat Scotch that she slugged back quickly. The real alcohol jolted through her. For her second drink, she took a non-alcoholic carbonated drink from Earth.

The hanger’s com system had been isolated and was playing old Earth music. A few couples were dancing in the middle of the hanger, while knots of people stood around, chatting.

Bobbi sipped her drink and looked around for a familiar face.

Commander Scott Freeman sipped his Saurian Brandy as he and his date for the evening, Lieutenant T’lana chatted with a lieutenant from Starfleet Intelligence.

He noticed the gorgeous blonde in the red dress. She looked lonely as she sipped her cola. He wondered who she was. T’lana gently nudged him.

“The lieutenant asked you a question, Scott.”

Scott glanced at T’lana and then looked back at the lieutenant. “Yes, mate?”

“I said, have you met Lieutenant Commander March?”

Scott shook his head. “Who’s that?”

The lieutenant pointed. “The blonde you were ogling, sir.”

Scott frowned. “I wasn’t ogling her, I just wondered who she was and thought she looked lonely.”

T’lana looked at him faintly suspicious. “She is rather attractive by human standards,” the Vulcan commented.

Scott shrugged. “Maybe.” He turned to the Intelligence officer. “C’mon Harry, why don’t you go talk to her?”

The lieutenant shrugged. “I dunno. Haven’t you heard about Commander March? The Ice Maiden? The Cold-hearted Killer? Half of the people who know her are terrified of her.”

Scott smiled. “Sounds like a fascinating woman to me, but I’m attached. Why don’t you see if you can thaw her out?”

Harry rolled his eyes. He had to admit, though, she did look good in the dress, which fitted her like a corset, amplifying her bust and showing her shapely legs. He sank the rest of his cocktail and then headed for the bar, ostensibly for a refill.

Scott smiled at T’lana. “This should be fun.”

T’lana looked rather arch as she glanced at him. “I’d rather not watch.”

Scott smiled, “How about a dance then, madam?” He extended his hand and T’lana took it.

“I am not familiar with human dances,” she admitted.

Scott’s smile widened. “Great, neither am I.”

Harry looked back over his shoulder to Scott and T’lana and saw them disappearing toward the ‘dance floor’.

Taking a deep breath to steel his resolve, he moved close to the bar and stood near Bobbi.

“Hello, Commander,” he said by way of an opening gambit. Bobbi looked around at him.

“Hi…uh, sorry, do I know you?” Bobbi felt slightly guilty for not recognising this cute guy. He wore command red on his uniform and two gold pips.

The cute lieutenant stuck his hand out. “Lieutenant Harrison Ryan. Call me ‘Harry’.”

Bobbi took his hand, but before she could shake, Harry suavely kissed her knuckles.

Bobbi smiled and tried not to giggle like a little girl. No one had ever done that before.

“Enjoying the party, Commander?” Harry asked.

“Call me Bobbi,” she told him. “And no, not really. I’m not exactly a great social person as you probably know.”

Harry frowned. “What do you mean?”

Bobbi laughed. “Oh, come on, Harry. I know I’m widely known. I’ve got a reputation as a cold-blooded killing machine. Like I’m inhuman or something. I do hear the stories sometimes.”

Harry floundered for a second. “You don’t seem cold-blooded to me, Bobbi.”

She smiled, warmly. Harry felt a rush of blood to his head. When she smiled like that, he felt like taking on the entire Jem’hadar army single-handed. He’d never felt like this before. About any woman. He’d had dalliances to be sure, but nothing serious. Now, barely had he met the woman and he wanted to… well, prove to her someone cared and prove to the entire galaxy she wasn’t some slaughter-machine.

Harry moved closer to her, lowering his voice slightly. “I think you're hot stuff in that dress. If you’re not feeling sociable, why don’t we go some place else?”

Bobbi favoured him with a small smile. “Fast mover aren’t you?”

“I’m like a DY-500, Bobbi. I only operate on impulse.”

She laughed at that.

As Scott glided across the dance floor, holding T’lana close, he saw Harry and Bobbi head out the doors into the station corridors.

“Christ,” he muttered. “He doesn’t hang about.”

T’lana lifted her head from Scott’s chest to look at him. “Who?”

“Harry. He and that Bobbi March just left.”

T’lana stroked the rounded tip of Scott’s ear, then whispered, “I’d rather stay here all night, in your arms.”

Scott squeezed her and span them around in a small circle, “Dancing, dancing, yea-eh-eh!” he sang to himself.

