Well, this isn't so much a confession, more of a realization. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3 months now, and have known her for about 6 months. So far, everything about her has lead me to believe that she is "the one." We have an amazing connection, she's not clingy or possessive but still makes it very clear how she feels about me. She actually wanted to go see Star Trek with me, and it was actually her idea for us to go see it a second time. She is into cars, she appreciates my passion for art and gives me her full support in the endeavors I choose to take on. I very much love her and can completely see myself starting a family with her some day.
There is, however, one aspect of her that is troubling me. She seems very much addicted to shopping, particularly when it comes to makeup. If MAC is having a sale, or is pushing some new "limited edition" line, she's there and most likely leaves with something. It's the same with clothes, too. The worst part of it, is she does all of this using credit.
I knew she was a little intense about the makeup before, but she really brought it to my attention tonight when she asked me to stop her if I ever see her using her Macy's card. Apparently, she got the bill today, and it's nearly maxed out. When I asked what "maxed out" meant in terms of dollars, she's racked up a total just south of $4000. She has a couple other cards totaling around $2000, for a grand total of $6000 she owes.
That might not be bad if she was making a good salary, maybe a solid $60k a year or something like that...but she's only working part time at a retail store making about $9 an hour. What is worse...that grand total was half of what it is now just a few months ago. She's basically spending twice what she makes a month. To make matters even worse, she's been paying other credit card bills with this credit card...essentially digging one hole in order to fill up another.
If I were a less caring guy or less invested in my relationship with her, I'd probably just say "Whatever, its your money, your problem" However, I do care for her very much, so any problem she has is ultimately my problem as well. I'm not saying I'm going to pay her bills for her...because I too am only working a retail job right now and have my own credit cards to pay off...but I still know I need to help her out.
I've already told her to stop using the cards right away. I suggested cutting up all but one, and using one with the lowest interest rate as an emergency card, and to only use that for true emergencies (new car battery, towing, tire repair, ER bills, etc). She doesn't want to cut them up, so I told her she can give them to me, and I can more or less hold them hostage. That way at least the amount she owes won't get too much bigger...except for the fact that each card is accruing interest each month.
That's all I can think of doing for her at this point. I wish her parents had been better at teaching her how to manage her finances better and not seeing credit cards as "magic pieces of plastic that give you things" but I fear that's how she sees them. It's tough for me to realize this, because otherwise she's very intelligent. I still love her, of course, but it is just a bit of a disappointment. It also worries me when it comes to our future...if we both end up having careers and a joined bank account, would I be worried that she'd blow through a ton of our money in the way she's going through her own now?
Anyway, thanks for reading, and any thought or suggestions that may help would be greatly appreciated.
There is, however, one aspect of her that is troubling me. She seems very much addicted to shopping, particularly when it comes to makeup. If MAC is having a sale, or is pushing some new "limited edition" line, she's there and most likely leaves with something. It's the same with clothes, too. The worst part of it, is she does all of this using credit.
I knew she was a little intense about the makeup before, but she really brought it to my attention tonight when she asked me to stop her if I ever see her using her Macy's card. Apparently, she got the bill today, and it's nearly maxed out. When I asked what "maxed out" meant in terms of dollars, she's racked up a total just south of $4000. She has a couple other cards totaling around $2000, for a grand total of $6000 she owes.
That might not be bad if she was making a good salary, maybe a solid $60k a year or something like that...but she's only working part time at a retail store making about $9 an hour. What is worse...that grand total was half of what it is now just a few months ago. She's basically spending twice what she makes a month. To make matters even worse, she's been paying other credit card bills with this credit card...essentially digging one hole in order to fill up another.
If I were a less caring guy or less invested in my relationship with her, I'd probably just say "Whatever, its your money, your problem" However, I do care for her very much, so any problem she has is ultimately my problem as well. I'm not saying I'm going to pay her bills for her...because I too am only working a retail job right now and have my own credit cards to pay off...but I still know I need to help her out.
I've already told her to stop using the cards right away. I suggested cutting up all but one, and using one with the lowest interest rate as an emergency card, and to only use that for true emergencies (new car battery, towing, tire repair, ER bills, etc). She doesn't want to cut them up, so I told her she can give them to me, and I can more or less hold them hostage. That way at least the amount she owes won't get too much bigger...except for the fact that each card is accruing interest each month.
That's all I can think of doing for her at this point. I wish her parents had been better at teaching her how to manage her finances better and not seeing credit cards as "magic pieces of plastic that give you things" but I fear that's how she sees them. It's tough for me to realize this, because otherwise she's very intelligent. I still love her, of course, but it is just a bit of a disappointment. It also worries me when it comes to our future...if we both end up having careers and a joined bank account, would I be worried that she'd blow through a ton of our money in the way she's going through her own now?
Anyway, thanks for reading, and any thought or suggestions that may help would be greatly appreciated.
