Best Put-Downs!

[Red Ranger]

People:

Ah, so much fun to recall all the zingers, isn't it? Here are a couple of more I enjoy.

-From The Doomsday Machine, Kirk is speaking with Commodore Decker trying to find out why Spock isn't in command. Decker explains that he took command according to regulations, and Kirk yells, "Then you mean you're the lunatic responsible for nearly destroying my ship?"

-From Court Martial, Commodore Stone is trying to convince Kirk to accept a ground assignment, rather than be put on trial.

STONE: Then you draw a general court martial!
KIRK: Draw it? I DEMAND it! And right now, Commodore Stone! RIGHT NOW!

-In the TNG ep The Hunted, James Cromwell's character tells Picard not to interfere with Angosia's internal affairs. Picard grumbles: "A matter of internal security. The age-old cry of the oppressor."

-Don't recall the TNG ep, but Riker and Troi are discussing the merits of being captain and first officer. Troi says: "I don't think I'm cut out to be captain. First officer, maybe. I understand there aren't many qualifications." Zing!

Red Ranger

 

[Sector 7]

"Don't you people go to the bathroom in the future?!" -James Cromwell as a reluctant Zephram Cochrane, First Contact.

When I saw FC in the theater, you could tell the Trekkers from the non-Trekkers... Trekkers were the ones laughing; non-Trekkers were scratching their heads. For some reason this line cracks me up, even today.

Along Q's line of "eaten any good books lately?" Every time someone mentions this line, immediately I recall Lily's conversation with Picard about Moby Dick... where, after giving a very moving lecture which changes Picard's mind, she confesses she never read the book.

 

[Markas]

I loved the look on Decker's face when Kirk called him a lunatic.

"You will die of suffocation, in the icy cold of space." Kang in Day of the Dove

"Shut-up, Spock! We're rescuing you!"
"Why, thank you, CAPTAIN McCoy." McCoy and Spock in The Immunity Syndrome

"Now this is a drink for a man."
"Scotch?"
"Aye."
"It vas inwented by a little old lady from Lenningrad." Scotty and Chekov in The Trouble With Tribbles.

 

[Iamnotspock]

I thought Q said that to Picard in Encounter at Farpoint?

No, it was AGT.

Hmm. There was a similar exchange in Encounter at Farpoint where Picard asked if they (humanity) was going to be denied space travel. Q's response was that they would be denied existence.

Oh well..... Onward.

Nope, that was AGT, but that scene took place in Q's courtroom from EaF. Maybe that's why you're confusing the two?

 

[sbk1234]

I don't remember the episode. On DS9, when Bashier is talking to O'Brien, about how O'Brien didn't like him in the beginning. O'Brien comments something like "You're not a half-way sort of guy." or something like that. Help me out here, guys.

 

[John Picard]

No, it was AGT.

Hmm. There was a similar exchange in Encounter at Farpoint where Picard asked if they (humanity) was going to be denied space travel. Q's response was that they would be denied existence.

Oh well..... Onward.

Nope, that was AGT, but that scene took place in Q's courtroom from EaF. Maybe that's why you're confusing the two?

Rewatch EaF and you'll understand what I mean.

 

[Markas]

I just remembered one of my favorites:

"I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers" Kirk to Picard in Generations.

 

[SFRabid]

Shatner: "Get a life."

 

[Markas]

"You want to run away and blow up the ship, you coward!" Picard to Worf in Generations.

 

[Damask]

Odo: I'm watching your every move, Quark, so don't think you can get away with any law-breaking.
Quark Griffin: Yeah, yeah, whatever, man.
Odo: I mean it! You'll have me to deal with!
Quark Griffin: Ohhhh, I'm really scared.
Odo: I could morph into a giant python and eat you alive.
Quark Griffin: Hey, here's an idea: why don't you morph into a guy with something interesting to talk about?

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

"You want to run away and blow up the ship, you coward!" Picard to Worf in Generations.

Which leads into that classic: "If you were any other man, I'd kill you where you stand!"

And then there's Lily Sloane's entire speech, culminating in "Captain Ahab needs to go hunt his whale!"

 

[Marie1]

Good ones, people! Here's one of my favorite Sisko put-downs, and I think he said it to Weyoun, although I'll be damned if I remember the ep: "I don't like the Dominion, I don't like what it stands for, and I don't like you. So let's skip the pleasantries and stick to business." -- RR

Was that from DS9- In the Cards?

I liked Bashir, Odo and Quark from The Search:

O: Is this the best you can do?
B: I'm afraid so... Besides, we'd all feel a bit better with someone here to watch over Quark
O: I take that as a personal insult doctor.
B: You should.

 

[Jeri]

-"All right you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed, we'll see about you deserting my ship."

-"The term 'half-breed' is somewhat applicable, but 'computerized' is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man."

-"What makes you think you're a man? You're an overgrown jack rabbit, an elf with a hyperactive thyroid."

-"Jim, I don't understand."

-"Of course you don't understand. You don't have the brains to understand. All you have are printed circuits."

-"Captain, if you'll excuse me."

-"What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak, whose father was a computer and whose mother was an encyclopedia?"

-"My mother was a teacher, my father an ambassador."

-"Your father was a computer, like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity."

-"Captain, please don't."

-"You're a traitor from a race of traitors, disloyal to the core, rotten like the rest of your sub-human race – and you've got the gall to make love to that girl."

-"That's enough."

-"Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom instead of passing himself off as a man. You belong in a circus, Spock, not a starship – right next to the dog-faced boy."

- Kirk and Spock, "This Side of Paradise," (with thanks to Memory Alpha).

 

[LeadHead]

I think my favorite is Picard being questioned in "The Drumhead" by Admiral Satie. Using her own dead fathers words to blast her in full view of 50 people. That was robably one of Picard's best moments:

"You know, there are some words I've known since I was a schoolboy. 'With the first link, a chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrovocably.' Those words were spoken by Judge Aaron Satie. His wisdom, and warning that the first time any man's freedoms are curatailed, we're all damaged."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Harcourt! Harcourt Fenton Mudd!"

 

[Mike Farley]

"How can you be deaf with ears like that?"

 

[c0rnedfr0g]

"That green-blooded son of a bitch. It's his revenge for all those arguments he lost."
McCoy in ST3

"Mr. Data, shut up."
Picard in NEM

"Shut up, Wesley!"
Picard in "Where No One Has Gone Before"

 

[Markas]

I love that full scene in This Side of Paradise. Thanks for that one, Jeri.

"Now's as good a time as any to tell you. Your ceiling is hideous." Neelix in Phage

 

[JoeZhang]

"Emotional, isn't she?"
"She has always been that way."
"Indeed – why did you marry her?"
"At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."

 

[Red Ranger]

So many zingers, so little time . . .

In Journey to Babel, Sarek tears Ambassador Gav a new one, citing why Vulcan favors the Coridan admission and taking the Tellarites to task for stealing dilithium from the planet. Gav is ready to leave and tries to have the last word:

GAV: There will be payment for your slander, Sarek.
SAREK: Threats are illogical. And payment is usually expensive.

In This Side of Paradise, Sandoval tries to assign McCoy to a work detail, saying they have no need for doctors. McCoy gets up, throws the sprig of mint down on the ground, and says, "Oh, no? Do you want to see how fast I can put you in a hospital?"

Red Ranger