Coworkers you just don't get along with

[FPAlpha]

So about half a year ago i returned to work at my former company although at a different place than before.

I work in logistics and we have two warehouses and prior to now i only had phone contact with a female colleague up until now where we work directly together and there were multiple instances where we had a fight over the phone about something and it got either louder or more aggressive until i hung up on her.

So at my new place i get along very well with all colleagues, joke with them and work together except with that woman. I honestly don't know what i did to her to dislike me and no matter what i do it doesn't seem to fit right with her.

See.. i make mistakes like everyone else. I had to learn some new stuff, re-train some old skills and knowledge after a year of absence so naturally i wasn't a pro who's been doing this for years and everyone seems to understand that, even my superiors.

I had a standard work performance talk a few weeks ago with my bossess and it was productive, they told me where i need to work on myself a bit but overall they are very satisfied with me and glad they got me back yet there was this one thing with that woman that was a constant problem.

A few months ago i did my first night shift and she was the one who was supposed to teach me the specifics of the night shift.. a bit complicated stuff and she rattled the points down like a machine gun so fast i couldn't write everything down properly. Come next night i was supposed to do everything by myself and naturally i had to ask often if that was right (and it was a bit under pressure the first hour since some tasks have to be done by a certain time) and she was always annoyed when i asked her and downright rude at times.

Third night i blew up since i couldn't take it anymore and we had a fight.. i asked her directly what was up, why she was like that to me and what i did to earn that. She defended herself by saying that it's not that she dislikes me at all, was all up for it when they asked the team if it was ok for me to re-join etc and that she knows she's rude at times and that it's a problem.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago where not much has changed.. she zero's in on almost every mistake i make, no matter how small and points it out openly (like forgetting to update our data on time and correctly which is really no big deal) and constantly rolled her eyes and was otherwise clearly showing she's not comfortable working with me.

It got so bad that i stopped talking to her at all about non-work related stuff (not that we talked about that much at all), only talked when there was no way to avoid it work-wise and i did my best to ignore her the rest of the time and naturally our superiors noticed that.

So i had a talk with my superiors again about her and they had a talk with her again.. it's common knowledge and experience from the entire team that they all experienced the same thing in the beginning with her. They claimed she just needs to time to "warm" up to somebody and that it will pass but i just don't see it. She is still dismissve like the first day we started working and i still don't have any fun when i have to work at the same time with her.

So, sorry for this longer than planned rant, what would you do in my place? I was this close to pull her aside and give her a word or two but the superiors were a bit quicker.. i don't need her to like me but a bare minimum of co-worker neutrality, communication and helping each other is what i want/need and i just don't get it.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I kind of wonder why they keep this person when she's apparently so difficult to work with.

 

[Mr Awe]

If all you say is true, and I have no reason to doubt it, it sounds like it's her, not you! She and management acknowledge that she has a problem in that area. They might be keeping her because she may be really good at her job. I don't know. But, reducing conversations with her is probably the best approach. Maybe after time she'll warm up to you as well.

Mr Awe

 

[SeerSGB]

I've had a couple of people that I had trouble working with the past. You either learn to "make nice" (even when you want to claw their eyes out) or you find another job-- at least that's been my experience. Shitty coworkers just going with being in the working world.

I've worked with several, but a couple big stand outs:

1 job I had a little cu...uh...spoiled brat of a girl (well early 20s) that would constantly sneak off work early, hang out with friends in the store or chat on the phone, but had a knack for making her crappy work look like someone's else fault or taking credit for other peoples work. Having a idiot manager who didn't want conflict in the store that might get back to the DM didn't help matters.

At another job had a AM that was pissed constantly at the world for...well you name it. And some how it always circled back to his was short (a smidge under 5 foot nothing) and people treated him like shit cause of it and he wasn't going to take their shit. We'll ignore the fact it was cause he spent so much time bitching about being short, or "respect his position", or arguing with his ex-girlfriend, or actually didn't know how to be a AM and got the job cause he survived various firings and cut backs over the years and need the floor-staff to do his paperwork or cover for him when he goofed up big, it was his height that what is was.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

At my last job, I had to wear many hats. In addition to supporting tools for my fellow developers, I also had to provide support for our software releases, and direct customer support (at least as it pertained to installing/upgrading/patching our software.) You can imagine that the customer support side of that took priority over internal support.

Well, there was one guy who didn't seem to understand that. He was having problems with a tool I supported, and was leaving me nasty messages while I was knee deep in making urgent customer patches. It would be some time before I could help him because his description of the problem made it sound like it would require quite a bit of investigation--probably hours. I simply didn't have the time. I let him know I would get to him in the next few days, but that wasn't good enough.

He went to his boss, who talked to my boss, who came to me about it, and I told him what was up. We ended up having a meeting, all four of us, to get to the bottom of the issue. Turned out the guy was using the tool incorrectly, doing things you weren't supposed to do with it. Without getting too technical, there are both application elements and deliverable data, and the tool was meant to track application elements--but not the deliverable data. Or rather, it wasn't meant to do it in the way he was attempting to do it. I explained how it was meant to be used, and while he didn't like the weird way you had to do it, he accepted my explanation and went about his business.