Bobbi and Harry sat in a small crew lounge on deck five. A large picture window showed the vastness of space, with the barely visible U.S.S. Wraith hanging at the edge.

Neither was paying attention to the stars. They were passionately kissing, arms around one another.

Two days later, they met for lunch at the station’s Argellian restaurant.

The next day, they had a picnic in the station’s arboretum.

Two days after that, they met in the holodeck and Bobbi taught Harry to shoot old-fashioned guns.

Then Harry invited her back to his quarters for dinner.

They only got halfway through dinner before finding something else to do. In the bedroom.

Bobbi luxuriated in the feel of the soft sheets against her bare skin as she lay on the bed the following morning. This was like heaven. She’d never felt so happy, so alive before.

Harry woke up as she rolled toward him. “Morning,” he said, smiling.

Bobbi kissed him passionately, her hand slipped down his chest toward his groin. Harry kissed her back.

“Morning glory,” Bobbi said.

Harry laughed.

Bobbi straddled him and leaned down to kiss him again. She stared in to his eyes. “I love you.”

He grinned. “I think you’ve proved that.”

As they began to make love again, he whispered in her ear.

“I love you.”

Bobbi felt it was a new era for her. The galaxy-shaping events of the Dominion War had brought her here, to what was her happiest moment in her entire life
 
On the plus side, a very interesting story, especially utilising Bobbi in it which makes it all the more unexpected, and definitely fits into the challenge with characters finding love after the horrors of war. I don’t think you crossed any line with the sexual imagery, at least not for me.

On the downside the romance was a little rushed, I’d have liked to have seen one or more of their dates in a little bit more detail, and/or perhaps a bit more about why they were falling for one another after the horrors they’d seen during the Dominion war. Also some of the dialogue was beyond cringe worthy…I realise that’s probably what you were going for but I think you fell the wrong side of kitsch.

Hope that wasn’t too Craig Revel Horwood :devil:
 
I agree with most of what Starkers has pointed out.

Considering the entire Sniper saga though, I really enjoyed this change of pace and pay off for Bobbie's torturous war years. It was clearly too rushed however, a bit of a slower approch I think would have worked better. You had a lot of words to use here, if you wanted.
 
Primarily it was "I think you're hot stuff in that dress", but the DY-500 gag made me cringe too, partially because it doesn't even make sense! Impulse is slow after all. "I'm like a photon torpedo I only travel at warp" on the other hand...

It didn't ruin the story or anything so perhaps I bigged it up too much. The let down was the rushed pace...but you do like to get your stories in first! :angel:
 
So the Sniper is a human being after all. Interesting. It's well written, although I have to agree in part with Starkers - we don't really get much of a sense of why they fall for each other. Is it just pure chemistry and passion?
 
she's falling for him cuz someone's showing interest in her.
he's falling for her because she's hot and he's thinking with his pants.

i'll follow up on this.

i dunno whether Mistral's being serious or not...
 
I thought the DY-500 line was hilarious, and a saving point after his 'hot stuff' comment. I think if he hadn't made her laugh then she would have decked him :)

I haven't read the Sniper stories outside of the challenges, so I don't know the history of Bobbi's war, but this worked for me as a 'two people reacting to life after war' - it's a standard theme and so works by itself.

I think it worked quite well that we got no details of their other dates - it gave the impression that they were rushing headlong without thinking about anything.

Definitely a nice change of pace :)
 
Mistral is rarely 100% serious. I'm far too busy laughing at the things the voices in my head are telling me...
 
trample: Sniper exists only as a challenge-entry series. the one exception was 'Sniper: Tempered Steel' which dealt with her childhood and her training at the Academy. i'm glad you liked it.
 
captcalhoun said:
trample: Sniper exists only as a challenge-entry series. the one exception was 'Sniper: Tempered Steel' which dealt with her childhood and her training at the Academy. i'm glad you liked it.

Cool, okay. There must be a bunch I missed while I was moving house - I'd forgotten that I'd been offline for a few months then.
 
Impulse. One word, two meanings. I got it. What's that called similie. If only I had payed more attention in English class.
 
One of the big challenges of war is what do you do when the killing stops? How does someone hardened by war let it all go?

Nicely done.
 
I liked this, though I also thought it was a little rushed: everything after the party seemed more like a rough sketch than a fully-detailed portrait. Still, it was a nice change of pace. Your Sniper stories just seem to get better and better.

My own favourite lines were:

“I am not familiar with human dances,” she admitted.

Scott’s smile widened. “Great, neither am I.”

:thumbsup:
 
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