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Come up with some really bad remake/reboot ideas!

CD25 - Christmas Day

After the critical and box office disappointment of Independence Day: Resurgence, this Independence Day reimagining has the aliens attacking Earth on Christmas. In a twist, the scientist character David Levinson (Jai Courtney) and Captain Steven Hiller (Michael B. Jordan) fly to the alien mothership and sing Christmas carols instead of uploading a computer virus.
 
Independence Day III - The Revolt
The rest of the world tells the USA, its your day, so you do the fighting!
 
Star Trek: The Slam Bang Action Adventure

This Star Trek: The Motion Picture reboot stars the cast from the acclaimed JJ Abrams (JJ Abrahams for all you Star Trek nerds out there! :p ) reboot. Admiral James T. Kirk is forced out of retirement when V'Ger, a Russian space probe commanded by Khan Noonien Signh (Benedict Cumberbatch) reappears after 300 years to influence the Federation Presidential Election. Luckily for Admiral Kirk and his exemplary crew, they have the newly refit U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-Q at their disposal (if you don't know what happened to the Enterprises-A thru P, you obviously didn't watch the fourth Kelvin-verse movie). From a script by Damon Lindelof & Akiva Goldsman & Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci with fight choreography by Jet Li and Yuen Woo-ping. Also starring:

as Captain Willard Decker - Mark Wahlberg
and Lt. Ilia - Megan Fox
 
I first wrote this in 2004 or so (I forget the actual timing):

A few years ago, Universal Studios came out with an updated reimagining of Battlestar Galactica, having given creative control to Ron Moore.

When it was first announced, I came up with the following casting and story decisions to demonstrate how bad an idea I thought this to be, using Star Trek as the vehicle.

Thus, What If Paramount Pictures had refused to allow Gene Roddenberry to make ST:TMP, and instead had waited until the mid-late ‘80s to bring back Star Trek, this time with a hip new cast and retelling some of the classic episodes with hip new plot twists?

We would get something like this:

Main Cast:

Kirk - Bruce Willis

Spock - Jeff Goldblum (not actually a bad idea)

McCoy - Barbara Bosson (in a progressive twist on gender casting)

Sulu - John Lone (I worried how the public would respond to a gay asian man playing the chief helmsman; I shouldn’t have bothered)

Chekov - John Stamos

Uhura - Alfre Woodard (also not actually a bad idea)

Scotty - Billy Connolly (he’s Scottish, Scotty’s Scottish; never mind)

Chapel - Roxanne Hart

Rand - Heather Locklear

Prominent Guests would include:

Kor - Roger Moore

Koloth - Pierce Brosnan

Korax - Mr. T (for a little variety/difference in racial backgrounds)

Kang - Mel Gibson

Khan - Arnold Schwarzenegger (you know how this one will turn out)

And finally, in an adaptation of Harlan Ellison’s original script for “City on the Edge of Forever”:

Edith Keeler - Jane Seymour

If anyone has read Ellison’s script, they should be able to recognize that, for a television script, it makes a great short story. It is better written than the script we all know and love, but so much of the climax takes place inside Kirk’s brain that no actor would be able to portray it in action and make Kirk look like anything other than a gutless pansy.
 
I have a terrible idea for a Star Trek movie.

The crew is older, it'll be a send-off picture, but nothing will really happen.

The captain will be cloned by an off shoot of a popular alien race (and the popular alien race will not get it's own The Undiscovered Country send off and be rarely seen), there will be lame logic behind it all with plot holes so big Ted Kennedy, Chris Christie and Shamoo could fit through it. There will be little to no character development except a forced wedding.

Instead of leaving things as they are, as a send off, I'll needlessly kill off a main character in a stupid battle scene and then replace the character with a look-alike that just has a different name, also pointlessly.

It'll be directed by somebody who doesn't know Trek and primarily written by somebody who doesn't know Trek.

I think I'll call it "Star Trek: Nemesis".
 
This isn't bad but maybe an all female Ghostbusters movie in the vein of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
 
A Muppet Babies take on the Superhero genre, this time with toddler versions of superheroes living under one roof. Wait, that'd be awesome...
 
Bullitt- the TV series.
Every week, a remake of the film would be run, but with a different car. One week, Ford would be the sponsor, so the McQueen actor would drive a Ford. Next week, Audi would be the sponsor, so he would drive an Audi. Same story every single week, just a different car. This way, all the car companies get to showcase their product in the most spectacular way possible.
The fail comes when Fiat runs a 500, and don't even mention Smart.
 
How about "Schindler's List: The musical." Staring Lea Michele, Hugh Jackman and Jack Black.

Jason
 
Transformers anything. Transformers, anything at all. Any iteration, interpretation, update, reboot, of anything having to do with Transformers. As Luke Skywalker said: "It's time for the Transfomers franchise... to end."

csi2Bmiami2Byeah2B2528net2529_zps21db64ef.jpg
 
"The Jetsons"


A live-action film starring Will Ferral as George Jetson and Tina Fay as Jane the wife.

Written by the writers of the terrible U.S. series "the Office". Directed by Michael Bay. Filmed entirely with shaky cam. Scored by Steven Price.


Fucking awful if you ask me.
 
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