T'PAU:"Your katra is strong.
As is your B.O.
Seriously, Captain...do any of you Earthmen smell pleasant?!"
caption contest 43: beam me up before you go go
- Thread starter Triskelion
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T'PAU:"Your katra is strong.
As is your B.O.
Seriously, Captain...do any of you Earthmen smell pleasant?!"
Surak: This is the pillar of virility.
Archer: Why are there two?
Surak: .....
Archer: Oh.
Surak: Whatever T'Pol's getting paid, it's not enough.
SURAK:"Come here, Captain.
I have something for you. Your father wanted you to have it when you were old enough...but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He was afraid you might follow ol' Henry on some damn fool idealistic warp speed crusade like Dr. Cochrane did."
ARCHER:"Funny.
WHY do I taste copper?"
Take care. It looks like it's going to be a busy year for George Lucas's lawyers...
"Punch it, Chewie... er, I mean Mr. Sulu."
Mental rape -- so wrong and yet so good.
T'Pol: "My mind to your mind, my thoughts, etc etc. You will wake up thinking that we just had hours of relentless amazing sex, yet you will have no need to brag about it, and thereafter you will cease hitting on me at every opportunity, as you no longer have need to...
...
...
The experience will also turn you gay, as human females cannot compete..."
Archer fell for the oldest trick in the book.
"Shiatsu-katra."
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SURAK:"If you think the patio is impressive, you should see the all-redstone toilet with the feldspar bidet."
T'Pau: "You have many repressed fantasies in here of making love with various women of various species in various locales. But, in every one of them, why is your mother watching you through a window?"
...and then T'Pau removed Archer's mask to reveal he was---in reality---a lizard sent to kill and eat Vulcans.
T'Pau: First officer French maid uniforms are most illogical.
Surak: It's a fixer-upper.
Archer: You said it had a jacuzzi.
Surak: Did I? Most illogical.
Archer: "I don't know, T'Pau. Trying to find a decent apartment around here is tough."
T'Pau: "Well, keep at it. I'm sure you'll find something."
Archer: "Well, I give up. What's the catch?"
Surak: "Oh, no catch. Although we are technically in New Jersey..."
Archer: "Not one place even remotely livable!"
Rachel Maddow finally goes a step TOO far during cable news sweeps week.
SURAK:"Did you see my OTHER rough-hewn patio? The one with the even more crooked and pockmarked pillars?"
T'PAU:"I sense DEEP concern from you...concern over the series finale...
You are worried about your friend Trip...perishing like...how do you put it?
A 'punk.'"
`
T'Pau:
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
Archer:
"I hate this commercial."
Archer: "I don't think it's working
T'Pau: "My mind to your mind -- my thought to your thoughts -- my boobs to your neck -- my tounge in your ear -- my groin to your back -- my hips moving in circles -- my ...
Archer: "Working now."
T'Pau:
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
"My fingers, apply directly to the forehead -- my fingers, apply directly to the forehead."
Archer:
"I hate this commercial."
Archer: "I don't think it's working
T'Pau: "My mind to your mind -- my thought to your thoughts -- my boobs to your neck -- my tounge in your ear -- my groin to your back -- my hips moving in circles -- my ...
Archer: "Working now."
Archer: "...and that wasn't the last time I seriously considered slapping her ass."
Suddenly changing topic and speaking in a deep voice. This causes T'Pau to briefly display emotion, as she releases Archer and stands back in shock.
"INCOMING MESSAGE FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD!
HIS HIGH ROYAL SHATNESS WISHES IT BE KNOWN THAT HE WON'T BE APPEARING ON ENTERPRISE THIS SEASON! HE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR SCRIPT.
< MESSAGES ENDS >
< ADDITIONAL >
J.J., I'M TELLING YOU! YOU ALREADY HAVE MY INTERGALACTIC PHONE NUMBER.
JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE THAT DUMP TRUCK FULL OF CASH ALREADY!"
Archer: (deep exhale) "Sorry about that. Must be a crossed line."
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Surak: "Feng Shui is all well and good, Captain... but if I move those pillars as you suggest, in order to make my aura more healthy... I would also be buried under Mount Selayah."
Archer: "Okay... scratch that. How do you feel about wind chimes?"
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