Point taken. Let us not belabor it.He's still a doofus
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
- Thread starter Danoz
- Start date
well fine, if we're going to cheat and post more than once, here are a couple more of my favorites:
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
there, that should tide us over for a few...
Haha. This was a great idea, because I haven't any of those before this.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
It was illogical of me to keep coming back on 4 separate occasions when I thought up 4 of my own Chuck Norris sayings right there and then. By the time I'd come back later I'd have forgotten them.
That's why it was OK for me to break the rules (so I would not forget my own Chuck Norris sayings) whereas you are simply posting several Chuck Norris sayings of someone else's creation and not your own and would therefore not forget them.
Therefore you must now be punished for breaking the rules.
Lets send Chuck Norris around to- oh he's already killed him.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Lucifer once broke out of hell to start Armageddon but when he saw Chuck Norris waiting for him he locked himself back in hell and threw away the key.
France surrendered to America after seeing a Chuck Norris movie marathon.
chuck norris has a toenail on the end of his penis
Well, the first rule was "you can only post one", so not sure where you think the high ground is there...
Not against the rules, and even comes out and says that's fine. Plus, mine were funny. The OP even thanked me for posting them.
You're just lucky Chuck Norris isn't the judge in this little game, or you'd find yourself Roundhouse kicked already!
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
^ My point is that sometimes there is good reason to 'bend the rules' and I had good reason to, you didn't. You must be punished.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
If there is any problem a roundhouse kick can't solve, Chuck Norris hasn't found it.
^Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
And again, while I'm at it (I know, Tacky, punish me!):
-Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won, by 5.
-Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
-Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle: you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
-Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
And again, while I'm at it (I know, Tacky, punish me!):
-Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won, by 5.
-Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
-Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle: you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
-Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Norris -- 1967 defeated Joe Lewis
Davros - in grade school beat up by girl
Norris -- Invented discipline of 'chun kuk do'
Davros - invent all black rubik's cube
Norris -- writes for 'world net daily'
Davros - writes in trek bbs
Norris -- multimillionare
Davros - bums money from girls at conventions
Norris -- married to uber-babe Gena O'Kelly
Davros - hit on girls at conventions
Norris -- believe's in God
Davros - believe's Obama has actual birth certificate
.
^^ Davros wins.
Being in a stinking piece of crap like Walker, Texas Ranger eliminates anything positive Chuck Norris ever did in the world and ever will.
He could cure cancer with his beard trimmings, and he'd still be going to Hell. God hates shitty TV.
Joe, right hand of the Father
Being in a stinking piece of crap like Walker, Texas Ranger eliminates anything positive Chuck Norris ever did in the world and ever will.
He could cure cancer with his beard trimmings, and he'd still be going to Hell. God hates shitty TV.
Joe, right hand of the Father
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