He was always a bit hostile to me after that, and I just shrugged it off. I can tell you I didn't make his support requests a high priority, though, after that whole ordeal.

I normally have no issues getting along with coworkers. I'm pretty easygoing and can't think of any other instance where I just plain didn't get along with somebody at work.

 

[FPAlpha]

I kind of wonder why they keep this person when she's apparently so difficult to work with.

Well.. she's been there almost the longest and gets along with others quite well (maybe apart from forklift drivers and loading personell who have almost all a negative view of her and groan if they have to work a night shift with her).

She's been passed over promotion twice now and it's her attitude problem that's the cause of it and not her work performance because she really knows what she's doing and has much experience which most likely has saved her ass so long.

However the day she gets to be my superior will be the day i'll honestly consider looking for another job which would be a shame since i like my co-workers much and the work isn't too bad.

Who knows.. i'm starting a two year advanced training program (two times per week for a few hours after work and on Saturdays) and might not be there forever. If she warms up.. awesome. If not.. economy is quite good here in Germany, i have experience and it's not difficult to find something else in logistics here.

 

[OmahaStar]

Sorry, why do you feel the need to get along with everyone in your work environment? Is there a rule that says you must be best friends with everyone there? I'm not aware of any such requirement here where I work. Sure, there are jerks everywhere. Either they change or they don't. None of my concern. I'm here - and you're at your job - to do the job, get paid, and go home.

 

[RoJoHen]

I have always gotten along with everyone I've ever worked with. I haven't liked all of them (in fact, some of them I downright despised), but I got along with them just fine.

 

[SeerSGB]

Sorry, why do you feel the need to get along with everyone in your work environment? Is there a rule that says you must be best friends with everyone there? I'm not aware of any such requirement here where I work. Sure, there are jerks everywhere. Either they change or they don't. None of my concern. I'm here - and you're at your job - to do the job, get paid, and go home.

Just makes the work day easier.

Very recently I know someone that got turned in (and written up) cause they didn't smile at a fellow co-worker and the co-worker went and complained to the supervisor that the person was being "uppity" and "rude" by not smiling. That person had come in at 7AM in the morning, the person walked in the door, was swamped within 5 minutes, the complainer came in at 8AM, and was "upset" and "had to take the day off" cause her co-worker didn't smile at her as she walked by the person's (who was on the phone at the time) desk. She was written up for "failure to exert a welcoming and team spirit attitude towards a fellow co-worker"

 

[RoJoHen]

Now that's just overkill.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Sorry, why do you feel the need to get along with everyone in your work environment? Is there a rule that says you must be best friends with everyone there? I'm not aware of any such requirement here where I work. Sure, there are jerks everywhere. Either they change or they don't. None of my concern. I'm here - and you're at your job - to do the job, get paid, and go home.

I guess that's a nice attitude if you don't have to actually interact with your coworkers, but some of us do. You don't have to be friends, but there's no need to be rude and hostile.

 

[SeerSGB]

Now that's just overkill.

Crap gets abused all the time and the company doesn't even investigate the claims they just go to default "Verbal/write up" to cover their asses from a lawsuit.

 

[doubleohfive]

Sorry, why do you feel the need to get along with everyone in your work environment? Is there a rule that says you must be best friends with everyone there? I'm not aware of any such requirement here where I work. Sure, there are jerks everywhere. Either they change or they don't. None of my concern. I'm here - and you're at your job - to do the job, get paid, and go home.

I guess that's a nice attitude if you don't have to actually interact with your coworkers, but some of us do. You don't have to be friends, but there's no need to be rude and hostile.

This.

I've been going through something of a similar situation in recent weeks, and tearing myself up over it. I generally get along with EVERYONE, even the people I can't really stand... but for some reason this particular situation was causing me considerable stress at work... and I finally realized I was upset because I came in to this job expecting to be friends or become friends with the two or three people I work directly with.

When I realized that I could still do my job effectively, professionally and almost to the letter without actually having to add a deeper personal relationship (beyond that of a respectful co-worker), I felt much better.

I don't necessarily like that I have to be "on" the entire day in case these people are watching or are trying to make me look bad, but I've become much better at handling that kind of thing inwardly than I was just a few weeks ago.

 

[Starbreaker]

Hmm.... there's this guy that just started working with me, who I feel is very hostile towards everything I say or do. He doesn't like to take breaks or lunches because he says he "has to work twice as hard as everyone else" and is afraid he will "be given twice the criticism of everyone else." There are really some very bizarre people in the workforce. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to get paid to take 15 minute breaks, then that's what I'm going to do.

 

[RoJoHen]

Hmm.... there's this guy that just started working with me, who I feel is very hostile towards everything I say or do. He doesn't like to take breaks or lunches because he says he "has to work twice as hard as everyone else" and is afraid he will "be given twice the criticism of everyone else." There are really some very bizarre people in the workforce. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to get paid to take 15 minute breaks, then that's what I'm going to do.

Yeah. I get an hour lunch plus two 15 minute breaks, and I have absolutely no problem taking them. They are a part of my contract. I also get vacation days and PTO hours, and I have no problem using them.

Some of my coworkers feel guilty any time they want to use a vacation day or leave the building for lunch, and I just don't get it.