I think Vulcans were supposed to be like an ideal for humans to look up to.
The Vulcans were complete assholes. Every one of them. Nothing about
being Vulcan was portrayed as ideal.
You are free to interpret vulcans however you want. It's obvious that Deep Space 9 would later interpret them as arrogant jerks, just as you're interpreting them. But I'm convinced Gene Roddenberry meant for them to be an ideal. (note that everything I talk about, I'm referring to TOS and not the later series. My reasoning is that Roddenberry had the most connection to TOS)
It's kind of a tradition in fantasy and sci-fi series to have a species or race that is the author's ideal for humanity. For instance, I think the elves were that for J.R.R Tolkein. The key give-away that you're looking at a species that is supposed to be emulated is that they are either immortal or have an extended life-span. This is a symbol for being especially wise. It's also a demonstration that the species in question already has that for which humans yearn.
Now, again, you are free to interpret vulcans as being arrogant jerks if that's how you see them. But there is a mountain of evidence that vulcans were
meant to be interpreted as the ultimate good guys.
If this were supposed to be a disliked species, they would fall under a minimum of one of the following three categories: weak, stupid, and/or uncompassionate.
Since Star Trek is such a didactic show and most episodes have a moral lesson, the villains tend to fall under the uncompassionate category. However, if you read other fantasy stuff, if the writer really cares about strength, then all of the villains will be weak. If the writer really cares about intelligence, then all of the villains will be stupid, and so on.
Vulcans are the ultimate in compassion and thus demonstrate Roddenberry's ethical ideal. One symbol of the vulcans' compassion is their mind-melding ability which allows them to
literally feel another being's pain. It's been demonstrated on multiple occasions that vulcans will not hesitate to offer their lives for the benefit of others (e.g. TWOK, "Operation Annihilate!" "The Apple" "Journey to Babel" "The Galileo 7"). It's always Spock, not Kirk, who first concerns himself with the ethical problems of harming a newly encountered species and asks Kirk to learn more about a situation before causing any degree of harm (e.g. the horta in Devil in the Dark, the gorn in Arena. He's even concerned about moving the whales in TVH). It should also be noted that vulcans are very reluctant to use violence and that it's been well-established that they are vegetarians.The ideal in Star Trek is ethics, and vulcans' demonstration of this ideal is evidence that they are to be an emulated species.
Though most species in Star Trek are smart and strong, vulcans are
especially intelligent (apparently capable of doing advanced math in their heads) and
especially strong (in tos it wasn't stated how much stronger they are than humans, but it is well established that they could quickly and efficiently kill if they were so inclined, though of course they rarely are). This is further evidence that vulcans are a perfect example of an ideal species.
The vulcans' only real demonstrated weaknesses are pride and a failure to rely on intuition when logic fails them. McCoy seems to be there to teach Spock humility, and Kirk seems to be there to teach Spock about the value of intuition. Though Spock would always have some vulcan arrogance, you can see later in the movies that this arrogance never interferes with his logic. Spock is quick to offer Kirk command of the ship that Spock is captain of in The Wrath of Khan when Spock thinks that Kirk is the more experienced choice. And Spock, in later episodes of the series, shows that he learns to trust and value Kirk's intuition.
So, we see multiple examples of vulcans fitting the definition of the author's ideals for humanity, and we see very few examples of real weakness. Seems like an admirable species to me!