Boy bands in space!

[Sumire]

So, my husband and I were discussing Enterprise one evening at home, as one does, and I was regaling him on the topic of the crazy idea UPN had to entice viewers into watching Enterprise by having different guest boy bands on every week. I was really lambasting the idea, beyond the actual unwanted suggestion itself and on into the logistics of the whole thing. Where were these new crew members supposed to come from? Where were they supposed to go? How were they supposed to arrive and leave a ship that was faster than any other ship in Earth‘s fleet travelling farther afield than any Earth ship had ever traveled? And where were they supposed to fit a stage big enough for four or five young men (to dance?) in the mess hall while providing room for the audience?

My husband lovingly and patiently weathered my tirade and then, smilingly (smirkingly?) suggested an option covering all but my final question which I had not considered. An absolutely absurd option, yes, but an option I had not considered. According to my husband’s proposal, there would be a group of shape shifting aliens on board the Enterprise, observing the crew of Earth’s first warp five capable starship. They would use their superior skills at masking their presence to blend into the background until they ran that week’s experiment (exposing the crew to a boy band performance), wipe their memory of said experiment, transform into different people, integrate back into the lower decks crew and then await the chance to run the experiment again (as all good scientists must).

Absurd, I know. Very glad my husband was not able to run his tongue-in-cheek thought experiment by UPN executives back in 2000. I’m running it by you though, dearest fellow Enterprise fans because, well, I had to share. What do you think of the flotsam floating about in my husband’s brain?

 

[Dukhat]

It isn’t any worse than any other explanation UPN would have come up with.

 

[Tosk]

It's "fine" as far as excuses for horrifically ramming the idea into the show go, but still not something I would be on board for.

If the idea had gone through, in my opinion the only acceptable way to frame it would be as recordings from home. Instead of movie night, the crew gather to watch a performance.

 

[Sumire]

If the idea had gone through, in my opinion the only acceptable way to frame it would be as recordings from home. Instead of movie night, the crew gather to watch a performance.

How did such a prosaic explanation never occur to me?!? I think this is where a younger person would insert a shocked Pikachu face.

 

[Oddish]

Not just a younger person.

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[Michael]

I admit that this idea sounds pretty ridiculous on paper, but I'm not so sure it couldn't have been been made to work in some fashion. Off the top of my head I can think of a number of shows – and serious drama television at that – featuring musical cameos, like for example Twin Peaks (Julee Cruise, Nine Inch Nails), American Horror Story (Stevie Nicks), True Detective (Lera Lynn) or Game of Thrones (Sigur Rós). None of those were boy bands, though. But listening to Brannon Braga tell the tale it seems like this would have also included rock bands. He says the studio executive making the proposal wanted new bands to feature each week, which would probably have been a bit too much. But just in general I don't see what would have been so outlandish about the idea of featuring musical guests. As long as they manage to weave their appearance at least somewhat believably into the story and choose a song that fits the narrative or theme of the given plot, I think it could have been neat actually.

And just as a general observation, it's interesting to see how much the producers of the show resisted including any contemporary music in the show at all. I feel like many prestige shows at that time (like Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, The Wire, Lost or Breaking Bad) started to include (pop) songs in pivotal emotional moments of their episodes, to great effect. A trend that continues still today. They probably thought that contemporary music would clash too much with the future setting. But if done right I think they could have been ahead of the curve on Enterprise.

Edited to add: Could be fun spitballing possible acts from that time they could have featured. I'll nominate The White Stripes as a touring half-black/half-white musical couple from the planet Cheron. Or have The Killers as part of the group of augments, complete with augmented musical abilities. Or better yet, feature the band Tool – their music sounds properly alien as it is.

 

[Tosk]

The problem is, the idea wasn't supposed to be a way to utilize songs effectively as part of the storytelling...it was about shoehorning whatever shit-heel band was being pushed hard that month.

 

[Michael]

The problem is, the idea wasn't supposed to be a way to utilize songs effectively as part of the storytelling...it was about shoehorning whatever shit-heel band was being pushed hard that month.

Well, at least that’s more or less how Braga is telling it years later after the fact. As part of a narrative about a struggling and ultimately cancelled show that aims to portray him and Rick Berman as having to constantly fight against the studio’s demands. I'm not saying he’s fabricating the story, but I think he’s likely telling us the worst version of that story. I guess that might also be why while telling it he corrects himself from first saying “rock bands” to then saying “boy bands”, because it makes it sound even more outrageously stupid.

But I agree, as presented the idea would have been pretty ridiculous. However, I remain unconvinced that it couldn't have worked if they workshopped the idea somewhat, i.e. strike it having to be a new band every week, strike it having to be a band included just to do promo for an album. Cameos of contemporary musical acts on Enterprise could have worked if it was done organically and sparingly.

