Caption Contest 36: once more into the britches
- Thread starter Triskelion
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Trip: Signal Enterprise that we've got a buzzing woofer. Tell 'em I'm gonna attempt the LL Cool J but we've got Spice Girls on standby, just in case.
Mayweather: Guys, how about some Vanilla Ice?
<Trip and Reed look at each other and go on working>
Mayweather: Guys?
Trip: Radio Enterprise. Tell 'em we've found the clitoris.
Reed: T'Pol's going to want confirmation.
Trip: That's because the Vulcan Science Directorate thinks it's a myth.
Mayweather: I guess a theory is all she's had to go on, right Commander?
Trip: Malcolm, give me your phaser.
TRAVIS:"We there yet, Commander? My bladder's not gonna hold out much longer!!!"
TRIP:"I kept tellin' ya NOT to guzzle an entire two-liter down there DIDN'T I?
You either hold it in...or you don't! Either way, I'm not gonna clean it!!"
TRIP:"Signal Enterprise. Tell the Captain we found Witch Mountain."
MALCOLM:"My hand scanner indicates Ike Eisenmann is about 200 meters inside the opening."
TRIP:"Hold on tight back there, guys...I'm gonna jump this bitch over Snake Creek and show Roscoe what's WHAT!!"
TRIP:"Is Travis STILL gettin' head back there?
DAMN.
He's sure as hellfire gettin' his money's worth, huh?"
Trip: Whoa!
Reed: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!
Trip: Oh man, I shot Travis in the face.
Reed: Why the fuck did you do that!
Trip: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
Reed: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...
Trip: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
Reed: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump.
Trip: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don't know why.
Reed: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!
Trip: I don't believe it.
Reed: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in fucking blood.
Trip: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.
Reed: This in the Valley, Trip. Marcellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley.
Trip: Well Reed this ain't my fucking town, man!
Reed: Shit!
[Reed dials a number on his cell phone]
Trip: What you doin'?
Reed: I'm calling my partner in Toluca Lake.
Trip: Where's Toluca Lake?
Reed: It's just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmie's ass ain't home, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8. Hey Jimmie, yo, how you doin', man? It's Reed. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious fucking shit. We're in a car and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours
TRAVIS:"Commander!!!! MISTER REED!!!!
There...there's a KING COBRA back here!!! Help!!!!"
TRIP:"Quit your jawin', Ensign...that's just Spitting Pete. You leave him be...he'll leave you be."
TRAVIS:"Where do we validate our parking? Guys?"
TRIP:"Travis, if ya don't want Porthos bitin' at your nuts then LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! I kept tellin' ya not to bring cheese along and tease him with it, didn't I?"
TRIP:"Anyone else find it weird we're trick-or-treatin' at a CAVE out in the middle of nowhere?
Hello? Anyone?
Just me then, huh?"
Trip stops to admire the view. He holds both hands high into the sky. Using forefingers and thumbs to form a rough square... like a old time Film Director framing a shot.
Trip: "I'm telling you, I program Movie Night every week and this looks awfully familiar."
Travis: "With respect, Sir....
You're craaaazeeee."
Malcolm: "Meh. You've seen one mountain, you've seen them all."
Trip suddenly ducks, as if avoiding something moving through the air.
Trip: (eyes glazed over) "Woah... look out! Flying stars. Lots of 'em."
Both friends turn to look at each other... Tucker's finally lost it.
Travis: "Not this again! Must some strange hallocinogen in the atmosphere..."
Malcolm: "Nice! (rubs his hands with glee)
I missed out on that last time!"
Meanwhile several thousand feet below, in a cornfield... a Bad Robot is going *bleep*.
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