Thanks. 
CONFESSIONAL thread (ANONYMOUS so tell us the juicy stuff!)
- Thread starter Holdfast
- Start date
It'll probably always hurt, no matter how irrational. But I've always admired your strength, and the way you've looked after your youngest sister especially. And the fact that even though you've seen some bad things in people, you haven't turned out hopelessly cynical. You're just a really good guy. But you already knew that I thought that.
It'll probably always hurt, no matter how irrational. But I've always admired your strength, and the way you've looked after your youngest sister especially. And the fact that even though you've seen some bad things in people, you haven't turned out hopelessly cynical. You're just a really good guy. But you already knew that I thought that.
Aww, shucks. Thank you.
Well, for what it's worth, you shouldn't.
You can't control someone else's addiction. From my experience, if he's going to change, and salvage what's left of his life, he's going to have to want to do it himself, and want it more strongly than he wants booze.
He may well die before he reaches that point--but until he does reach that point, there's nothing you can do. It's not in your power to change someone else's heart--and as the ancient Stoics argued, if it's not in your power, it's not your responsibility. You shouldn't blame yourself for not changing something you can't change.
And once again, in my experience, the only way to get off your own back is to keep reminding yourself of that fact.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
^ Sometimes the best way to help them is not to help them at all. It may be hard to hear and even more so to practice but most people in this situation have to come to terms with the addiction on their own. If you keep picking them up over and over again, they might never get the chance to face the choices they have made. 
(I have been there myself and I wish there was a way I could be more helpful.)
And I just have to ask, has anyone gotten any "Love PM's" yet? I am nosy as hell and can't help but be curious! Any juicy bits will do! (Hopefully it wasn't me and I scared them off with my rantings about my previous experiences.
)
(I have been there myself and I wish there was a way I could be more helpful.)And I just have to ask, has anyone gotten any "Love PM's" yet? I am nosy as hell and can't help but be curious! Any juicy bits will do! (Hopefully it wasn't me and I scared them off with my rantings about my previous experiences.
)
Well, the man said so himself, this confessional thread is quite cathartic. I can relate to your experience somewhat, Locutus, and it was my older brother who suffered from drug addiction. He was constantly in between jobs and always hung out with the wrong crowd. asian-American families have a strong family bond, and it was especially hard on my dad who always seemed to bail him out and give him money; all he did was enable my brother. Later my bro ended up in jail (twice); when he got out, he really clened up his act, has been drug-free, has become more family-oriented, and now has a full-time job.
People can change, but people have to help themselves before others can help them.
People can change, but people have to help themselves before others can help them.
But ... but ... what happened to girls and their, "I love your mind" shtick?
Posts should be enough!
^ Yeah, haven't any of you guys read the new purchases thread lately? The written word is as good as / better than porn for women... They think with their, erm... brain! 
This big guy says it best:^ Yeah, haven't any of you guys read the new purchases thread lately? The written word is as good as / better than porn for women... They think with their, erm... brain!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toRqtdBof7U
Shame it's never worked for me.
I can't imagine why it wouldn't work...
No, it doesn't. It's amazing. After all that he's done to you and your family and himself, you can still feel compassion for him; this is exactly the sort of thing that inspired me to start my "How Are You?" Thread.
I confess that I feel like I have something to confess, but I can't remember what it is... so either it's so bad my mind has blocked it out, or so good the alcohol has greyed out most of it...
Good old alcohol can coax it back into existence...
Sounds like somewhere to quote the eternal wisdom of Homer Simpson...Good old alcohol can coax it back into existence...
Kicking this back to life a bit. First considered sending this in the anonymous e-mail, but decided that I'm not really ashamed of it, it's just an observation on my part. Here goes:
I watch porn as other guys do, but I tend to try and find porn with porn stars that resemble women I'm attracted to. And I don't mean like same hair color but I mean like try to find ones that are as close physically and attitude wise as I can find. Then of course the whole thing takes one another level when you take into account the fact that I tend to watch porn with two or more guys going at one girl at once more then I tend to watch "vanilla" porn.
I watch porn as other guys do, but I tend to try and find porn with porn stars that resemble women I'm attracted to. And I don't mean like same hair color but I mean like try to find ones that are as close physically and attitude wise as I can find. Then of course the whole thing takes one another level when you take into account the fact that I tend to watch porn with two or more guys going at one girl at once more then I tend to watch "vanilla" porn.
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