Calling All Shippers! Mediation Thread

[Top41]

In the past few weeks, we've been getting quite a lot of notifications and PMs about 'shipper tensions. Repeated digs are starting to get under folks' skins, and we're seeing this from both sides. It needs to be worked out, now.

The shippers are all intelligent, thoughtful posters. I know you guys aren't going to see eye-to-eye on the 'ships themselves, but you need to come to some sort of consensus on how you're going to get along.

Thusfar it's seemed to us that you would like to keep your threads separate. However, it's also obvious that each side reads the other side's threads, and takes insult to any negative comment made about their side. So, do we discourage negative comments about the opposing 'ship altogether, or do we accept that in talking up one 'ship, there might be a bit of talking down of the other? And can we avoid comments suggesting that one 'ship is "obviously" superior to the other?

This needs to be worked out here. I don't want to see the 'shipper threads shut down, but we'll have to do this if this kind of tension and sniping continues. It would be a shame, but we have to do what's best for the forum, and this continued tension is not doing anyone any good.

So, please, let's work it out here.

Your forum mods, Top41, jkladis, Makurosu, and Timofnine

 

[bizmAAArk]

As much as this sounds like a good idea, I just don't think it's going to work. Trying to force two people who completely disagree, while already understanding each others' viewpoints, to talk to one another never really works out. All you can hope for is for each side to leave the other alone.

And to be honest, I simply don't see how anything can really be "worked out", but the best of luck to you, I guess. It will be needed.

 

[jkladis]

Posted by bizmAAArk:
As much as this sounds like a good idea, I just don't think it's going to work. Trying to froce two people who completely disagree, while already understanding each others' viewpoints, to talk to one another never really works out. All you can hope for is for each side to leave the other alone.

And to be honest, I simply don't see how anything can really be "worked out", but the best of luck to you, I guess. It will be needed.

The same approach was taken months ago with an Enterprise forum mediation thread. It wasn't perfect, and was in fact, eventually closed. However, it was successful in assisting everyone to air out their thoughts, feelings, frustrations, etc., and an ideal compromise was reached that helped us enforce action in this forum.

We have to come to a decision of how to proceed, regardless, so I think this is at least a good place to start.

 

[Ulva]

Take a deep breath everybody and leave the hostility behind... Please? We do want to keep on talking about our favorite topics, don't we?

 

[Oden]

I dont really see how some people in here can get all riled up over something like this.

I may be a T/T person, but I dont take it so seriously that I care that some one might like T/A or whatever they might like.

While some people are obviously trying to annoy the "other side" by making comments about "superiority" or whatever.

The fact that someone can get pissed off at a poster in a bbs and actually take time to piss of the "other side" is just inexplicable.

You could all write that you hate T/T or A/T, or that you wanted Sweden to be eradicated in a ethnic cleansing, I wouldnt care since this is all just written words that doesnt really affect me personally.

just stop taking this soooooooo seriously you might just not die prematurly bye a heart attack.

 

[DragonLady]

It's not worth getting all riled up about. It's just a TV show, and not a very good one at that.

I have to admit, I've never understood getting all wrapped up in this shipper stuff anyway.

 

[Jenna]

I've just expanded my ignore list, and for the most part I stay happy and stress-free. I usually still find out about the really horrible things/comments thanks to a tight-knit group of PM-ers but I rarely see the posts that everyone freaks out about. Today was the first time in a while I've let somebody get to me.

It's sad really. I know for a fact I miss out on some excellent non-shipper discussion because of my ignore policy, but I don't see a way around it.

For the most part, I try to keep ship discussion out of the non-ship threads unless it's relevent. Example: the Home spoilers thread discussed shipping for obvious and necessary reasons. I think continuing this will help. If you can't say something nice, shut up.

I'll go ahead and air a concern I have that's popped up over the past few days. I was kicked out of the Bakula appreciation thread because apparently I'm not allowed to like two male actors from the same series. That's ridiculous, and it made me very angry. That's a rage thread over an ACTOR, not a ship, and I should feel comfortable posting in there. I was told to leave. It was rude, and completely unecessary since I'd never said a SINGLE bad thing about Scott Bakula. I have only praise for the man. I know how to differentiate between the actor and his characer. I wish everyone else would take a hint.

The same thing happened when a couple of T/Ters posted praise of Jolene Blalock. We got attacked for "hypocrisy" simply because while we didn't agree with her interview comments, we still liked her as an actress. How hard is that to understand and accept without attacking someone?

Oh, I have more to say, but my boss just yelled at me for messing around here. Later.

 

[DAK]

Personally, my solution is to just stay out of the 'other' threads. It's really not worth the aggravation.

Posted by Top41:
...or do we accept that in talking up one 'ship, there might be a bit of talking down of the other?

I think this is unavoidable. Obviously you can't control what threads folks choose to read, but how about if you want to make a negative comment about the other 'ship you keep it in your own 'ship thread? That way if one ventures into enemy territory, so to speak, they read at their own risk.

 

[LLAP2U]

Actually, I really love talking about the different views with 'the other side' and I think that it is great to see certain scenes in a new light. The only problem that I have is that certain people get very personal and begin to verbally attack. Calling others stupid, wierdos or saying that they are superior to 'the other side', etc,

It is all rather silly...... and childish.

