Caption Contest 9: Cruisin'

[Triskelion]

Whoa nellie it's time to hose off the remains of the last contest. We saw japanimation, Lord of the Rings, male "bonding", oh and enough poop references to film Biff's convertible crash in ten takes!

The winners:

Golly, Andy. I ain't seen Barney all day.

Unfortunately, it was Reed's job to clean the road markers off the hull whenever Hoshi practiced driving.

Archer: "T'Pol, I want to know who sabotaged my pressure suit, and I want to know now."
Trip: "Uh.. Sir? Are we looking at the frank, or the beans?"

And Malcolm died as he lived.

With a guy flashing a buffalo shot right in front of his face.

And a Multi-Cap Award goes to:

"Workingin the Coal mine, going down down, working in a coal mine.... time to get down.."

Captain Archer:Activating the crab eyeball to take a peek into the next galaxy.

Archer ": Damn it did he just poo his suit again..."

T Pol " Unfortunately...Captain he has."

Malcom: "I want some gummy bears!"

Archer: Damn it don't make me shoot yer as again...

Loved the Devo reference! (If you can spot it you're oooold)!


Our Photoshop Award:

REED: [thinking] "Why do I have the feeling I'm being watched??"

Congratulations to all our winners new and old!

Your prize:

37¢ Discount on all bowl haircuts at Floyd's!


This week's contest finds our heroes cruisin' down Carpenter Street looking for some local action....

Images courtesy of Startrekonline.com


Shotgun!

 

[SFRabid]

Archer: "If I can drive a ship I can drive a car.
(Thump - runs over fire hydryant.)
Archer: "Is it raining?"

Archer: "T'Pol, we need some money to stay undercover. Stand here on the street corner."

T'Pol "I cannot believe you forgot where you parked."

T'Pol - "I'll have a cheeseburger, hold the burger."

 

[Rat Boy]

T'Pol: "What are these straps across the seat?"

Loomis: "Seat belts."

Archer: "What are they for?"

Loomis: "Keeps you from getting tossed around during a crash."

Archer: "What a stupid idea. No wonder we don't use it in our time."

Archer: "All I got is $53.75. What'll that get me?"

T'Pol: *whispers*

Archer: "Sold!"

T'Pol: "You drive a Yugo? Keep your money, honey. You need it more than I do."

Grignak, the fish-looking fast food asswipe (on the speaker): "Number you name, money I name, otherwise value meal nooooooooo!"

 

[SFRabid]

T'Pol - "Can't you put that Gameboy away for 5 inutes?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Mr. Franklin's looking a little lonely."

T'Pol: "That all I got, Daddy."

Archer: "Is Jonathan Archer gonna have to choke a bitch?

 

[SFRabid]

Trip texting Archer: "What got T'Pol into such a mood?"
Archer back to Trip: "She just found out that she could have been charging you $100 every time you visit her room."

 

[SFRabid]

Archer: "Why is there an unconcious man with a broken leg at your feet?"
T'Pol: "He offered me $100 to have sex with him."
Archer: "So you broke his leg?"
T'Pol" "He offered Hoshi $200."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Keep an eye peeled.

There's a hardcore Swedish pleasure shop somewhere around here."

"Don't worry, T'Pol.

It was actually much harder in this era to get and transmit STDs than you've probably been led to believe."

T'POL:"Would this be a bad time to inform you I think I'm coming down with diarrhea?"

"Hello...

Welcome to BURGERLand...may I spit and snot into your order, jackwipe?"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Where the HELL is that Harry Nilsson music coming from?!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

Hello, my name is cooleddie. Can I take your order?

 

[Triskelion]

T'Pol: Isn't there anything else on the radio besides this "Rush" person?
Loomis: Sure. How about some Howard Stern?
Archer: See T'Pol, this is the old two party system I was telling you about.
T'Pol: Logical.

Archer: The boat thing?
T'Pol: I could never be with someone who has a boat.
Archer: I have a boat.
T'Pol: Oh.
Archer: Which clinches it; we'll never be together.

Captain, I'm concerned our cover is about to be blown.
Why do you say that, T'Pol?
For this era, I'm far too hot to be seen "hoofing it" for a guy with no car.

Archer: Do you have burgers?

 

[Rat Boy]

Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

Hello, my name is cooleddie. Can I take your order?

Rick: "cooleddie, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Damn.

Look at the gas prices here. We're gonna have to find a cheaper station. We're not made out of latinum."

T'POL:"We will separate and use our hand scanners to search different streets and neighborhoods. The first one to find Mr. Loomis and the Xindi technology will use their communicator and yell 'HOOCHIE-MOMMA!!!'"

ARCHER:"Great time to break down in a bad neighborhood.

That BurgerLand mess is lying and festering in my bowel like a leaking lead pipe."

"My friend and I are looking for the White Castle that used to be here...do you know where it went?"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Awwwww, shucks. I can never quit you."

"Our specials this week include a Kiss My Ass for $3.99 and a Suck on My Big Fat Combo for $4.99...you can supersize my middle finger in your ugly face for an extra buck!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm gonna stop at that store across the road and buy something for us to eat? Want anything?

NO. Lemme guess.

Root leaves, cardboard and flavorless industrial caulking."

 

[Nebusj]

Fortunately, the cabbie to whom Archer and T'Pol explained their mission as time-travelling agents sent dozens of light years and centuries back in time to stop alien reptiles from destroying humanity was Reverend Jim Ignatowski.

``For the last time, T'Pol, I do not care if the Vulcan Science Directorate has determined there are no mountains around Detroit. I say that's Detroit and we're sticking with that story!''

``This is weird ... this is seriously weird ... all my scanner is picking up are nuclear wessels.''

``Oh, poopie ... T'Pol, please tell me you brought our passports with us!''

 

[Nerys Myk]

CABBIE: You in town for that Star Track Convention? Your friend reminds me of that Doctor Spock guy. I ain't a fan of that science fictional stuff myself, but some of those babes are hot. Green chicks, blue chicks, orange chicks. Sometimes they got next to nothin' on. Know what I'm mean.... uh no offense mam....

T'POL: We should have taken the bus.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Forgive the rancid smell of bad beef shwarma.

We took this vehicle from what used to be called a cabbie."

ARCHER:"I love you."

T'POL:"I love myself as well. What is your point?"

ARCHER:"My scanner's picking up definite signs of Foreigner, Michael Jackson and Ratt videos being filmed in close proximity to this location."

ARCHER:"Can I get the Hu Flung Pu with a side order of Wu Tang Clan and some Balls Hung-Lo?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm SCANNING you, T'Pol...arrrrrrrrr....BZZZZZZZZZZZZ..."

(*T'Pol's head soon explodes*)

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Tactical alert! Arm phase cannons and ready photonic torpedoes!"

T'Pol: "Not that kind of order, you putz!"