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Challenge Entry - O'Brien and Mrs Mills

USS Fardell

Fleet Captain
Fleet Captain
This is all that I have managed to write so far on this, so here it is.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: O'Brien and Mrs Mills (A TrekBBS June '08 Challenge fanfiction)
25 May 2375
Aberdeen, Autonomous Kingdom of Scotland, United Kingdom of Great Britain,
United Earth, United Federation of Planets

In a house in the midst of a 20th century vintage suburb of Aberdeen, a young lady was playing with her child. Then she got distracted, as she suddenly thought of a new mathematical proof and began to write it down...




Stardate 52410.7 (31 May 2375)
Deep Space Nine
Quarks Bar. A place of assorted activities. From holosuites, to dining facilities, to Dabo wheels, Quark had it all that a Ferengi barkeeper wanted in his establishment. But most of all it had a Dart Board, where 2 Humans (or Hew-Mons as most Ferengi put it) were currently playing.


Doctor Bashir had won a round, and Miles O'Brien was about to start another, when a message came over the comm system. “Chief O'Brien, report to Ops” Colonel Kira Nerys said. O'Brien sighed and tapped his comm badge.
“I am on my way Colonel” he said.


O'Brien arrived at Ops 5 minutes later.
“O'Brien reporting” He said. Captain Sisko stepped over.
“You have been called to Earth, something has come up” he said.
“What has come up?” O'Brien asked.
“Your sister has come up with a new Mathematical Proof that Starfleet is interested in. However she won't allow them to be involved with it” Sisko said.
“She can be stubborn, she never liked Starfleet, and its role in the Federation” O'Brien said.
“Starfleet Command, has strongly suggested that you return to Earth to talk to her, so that she can 'see sense' as they put it. They feel that the Proof can possibly turn the tide of the war.” Sisko said.
“If it is that important, I will start packing immediately sir” O'Brien said. He wasn't relishing the fact that he was going to visit his sister, who he had not seen in years, due to the fact that she had thought up something that Starfleet wanted badly...
“The Defiant will be departing for Earth at 21:00 hours Chief” Sisko said.
“I will be on it, though Keiko won't be happy that I was called away at such short notice” O'Brien said.
“I know how you feel Chief” Sisko said, with a distant look in his eyes.


USS Defiant NX 74204
O'Brien entered the bridge. “Are you ready to depart Chief” Worf asked from the command chair.
“Yes, the ship is ready to depart” O'Brien said.
“Very good Chief” Worf said. He then issued commands to depart Deep Space Nine and to set a course for Earth.




Stardate 52430.5 (6 June 2375)
USS Defiant NX 74204
The ship had arrived in orbit around Earth, and O'Brien was ready to beam down to his sister's house. “Be ready to beam us up if I call” O'Brien said.
“We will be ready” Worf said. He thought that all this was running around... He also knew that O'Brien was apprehensive about meeting his sister for some reason...


Aberdeen
Miles O'Brien knocks on the door, holding a bunch of flowers that he had replicated before going to the transporter room. The door opens, it is his sister.
“Hi” Miles says.
“Hi!” his sister, Joanne, says, shocked.
“Long time no see” Miles says.
“To say the least!” Joanne says.


There is then a rather long uncomfortable pause.


“Aren't you going to invite me in?”Miles says.
“Why are you here?” Joanne asks.
“What, I can't just stop by and say hello to my younger sister?” Miles asks.
“We haven't spoken in about 5 years, and you have never done anything like this, so, no you cannot” Joanne said.
“I have been busy, on a space station on the edge of known space, and then in a war zone, so...” Miles said, he didn't know what else to say.


To be continued. (In a non-challenge entry obviously)





I was going to write more, but Miles Edward O'Brien is nothing like Meredith Rodney McKay, it is difficult to change the dialogue accordingly. (And of course the situation on the former Cardassian station doesn't equate to the situation on the formerly Alteran/Lantian City either...)
 
I know that I chose this challenge topic but I have to admit I'm completely useless in figuring out what most of these stories are based on.

Having said that the idea was to create fascinating stories, no more, no less. You have the beginning of one here but sadly didn't get a chance to follow through. You still have a few hours to conclude this if you want to try.
 
I think you hit the nail on the head CJ with your assessment. You definitely set up an interesting premise, but I don't think it's served by the trying to fit it within the challenge's parameters.

Wouldn't mind seeing this as a DS9 or Eagle story, perhaps replacing the Defiant with the Eagle or something. Nice set up though.
 
I think the problem was archetypes. You are trying to fit a nice guy into a pinhead bastard's role. I think the story attempt is cool-but the character choice is difficult to fit. Now, the Doctor from Voyager or Malcolm from Enterprise might have fit the part more-sadly, there aren't many acerbic characters in ST to choose from-and Rodney is VERY acerbic. I'd still like to see where you take this, though.
 
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