Caption Contest 10: Local Hero Sandwich

[Triskelion]

Well close the styrofoam lid on another Burgerland feast, over a billion colons abused! This week's winners come to us from their special place and flash us back to a better time. Ah those were never the days!

As if it's not enough being from idyllic Kentucky, Master Turd Ferguson must also flaunt his clearly superior captions and leave us all wishing we had kept our old record players:

"...and now, on FLASHBACK... a little hit from the year 1986. From the album 'A Valentine to the Fans,' it's VOMIT with the hit single 'I Hate You.'"

There was something about the next caption that kept making me laugh out loud every time I read it. Naturally it's brought to us from Ghoul-eddie74!

T'POL:"We will separate and use our hand scanners to search different streets and neighborhoods. The first one to find Mr. Loomis and the Xindi technology will use their communicator and yell 'HOOCHIE-MOMMA!!!'"

Not to be outmastered is this warp slingshot down memory lane from the brain of Nebusj:

``This is weird ... this is seriously weird ... all my scanner is picking up are nuclear wessels.''

And taking time out from cruisin' Toshi station to pick up some power converters, Skyhaunter brings us:

Familiar Voice: "Welcome to Burgerland. How can I help you?"
Archer: "...Travis?"

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to all for playing!

Your prize:

Vulcan otoplasty!


Our next double feature finds our heroes returning Home, a little tired, a little worse for wear, but no closer to their happy place:

___________________

Engage Hamsterwheels!

 

[Triskelion]

I'm going to talk about how much we appreciated your support during the Xindi crisis, but first, a little Folsom Prison Blues.

Trip: I'd do her.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Archer: "They love me. All of them. They love me. All of them. They love me. All of them. They love me-"

T'pol: "-And this is where the Jedi Temple used to be."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks for the win!

Archer: Well, it's great to be back on Earth...

Crowd: WHAT!?

Archer: The Delphic Expanse was certainly...

Crowd: SPEAK INTO THE MICROPHONE!!!

Moderator: Erm, Captain Archer? The podium is actually on the other side of that shuttle pod. Next to the crowd.

"So, I'm guessin' Vulcans are fans of the Prequel Trilogy? Where's the logic in that?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Signal the shuttle Hoshi. Tell President Obama everyone is here and seated.

 

[cooleddie74]

"OBAMA'S speaking today, too?!"

TRIP:"I used to have an old bowlin' trophy that looked like that."

 

[cooleddie74]

" A stretch limo with whores and liquor?

This is TOO MUCH...really!"

T'POL:"Two thousand years ago, Surak himself used these statues as meeting and rendezvous points for casual sex."

 

[Nebusj]

Not to be outmastered is this warp slingshot down memory lane from the brain of Nebusj:

Oh, thank you.

``Look, I saved the whole world. Is it too much to ask for a fleet of zeppelins piloted by steampunk kangaroo cyborg mad scientists already? Me, world. You, kangaroos. What's so hard about this?''

``And yet Surak reported he never found peace here, as he reported each time he looked away from a statue it would put its tongue out and hold its hand up with its thumb on its nose, only to switch back fast when he turned to get a good look.''

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "They're applauding the shuttle, aren't they?"

Tucker: "It's only a model."

T'Pol: "Shhhhhhh!"

 

[Starpaul20]

Archer: What do you mean I gotta move my shuttle? I just saved the whole f***** planet, I think that entitles me to park WHEREVER THE HELL I LIKE!

 

[Skywalker]

Sam: "Al, why haven't I leaped?!"

Trip: "So the Jedi Knights originally came from Vulcan?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Those are some big nuns.

 

[Skywalker]

Trip: "So what exactly is the logic behind carvin' giant statues of dead folks?"
T'Pol: "I...well..."
Trip: "Aha!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

COP (OC):You can't park that here!

TRIP: Crap, I suck at Wizard Chess!

 

[CaptainJon]

Archer: (thinking) Damn...I left the oven on.

or

Archer (thinking): Damn...I forgot my pants.

Trip: Hey! I don't remember those being in The Motion Picture!
T'Pol: That's because you haven't seen the new directors edition.

 

[Skywalker]

Archer: "Anybody want to say something? I'm fresh out of animal metaphors."

 

[JiNX-01]

Archer: "Anybody want to say something? I'm fresh out of animal metaphors."

Oh, if this doesn't win...

 

[Triskelion]

Choosing winners is already going to be a tough job!

Don't say boobies don't say boobies don't say boobies....

Trip: What do those inscriptions on the base mean?
T'Pol: Thou shalt always close thy robe.
Trip: And that one?
T'Pol: Eat at the Big Foot Bar and Grill.

 

[cooleddie74]

[

"Tell Malcolm he has to ride in the back with the ship's laundry..."

TRIP:"You guys used to have action figures of The Emperor from STAR WARS too?

Wow! Lucas wasn't kiddin' about them merchandisin' deals!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Archer was on an historic roll and enjoyed universal adoration from the crowds...until he whipped out the joke about the old woman and the tampon.