Can I have your sports?

[Trekker4747]

Whenever I'm eating lunch and reading the paper usually someone in a neighboring booth or walking by will ask me if they can have my sports page. I usually pull it out of my "unread" stack and hand it over without much fuss. "Want this back?" "Nah."

Now, sure, whatever people are into sports and want to read the section and masturbate to all the daily numbers or the local columnists' take on recent games/events/drafts, whatever. But, for me, the Sports Section has always been the part of the paper to pain models or do other work on. It's not a section I've ever really considered. On occasion I'll look at it to see how shitty the Royals are doing, I may read the game break-down for a Chiefs game but, for the most part, I don't give the Sports Section much thought. Hell, I rarely even put stock in the weather that's printed on the back of it in our local paper since that weather forecast was written some-time the night before and anyone who follows weather knows that that's eons in terms of changes to the forecast. They might as well not even bother.

So, what do you do with the sports section of your daily newspaper?

 

[Canadave]

I tend to read it.

 

[Garak]

I masturbate to all the daily numbers or the local columnists' take on recent games/events/drafts.


Stick with the gardening section Trekker. Or maybe the classifieds, if you ever want a real job.

 

[mari]

You still read the news on dead tree?

 

[Trekker4747]

I masturbate to all the daily numbers or the local columnists' take on recent games/events/drafts.


Stick with the gardening section Trekker. Or maybe the classifieds, if you ever want a real job.

 

[Roger Wilco]

It's always the first thing I read.
eta: except when my team lost badly the night before, then I might ignore it entirely.

 

[RoJoHen]

News...paper...? What is this newspaper of which you speak?

 

[John Picard]

Back in the days when I actually read the physical newspaper, the sports section was the first item that went into the trash/recycling. It is the biggest single waste of resources in any form of literature.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

i stopped reading the newspaper about 6 or 8 months after 9/11--unfortunately our television guide now comes in newspaper form (as opposed to the high gloss booklet it use to be)...so i do go through that. And i HATE IT. I HATE IT!!!! I hate newsprint on my hands. Not too OCD, eh?

 

[Daneel]

There's usually a couple of papers at work that I can read (don't actually have a subscription to any myself)... I never read the sports section. In my effort to embody as many nerd clichés as possible, I just don't care for sports, so reading the sports section would do nothing but bore me.

Typically, I'll jump right to the entertainment section. After that, I might read the first section (the local and international news), although I may reverse that order if a particular headline really interests me.

 

[T'Baio]

Stick with the gardening section Trekker. Or maybe the classifieds, if you ever want a real job.

You know, we're not supposed to be douche's outside of TNZ. You might want to keep it there.

 

[Garak]

Stick with the gardening section Trekker. Or maybe the classifieds, if you ever want a real job.

You know, we're not supposed to be douche's outside of TNZ. You might want to keep it there.

What do I know? I'm just a guy that masturbates to the numbers in the sports section.

 

[T'Baio]

Ooohh...so you were offended by his impersonal generalization of sports fans, and felt the need to make it personal. I see.

*passes a tissue*

 

[SPOCKED]

Stick with the gardening section Trekker. Or maybe the classifieds, if you ever want a real job.

You know, we're not supposed to be douche's outside of TNZ. You might want to keep it there.

What do I know? I'm just a guy that masturbates to the numbers in the sports section.

Hence why the pages were always stuck together in the BR toilet Yes, your comments were crude but not flammable - be a little more nicer in here, you know... like I used to be

 

[Capn Flukie]

I think the edges around TNZ need more grout or something... I sense... leakage...

Ew.

To the OP (yo yo yo): I haven't bought a paper in quite some time, but if I did, the sports page would be the first section I wouldn't read, as I tend to hate sports.

 

[Garak]

Ooohh...so you were offended by his impersonal generalization of sports fans, and felt the need to make it personal. I see.

*passes a tissue*

Me? Offended? Here? Come on.

You know, we're not supposed to be douche's outside of TNZ. You might want to keep it there.

What do I know? I'm just a guy that masturbates to the numbers in the sports section.

Hence why the pages were always stuck together in the BR toilet Yes, your comments were crude but not flammable - be a little more nicer in here, you know... like I used to be

I still think you're really nice. Don't fight it, let the joy flow.

 

[Lindley]

I don't read physical newspapers often. In fact I think it's been a few years since I touched one except to scrunch it up as a firestarter.

I've never given the sports section much mind, but then, even back when I did read the things it was mostly just the funnies.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

On the rare occasions I have a physical newspaper in my possession, the sports section will always be the most neglected. I couldn't care less about people playing with their balls in public.

 

[John Picard]

I don't read physical newspapers often. In fact I think it's been a few years since I touched one except to scrunch it up as a firestarter.

I've never given the sports section much mind, but then, even back when I did read the things it was mostly just the funnies.

By funnies are you referring to the Letters to the Editor or the Comics section? Here, in the OKC area, the Letters to the Editor are sometimes downright hysterical.

 

[Lindley]

Comics. But then, I suppose maybe I should have said "funnies" anyway. With the quotes.