 

[Tosk]

if it was done organically and sparingly.

Hard to picture that being the case seeing as the idea wasn't floated as a way to make the show better, but as a way to supposedly draw in a different audience.

I'm certainly not saying you couldn't do the idea in some form and have it work. I'm pretty sure we meet in the middle on this one.

 

[Michael]

I'm pretty sure we meet in the middle on this one.

Absolutely, yes.

It's not important, but I'm kind of curious who exactly that UPN executive was that presented this idea. Braga doesn't want to name them, but then calls the person in question a “she” in a later sentence in the interview. Just curious if it's someone I recognize and what they went on to do. I did a superficial search but wasn't able to find out much about the management history of the station and who might have been in that position in 2002/2003.

 

[Orphalesion]

Honestly, I'd take the boyband over the Temporal Cold War and Vulcan-Human racism nonsense. It could not have made Enterprise any worse and at least it would be something to laugh about.

But yeah, maybe have it be holo recordings (I don't care that hologram technology was new in TNG, Enterprise in general looked very advanced)

 

[Tuskin38]

They had holographic target practice in.. Season 3 I think?
But it was just a big wall mounted projector.

 

[DonIago]

ENT did already have movie nights, so could have used a similar framing device for boy bands...though I'm much happier with movie nights as a concept, being a bit of a film buff myself.

OTOH, the idea of Archer, Trip and Reed sitting through multiple boy band performances does fill me with a certain amount of smirking glee..

 

[Tosk]

I don't care that hologram technology was new in TNG

It wasn't. It was the level of fidelity on the holodeck that was new.

 

[drt]

Well, at least that’s more or less how Braga is telling it years later after the fact. As part of a narrative about a struggling and ultimately cancelled show that aims to portray him and Rick Berman as having to constantly fight against the studio’s demands. I'm not saying he’s fabricating the story, but I think he’s likely telling us the worst version of that story.

You've hit the nail on the head here. I've long been of the opinion that most of the dumb stuff associated with the creation of Enterprise simply isn't true or wildly exaggerated.

I think Braga wants to blame nameless UPN executives for shortcomings in the show he created and deflect criticism with a "it could have been worse" strategy, because he knows how much Star Trek fans eat up the "fight against the network suits" arguments first pioneered by Roddenberry. Unlike Roddenberry's claims that were largely disproven years later, nobody cares enough about Enterprise and UPN to ever fact check Braga.

 

[Sumire]

OTOH, the idea of Archer, Trip and Reed sitting through multiple boy band performances does fill me with a certain amount of smirking glee..

If such a thing was indeed ever suggested (as @Michael and @drt rightfully assert, we have only unproven hearsay to go off of), I have to admit, working it into the show could have produced some interesting and/or amusing interactions… As Igor Stravinsky once said: “The more constraints one imposes, the more one frees one’s self. And the arbitrariness of the constraint serves only to obtain precision of execution.”

 

[Ragitsu]

This episode came to mind ->

 

[Dukhat]

Absolutely, yes.

It's not important, but I'm kind of curious who exactly that UPN executive was that presented this idea. Braga doesn't want to name them, but then calls the person in question a “she” in a later sentence in the interview. Just curious if it's someone I recognize and what they went on to do. I did a superficial search but wasn't able to find out much about the management history of the station and who might have been in that position in 2002/2003.

You've hit the nail on the head here. I've long been of the opinion that most of the dumb stuff associated with the creation of Enterprise simply isn't true or wildly exaggerated.

I think Braga wants to blame nameless UPN executives for shortcomings in the show he created and deflect criticism with a "it could have been worse" strategy, because he knows how much Star Trek fans eat up the "fight against the network suits" arguments first pioneered by Roddenberry. Unlike Roddenberry's claims that were largely disproven years later, nobody cares enough about Enterprise and UPN to ever fact check Braga.

I would bet good money that the "she" was Dawn Ostroff, president of UPN at the time. She was on record as saying that she wanted ENT to be 'sexier,' despite the fact that the show wasn't supposed to be about sexy people, it was supposed to be about the formation of the Federation. The inherent problem with Ms. Ostroff (and all the UPN executives in general) was that they were completely out of touch with what the show's fanbase wanted to see, or what the show was actually supposed to be about. Hence, the boy band idea, which I 100% believe was an actual thing she and the execs came up with.

A lot of people like to blame Berman and Braga for a lot of what went wrong with ENT, but UPN had far more to do with that than they did. For all their faults, B&B at least knew what Star Trek actually was.

 

[Tosk]

There's enough blame to go around.

 

[Reanok]

I'm glad the boybands of the week never was shown on Enterprise. I'm glad Berman and Braga defied the studio executives of UPN .It was a dumb idea.