Voyager overpowering a small Borg probe never bothered me. Neither did the Hansen's adventures. Now, the Queen caving in to Janeway's threat? That did! As if the Queen would have a fear of death! She should have just said "Go ahead, blow yourself up, I'll just reincarnate..."
Yeah, the Queen is just stupid. It stops making the Collective a scary force without fear that cannot be reasoned with to just another disgruntled villain of the week.
And a villain that cannot be defeated is useless as an antagonist. The hero has to prevail so the villain has to be vulnerable to something or you can't use him, it's either that or you don't use him at all. I've heard your argument over and over and frankly it doesn't make any sense, everything is less scary the more you know about it. That's true in real life and in fiction. Villains are only useful to provide tension and then be defeated otherwise you don't need them at all. Then when you use them up you think up a new one.
R. Star didn't say the Borg shouldn't be unbeatable, only that they shouldn't be something you can reason with! I agree with everything you said!
The thing is, the Borg were defeated in BOBW, not because someone reasoned with them, and certanly not because they were afraid, but because of one of their weaknesses. The same way they find strenght in working as collective, and obtain massive knowledge through assimilation, having access to a former drone, with deep knowledge of the Collective (since they share everything), should be crippling to the Borg. And it was!
Through Picard, the Enterprise crew learned how to deal with the Borg. Through Seven, the Voyager crew learned how to deal with the Borg. There's no need for the Queen letting Janeway leave because she fears for her life, that particular situation should have been solved through Seven's intimate knowledge of the Borg. In part, it was! They just needed to go all the way.
As I said before, my problem with this particular episode is not Voyager blowing up some lowly probe, or escaping from them, it's the Queen having fear!