Some teasing is going to be involved no matter what and that I enjoy. I have had a lot of fun with Commodore 64 teasing back and forth. But some people don't know where to draw the line.

I feel that if I am respectful of another's opinion that the adult thing is to be respectful of mine. If I like someone with someone else than who you like then that is my opinion and insulting me does not change what I like... and vice verse. If I like someone from your 'ship' with a different member of the crew then I have that right to see something different than you no matter how strange it may appear to you.

Remember it's all about fun... some people tend to forget that...

 

[Blah]

We all seem to do a lot better when we stay in our own shipping threads. I didn't realize reading each others thread was creating that much of a problem

I would say just keep the talking about the other side to a minimum. What else can you do?

We're never going to get along so it's best if we just stay out of each others way.

 

[Jen]

Ok, I'm not a shipper. But I do have some experience in my favorite threads being closed down and not allowed here anymore, so I'm gonna try to help the shippers.

Be nice. Yeah, A/Ters might not like T/Ters, but is there any need to insult them? No. You can certainly read the thread if you like, but if you have the urge to post something nasty, rein that urge in. Trust me, it's not worth it.

Also, there's always the famous saying going around, one I posted over and over again: If you don't like the thread, don't read it.. Nobody's forcing you to. Especially if you can't be civil in a response.

Now, if you do end up posting in the "oposition" thread, and you're being nice, etc., there is NO need for the "supporters" to be nasty to you. They should respond in the same civil manner.

And we should all be welcomed in every thread, no matter what. This whole "kicking a person out because..." is just plain silly.

Take some advice from a person who's been in your situation, but had the threads shut down. It's NOT WORTH IT!

 

[pookha]

personally i think the ship rage threads should be given a little flex.. with warnings that someone not of that frame of mind could be upset.

but that certain standards would be upheld else where on the board..

one problem is sometimes it is hard to know if certain people are just teasing because their overall history of posting is so inflammatory.

more later..

 

[jkladis]

Posted by Jen Raasch:
And we should all be welcomed in every thread, no matter what. This whole "kicking a person out because..." is just plain silly.

Something I agree and feel very strongly about.

But....it's a delicate balance. Some people don't even want a civilized debate to emerge in the middle of a 'ship-tribute (or rage) thread. It appears to defeat the purpose of what they're trying to accomplish. And I, for one, respect that.

At the same time, this BBS is generally not supposed to endorse the act of grouping together and control a thread, just becasuse. We don't expel criticism from the more general Enterprise threads, so common sense should also apply here. And it's not like we would ignore trolls. That's a judgment call, but the same common sense should and would exist.

 

[Top41]

Posted by Oden:
just stop taking this soooooooo seriously you might just not die prematurly bye a heart attack.

Let's keep comments like this out of this thread. That doesn't help anyone.

***
I think the separate threads thing is a good idea in theory, but a couple of problems have come up.

1) Each side reads the other's thread (not all the posters, just some) and takes offense at any derrogatory comment made about their ship, even though it's in the other group's own thread.

2) When that happens, someone feels the need to jump in and defend their ship and then we've got T/T vs. A/T argument #45227, and no one is happy.

3) It's bleeding into other threads. We do get newbies around here who occasionally will show favortism to one ship or another. It's confusing to them and tiring to the mods to see a whole bunch of posters flock to the thread and say, "Not this old argument/idea/thread again "

The question is, can shipping be contained to these two threads, or is it going to bleed out into the forum and other folks' ship (as in, T/T going to A/T threads, and vice versa) threads?

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Might I suggest a compromise: support Archer/Trip!

We can all get along, yes we can.

 

[Anji]

^ You're cute!

I think everyone should do what we did in the old days:
wait and see what happens.

Even if your favorite couple does not get together, the couple that does may delight you.

 

[Jenna]

Posted by Temis the Vorta:
Might I suggest a compromise: support Archer/Trip!

We can all get along, yes we can.

I tried suggesting that once, and I know a few others did as well. Especially those of us who frequent the House of Tucker. But, it got shot down in some rather nasty ways. It's a ship like any other... valid like any other....

 

[Dorian Thompson]

Might I suggest a compromise: support Archer/Trip!

Works for me. However, I've had a few posters who like Archer (like I don't) get upset with me with I teasingly suggested it. I'm not kidding. Yes, it can get nasty. Connor and Scott do have the best chemistry. Off the Vulcan!! Sci-fi has a surplus of big boobed babes, anyway.

I'll stay out of the Archer/T'Pol threads. It would seem the only solution.

 

[bizmAAArk]

Posted by Dorian Thompson:

Sci-fi has a surplus of big boobed babes, anyway.

If by a surplus, you mean "not nearly enough", then I whole-heartily agree.

 

[Dorian Thompson]

Hey now, the men need to strut it out for us. Off with Connor and Scott's clothes as often as humanly possible. Wrap T'Pol up in burlap. We have forty years of ogling to catch up with. The females may resume scantily clad status in 2041.

In the meantime we need ourselves some manly shoulders, arms, chests, butts and....use your imagination.