Chuck Norris is such a bad actor that Keanu Reeves changes the channel whenever Chuck is on the tube.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
- Thread starter Danoz
- Start date
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubiks cube and crap it out solved.
Chuck Norris walked away, and Bruce Lee dropped too the ground.
Because Chuck Norris is just that much of a man!
That's right, kill him and YOU die.
.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Chuck Norris once did a sky dive in Argentina, punched his way through the Earth and parachuted down over China.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Chuck Norris is so awesome he went to bed and dreamt of a whole universe and it became real. When he wakes up though we're all screwed.
I get the spirit of the thread. I'm just being contrary. After all Norris is a doofus.
What do you get when you cross Davros and Chuck Norris?
A dead Davros. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
When Chuck Norris performs a round house kick against a guy, if you record it and put it into slow motion you realise Chuck Norris doesn't just perform a round house kick. Chuck Norris goes to McDonalds, comes back with a Big Mac meal, eats it, reads a book, listens to some tunes on his mp3 player, phones his wife and THEN round house kicks the guy.
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Chuck Norris once threw a stone into the ocean and caused a mega Tsunami.
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Chuck Norris once farted and broke the world long jump record.
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Chuck Norris once ran so fast the Earth started spinning in the wrong direction.
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Chuck Norris once threw a stone into the ocean and caused a mega Tsunami.
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Chuck Norris once farted and broke the world long jump record.
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Chuck Norris once ran so fast the Earth started spinning in the wrong direction.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
He's still a doofus
Haha fantastic.
He's actually a really good spirited guy... I hate it when people demonize a good person for his/her political and religious views.
well fine, if we're going to cheat and post more than once, here are a couple more of my favorites:
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
there, that should tide us over for a few...
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
there, that should tide us over for a few...
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