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Come up with some really bad remake/reboot ideas!

Jayson1

Fleet Admiral
Admiral
Just for fun and chance to be creative. I will start with 3

1 "Weekend at Bernie's part 3" It's now been about 40 years and the guys are STILL dragging around Bernie ,the dead guy, around getting into wacky adventues and misunderstadings. Only this time it's not just men who get to have fun. The guys meet 2 hot woman who are dragging around a dead woman but the twist is they don't know the woman have a dead woman with them and the woman don't know the guys have a dead guy with them. This naturally leads to a great and funny dating scene were Bernie and the dead woman have a date with each other and a romance scene but of course it's a PG-13 romance scene so things don't go to wild.
2 "Steel 2" Turns out the problem was something unexpected such as casting Shaq as a superhero. What it really needed was a more nuanced basketball player/turned actor like Denis Rodman for the role.
3 A remake of "My Dinner with Andre" for the Disney channel. It will focus on 2 grade school students who share a lunch at the school cafeteria each episode. Both are of course writers for the school newspaper and they will talk about their lives, things going on at school and of course you got to have the scene were one of them talks about not wanking to give up his electric blankey.

Jason
 
I'm not sure I can do better than the people actually making movies in this department.

Au Hasard Garfield

The tale of a fat orange cat, abandoned by his owners in the middle of the city, learning the true hardship and loneliness of being a stray. He gets trapped in an alley by some teenagers who throw firecrackers at him. He gets brought into a shelter and gets adopted in the nick of time before he was going to be put down, and he thinks he's returning to grace, but ends up getting horribly neglected and abused. He gets bit by a raccoon in a dumpster and slowly loses his mind to rabies, and dies cold and alone.

Actually, now that I think about it that idea could probably win Cannes.
 
Make the cat with CGI and toss in a catchy song the kids will like and you just earned yourself a few millions of dollars.

Jason
 
Make the cat with CGI and toss in a catchy song the kids will like and you just earned yourself a few millions of dollars.

Jason

No CGI. Real cat. Black and white with spot coloring for the cat.

And lots of random humans who walk by are played by the same actor as Jon Arbuckle who abandons him at the beginning, because that's how he sees them, potential owners to give him back the thing that he has lost forever. He follows these people and loses them in the crowd, and this leads him into even worse situations.
 
No CGI. Real cat. Black and white with spot coloring for the cat.

And lots of random humans who walk by are played by the same actor as Jon Arbuckle who abandons him at the beginning, because that's how he sees them, potential owners to give him back the thing that he has lost forever. He follows these people and loses them in the crowd, and this leads him into even worse situations.

Come on! You got to sell out and go with CGI! Everything else about your vision can be respected but we got to justify your 300 billion dollar budget.
Also while it's your vision what if your vision had Kendall Jenner instead of Jon Arbuckle. She could bring alot of people in just to she if she can rebound from the Pepsi commerical. One other small change is what if the cat was instead a monkey?

Jason
 
A wacky comedy version of The Incredible Shrinking Man.

Oh, wait, that was actually in development several years ago . . . :)

(Thankfully, it never made it to the screen.)
 
I'm not sure I can do better than the people actually making movies in this department.

Au Hasard Garfield

The tale of a fat orange cat, abandoned by his owners in the middle of the city, learning the true hardship and loneliness of being a stray. He gets trapped in an alley by some teenagers who throw firecrackers at him. He gets brought into a shelter and gets adopted in the nick of time before he was going to be put down, and he thinks he's returning to grace, but ends up getting horribly neglected and abused. He gets bit by a raccoon in a dumpster and slowly loses his mind to rabies, and dies cold and alone.

Actually, now that I think about it that idea could probably win Cannes.

Come on! You got to sell out and go with CGI! Everything else about your vision can be respected but we got to justify your 300 billion dollar budget.
Also while it's your vision what if your vision had Kendall Jenner instead of Jon Arbuckle. She could bring alot of people in just to she if she can rebound from the Pepsi commerical. One other small change is what if the cat was instead a monkey?

Jason

If you're going to impress Cannes, the movie needs to be in B&W, possibly with sub-titles.
 
Got another one:
A remake of "Alf" only now he is president of America. He takes on every world problem with wisecracks and bad puns. His first lady will be Minka Kelly and his chief of staff will be played by David Cross who is secretly part of a illumanti style group that wants to kill all aliens from Mel Mak because it turns out that years ago they killed all the dinasaurs so they could create a form of evolution that would produce cats they could eat and humans ended up also being created by accident. This group fears what else they might do to the planet.

Jason
 
If you're going to impress Cannes, the movie needs to be in B&W, possibly with sub-titles.

The part at the start where Garfield has a home is in color, the parts on the street are black and white. All the Jon Arbuckles are spot colored until it's clear he hasn't found another home when they become black and white again. There are five minute tracking shots of Garfield walking down crowded city streets.
 
A remake of the classic Universal Monster Movie The Mummy, but as a Tom Cruise action movie.

Nah...no one would go see that.
 
Firefly: The Movie Where Everyone Just Stands Around Making Wisecracks Which Is All Anyone Ever Does In The Whedonverse Anyway

Alien: Something Different Than Just A Bunch Of Stupid People Running Around Being Picked Off By The Damn Xenos

X: The Man With The X-Ray Nose

Alien Vs. Predator Vs. Barney

Nursing Homes Of The Living Dead

Freddy & Jason & Ted & Alice
 
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