Snyder is definitely known for being hyperstylized, but I don't think MOS even came close (even during the final battle) to looking as crazy and ridiculous as his previous movies.
I didn't say it did. Clearly he tried to be as naturalistic as he was capable of. But the most naturalistic Snyder can get is still quite stylized and exaggerated. He reduced Metropolis to a plain of rubble stretching to the horizon, then a few scenes later had the
Daily Planet building miraculously restored and the characters laughing as though nothing had happened. That's very, very far from naturalism.
The destruction may have been over the top, but it still looked and felt like what destruction on that level would probably feel like.
No, it didn't. It was exaggerated far beyond what it would really look like. The World Trade Center towers took over an hour to burn and collapse after the jet impacts, but Metropolis's skyscrapers were toppling like houses of cards at the instant of impact, a physically ridiculous scenario. And there wasn't a trace of how it would've felt, because most of the citizens were ignored after the first few minutes, evidently assumed by Snyder to have miraculously evacuated before the worst of the devastation, which is about as realistic as a
Power Rangers episode.
And the perspective we got from people on the ground also felt appropriately horrific and real-world-- much more than I've felt from any Marvel movie, at least.
I got no sense of that at all. There were some token running-and-screaming scenes, but they had no real connection to the story, and they had no lasting impact, as that absurdly cheery closing scene demonstrated.
Besides, "horrific" isn't the only thing that's realistic. Horrific is just what you expect in a disaster movie. What gives it realistic texture is the stuff you don't expect, the little touches of humor and humanity, the side stories going on in the background. The story of the shawarma proprietors who kept their shop open in the aftermath of a disaster and provided sustenance to the rescuers of the city -- that's its own little tale of heroism right there, and more realism than you could get from just having a bunch of people uniformly screaming in terror.
And the fighting between Superman and Zod didn't look any more far-fetched to me than what we've seen superpowered characters in the Marvel movies do (heck, the battle between Iron Man and Hulk in AOU was about as ridiculous and over the top as it comes).
As I've been saying, the realism isn't in what's going on in the foreground, but in the texture in the background. Even the most bizarre and fanciful things can feel believable if the world they're happening in has an everyday feel and texture to it, if the bystanders react like the people you know.
Superman: The Movie did a great job with this, telling a totally absurd, Silver Age Superman story with broad, comical heroes and villains, but setting it in a world that felt like everyday New York City and had ordinary people watching and reacting in a believable way to the unbelievable events. It's those spectators that make the difference, because we relate to them and how they react. It's like that famous
Charles Addams skier cartoon -- the sight gag of the ski trails going around both sides of the tree wouldn't be nearly as funny without the bystander staring in befuddlement. (This is also why sitcoms have studio audiences and laugh tracks. We're a social species, and we take cues from other people about how to react to things.)
(and heck, even the first Cap movie set during WWII couldn't resist throwing in cosmic energy cubes and red-skinned villains and an army of comic book soldiers!)
Again, the key to feeling grounded is not to avoid the crazy stuff, it's to have the crazy stuff take place in believable surroundings. Audiences will accept the fanciful as long as the world it occupies feels real.
But the real world is bright and colorful and joke-heavy. Sure, there's plenty of darkness to go around, but for the most part (at least in the developed world) the real world is made up of good people enjoying their lives, trying to be better people, and dealing with the occasional tragedy that befalls their lives. The Marvel films are way more realistic than Man of Steel.
Yes, yes, yes. A film that's relentlessly dark and grim is no more realistic than one that's relentlessly upbeat and cheerful. Real life is full of absurdity and unintentional comedy, and even the worst disasters bring out amazing acts of kindness and nobility.