Choking on absolutely nothing.

[Spaceman Spiff]

You're sitting there, minding your own business, watching TV, surfing the Web, banning people on a bulletin board site....

All of a sudden, you fall into spasmodic fits of coughing, even though you're not eating or drinking anything. Your body thinks it's time to shake things up, so it decides to make you look like you're having a seizure.

Several wheezing, eye-watering minutes later, everything's back to normal. Then your significant other says, "You okay, there?"

...

Thirty-five years on this Earth, and you think I'd have mastered something as simple as being at rest. But oh, no.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this freakish experience.

 

[RoJoHen]

For some reason, this only happens to me when I'm getting a haircut.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Oh God, that'd be even worse.

Or at a wedding.

 

[RoJoHen]

Oh God, that'd be even worse.

Yeah, it ain't good. Usually I just grind my teeth and suffer through the whole thing without coughing. It usually results in my face turning red and my eyes watering. But it's better than the barber accidentally chopping off the wrong chunk of hair!

 

[Holdfast]

All of a sudden, you fall into spasmodic fits of coughing, even though you're not eating or drinking anything.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this freakish experience.

You know that old Superman/Wonder Woman/Invisible Man joke? Yeah, well, you just got Super-Gagged.

Sorry to break the bad news to you.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I know that when you see the phrase "absolutely nothing," your mind goes right to your groin, but do try to refrain.

 

[RoJoHen]

Oh, snap.

 

[auntiehill]

You're not choking on nothing. You're choking on your own spit.

Which, come to think of it, is something you probably should have mastered in late infancy. So, maybe saying 'choking on nothing' actually sounds better.

 

[sidious618]

Sometimes I swallow the wrong way and this happens.

Edit: I just reread my post and I know I just set myself up for a blowjob joke.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

You're not choking on nothing. You're choking on your own spit.

Which, come to think of it, is something you probably should have mastered in late infancy. So, maybe saying 'choking on nothing' actually sounds better.

I still consider myself in late infancy, so that makes me feel a little better.

 

[RoJoHen]

I still consider myself in late infancy, so that makes me feel a little better.

One of these days you're gonna need to trade in your diaper for a pair of big boy pants.

 

[Lindley]

I know that when you see the phrase "absolutely nothing," your mind goes right to your groin, but do try to refrain.

And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!

 

[Dream]

Did you see these two men standing around you when this happened by any chance?

 

[Holdfast]

^ WTF? Are you trying to give me nightmares? Where's that from?

I know that when you see the phrase "absolutely nothing," your mind goes right to your groin, but do try to refrain.

You sound bitter.

Next time, ask Supes to have a Hawaiian pizza first. That'll keep him sweet for you.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Don't you have something better to do, like rub Proactive on Trekker's taint?

 

[RoJoHen]

*shudders*

*gags*

*shudders again*

 

[sidious618]

Now Spiff made me gag.

Wait, that doesn't sound good either.

 

[CorporalClegg]

I thought it was just the old guy down the street who did that.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

You're not choking on nothing. You're choking on your own spit.

Which, come to think of it, is something you probably should have mastered in late infancy. So, maybe saying 'choking on nothing' actually sounds better.

Speaking from experience, I wholeheartedly endorse this assessment and/or comment.

Sometimes I swallow the wrong way and this happens.

Edit: I just reread my post and I know I just set myself up for a blowjob joke.

Heh. There are many things that are hard to swallow in life...

*shudders*

*gags*

*shudders again*

You know you don't actually have to describe what sidious was on about...

 

[RoJoHen]

Sometimes I swallow the wrong way and this happens.

Edit: I just reread my post and I know I just set myself up for a blowjob joke.

Heh. There are many things that are hard to swallow in life...

*shudders*

*gags*

*shudders again*

You know you don't actually have to describe what sidious was on about...

Just trying to paint a picture in your head.