Hail Shatner! Hail Shatner! Hail Shatner!
The words echoed off the marble floors and wrapped themselves around the staid columns of the ancient Curia. As the senators called out their chorus of approval, Julius Shatner received their ovation at the center of the senate floor – his arms lifted high in triumph.
They finally grew quiet as Shatner gestured his desire to speak. “With the deepest of humility, I graciously accept this honor given to me today and I swear to uphold that most venerable of titles which you have bestowed upon me… Kirk for life!” The applause was again thunderous as he moved around the senate chambers accepting their tribute – truly a god among men.
The senators seemed genuinely pleased, for he had done so much for them over the years. He had been there in the beginning and had weathered the toughest of times for the Empire. He had forged their greatness by expanding their borders further than anyone had ever dared before. He had given his very blood for the cause and the people were most grateful in return.
But no sooner had the accolades been heralded than the whispers began in the dark corners of the senate chambers. Senators Abramus, Orkey, and Kurtzmanus gathered closely as the jubilation continued around them. “Kirk for life?” Abramus wondered. “This has gone on far enough. Who does this tyrant think he is?”
“He has grown very powerful, very dangerous,” Orkey confirmed. “We must move quickly if we are to shape the Empire the way we best see fit.”
“Yes, but how?” Kurtzmanus asked. “How do we dispose of someone so loved by the people?”
“It must be done delicately,” Abramus said. “We can not simply denounce him or the populace will revolt against us. We must be clever. We shall use those closest to him to deliver the fatal blow.”
Days later, Julius Shatner was walking through the forum with his nephew and sole heir, Piney the Younger. “Soon Piney, this will all belong to you. And I shall be happy to be there to announce your ascension as the new Kirkus.”
“Although I am not worthy of such a distinction yet, my Shatner, I will endeavor to Kirk in your name and honor. But come now, Uncle, another proclamation awaits you in the Senate.”
Arriving at the steps of the Curia, Julius Shatner was surprised to see a gathering of senators blocking the entrance. “What’s this, Senator Abramus? Why do you prevent me from entering? Am I not to be honored here today? It would certainly seem a bad business decision not to.”
Abramus flashed his teeth. “Oh, don’t worry, my Shatner, you’re going to get what’s coming to you.” He waited for them to close around the Kirkus and then yelled, “Now!”
Within a flash, Julius Shatner felt a deep stabbing in his back. Mortally wounded, he turned and looked incredulously at the conniving senators. Then his eyes fell on a sight he could not fathom. His mouth was barely able to form the words, “Et tu, Nimonius?” For there, standing with the conspirators, with a blood-soaked script in his hands, was his dearest old friend. A callously raised eyebrow was Nimonius’s only response to Shatner’s last gasp.
Abramus, Orkey and Kurtzmanus were satisfied with the death of the Kirk. After all there was nothing they could do about it now – it was canon for God’s sake. They soon turned their attention to Piney, the newly crowned Kirkus. “We shall mold him in our image, agreed the senators. “He shall be our vision for the future.”
But as they met Piney on the set of the Empire, they found things had gone horribly awry. Piney had become more of a Prima Dona than his uncle ever had been. He was demanding, temperamental and given to fits that soon alienated his gathered legions.
Abramus confronted the young Kirkus. “But we made you who you are; we put you in this position. How could you do this to us?”
“It is my world now, Abramus. I’ve tasted the power; I’ve sat in the chair. It runs through my vains. I am the Kirk.”
“But, Piney…”
‘Don’t call me that! I… am a god now! I am… immortal now! I… am… Shatner!”
The words echoed off the marble floors and wrapped themselves around the staid columns of the ancient Curia. As the senators called out their chorus of approval, Julius Shatner received their ovation at the center of the senate floor – his arms lifted high in triumph.
They finally grew quiet as Shatner gestured his desire to speak. “With the deepest of humility, I graciously accept this honor given to me today and I swear to uphold that most venerable of titles which you have bestowed upon me… Kirk for life!” The applause was again thunderous as he moved around the senate chambers accepting their tribute – truly a god among men.
The senators seemed genuinely pleased, for he had done so much for them over the years. He had been there in the beginning and had weathered the toughest of times for the Empire. He had forged their greatness by expanding their borders further than anyone had ever dared before. He had given his very blood for the cause and the people were most grateful in return.
But no sooner had the accolades been heralded than the whispers began in the dark corners of the senate chambers. Senators Abramus, Orkey, and Kurtzmanus gathered closely as the jubilation continued around them. “Kirk for life?” Abramus wondered. “This has gone on far enough. Who does this tyrant think he is?”
“He has grown very powerful, very dangerous,” Orkey confirmed. “We must move quickly if we are to shape the Empire the way we best see fit.”
“Yes, but how?” Kurtzmanus asked. “How do we dispose of someone so loved by the people?”
“It must be done delicately,” Abramus said. “We can not simply denounce him or the populace will revolt against us. We must be clever. We shall use those closest to him to deliver the fatal blow.”
Days later, Julius Shatner was walking through the forum with his nephew and sole heir, Piney the Younger. “Soon Piney, this will all belong to you. And I shall be happy to be there to announce your ascension as the new Kirkus.”
“Although I am not worthy of such a distinction yet, my Shatner, I will endeavor to Kirk in your name and honor. But come now, Uncle, another proclamation awaits you in the Senate.”
Arriving at the steps of the Curia, Julius Shatner was surprised to see a gathering of senators blocking the entrance. “What’s this, Senator Abramus? Why do you prevent me from entering? Am I not to be honored here today? It would certainly seem a bad business decision not to.”
Abramus flashed his teeth. “Oh, don’t worry, my Shatner, you’re going to get what’s coming to you.” He waited for them to close around the Kirkus and then yelled, “Now!”
Within a flash, Julius Shatner felt a deep stabbing in his back. Mortally wounded, he turned and looked incredulously at the conniving senators. Then his eyes fell on a sight he could not fathom. His mouth was barely able to form the words, “Et tu, Nimonius?” For there, standing with the conspirators, with a blood-soaked script in his hands, was his dearest old friend. A callously raised eyebrow was Nimonius’s only response to Shatner’s last gasp.
Abramus, Orkey and Kurtzmanus were satisfied with the death of the Kirk. After all there was nothing they could do about it now – it was canon for God’s sake. They soon turned their attention to Piney, the newly crowned Kirkus. “We shall mold him in our image, agreed the senators. “He shall be our vision for the future.”
But as they met Piney on the set of the Empire, they found things had gone horribly awry. Piney had become more of a Prima Dona than his uncle ever had been. He was demanding, temperamental and given to fits that soon alienated his gathered legions.
Abramus confronted the young Kirkus. “But we made you who you are; we put you in this position. How could you do this to us?”
“It is my world now, Abramus. I’ve tasted the power; I’ve sat in the chair. It runs through my vains. I am the Kirk.”
“But, Piney…”
‘Don’t call me that! I… am a god now! I am… immortal now! I… am… Shatner!”
