Being away from someone you love

[Joe Washington]

If I had a boyfriend and he went out of town for business, whether the trip would last for days or months I would have find difficult being on my own without him around to spend time with. What about you? If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend who was out of town on business, what you would be able to deal with that and how would you be able to deal with that?

 

[RJDiogenes]

I've got a girlfriend who's been away in San Antonio for seventeen years. I'm starting to get a little impatient with her.

 

[Kestra]

Everyone should be able to be okay on their own. It might not be ideal, but you should be able to rely on yourself and your own company and stand some time apart when necessary.

Is this for one of your stories?

 

[1001001]

I like my alone time. So no, I don't have a problem with it.

It's me that travels, though. Not her.

 

[judge alba]

my other half vists her family in japan at least three times a year for two to three weeks at a time. i miss her but i can get by with out her as well.
besides there always the internet to keep me occupied when i'm bored

 

[Finn]

If I had a boyfriend and he went out of town for business, whether the trip would last for days or months I would have find difficult being on my own without him around to spend time with. What about you? If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend who was out of town on business, what you would be able to deal with that and how would you be able to deal with that?

Um... Why are you asking?

As for me, I'll miss my fiancee and she'll miss me. But we will be fine as long as we email and text each other.

 

[Joe Washington]

The reason why I'm asking you guys this is to help with a story of mine. I'm wondering whether I should have a couple in the story take some time apart because of something business-related and explore how being away from each other affects them both.

 

[sidious618]

I've never gone out with anyone I didn't end up wanting to be away from.

 

[TerokNor]

I would have no problem with that at all... more the opposite. If my significant other would be there the whole time, hanging on my every step, now THAT would be something that would drive me crazy.

TerokNor

 

[Kestra]

The reason why I'm asking you guys this is to help with a story of mine. I'm wondering whether I should have a couple in the story take some time apart because of something business-related and explore how being away from each other affects them both.

How's that story coming?

 

[Joe Washington]

Somewhere between the writing stage and the planning/brainstorming stage.

 

[Kelso]

I've never gone out with anyone I didn't end up wanting to be away from.

This.

Well, with a little of the opposite mixed in.

 

[Finn]

The reason why I'm asking you guys this is to help with a story of mine. I'm wondering whether I should have a couple in the story take some time apart because of something business-related and explore how being away from each other affects them both.

What's the plot of the story?

 

[Joe Washington]

Other than the little I've shared already, I can't really give much away about the story's plot since you guys are strangers to me. No offense.

 

[sidious618]

The reason why I'm asking you guys this is to help with a story of mine. I'm wondering whether I should have a couple in the story take some time apart because of something business-related and explore how being away from each other affects them both.

What's the plot of the story?

I'm not sure but it seems to be ever expanding.

 

[Finn]

Other than the little I've shared already, I can't really give much away about the story's plot since you guys are strangers to me. No offense.

You are the one asking strangers a question about their personal life.

 

[Sparky]

Well I'm not the best expert here but I have been married 11 years.

A few days is no problem. Sometimes it is actually a relief to get away and just be apart. Being together 24/7 365 is just not healthy. Each party needs "down time" every now and then. If it were weeks then I'm sure my wife and I could handle it. It would suck because we would miss each other but If it was for the overall benefit of the job/family then we could deal. As for months? Unless those months included visits back home or me/her visiting the other person then hell no. I/We wouldn't have to deal because unless it was an "extreme" situation that just wouldn't happen.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

My husband of 12 years spends about one night away per week for the volunteer rescue squad. That poses no problem for either of us (although we make sure he takes his pillow with him). For a year or two before we got married we lived about an hour apart, but still managed to see each other 1-2x/week. Before marriage, I had a cat to keep me company (and now we have four thanks to my husband).

I have never suffered from homesickness, so about 3 years ago I agreed to a temporary tranfer to a city about 6 hours away for 15 weeks. I didn't go at home at all for the first 6 weeks because of work commitments & expense. I wanted to bring one of our cats, but the apartment management wouldn't allow it. It was a very miserable time for me, andit took me completely by surprise, since I wasn't prone to homesickness. But it was very bleak coming back to that apartment with no husband and no pets. One of the happiest days in my life was when my husband came to collect me at the end of that 15 weeks.

 

[Kestra]

I have never suffered from homesickness, so about 3 years ago I agreed to a temporary tranfer to a city about 6 hours away for 15 weeks. I didn't go at home at all for the first 6 weeks because of work commitments & expense. I wanted to bring one of our cats, but the apartment management wouldn't allow it. It was a very miserable time for me, andit took me completely by surprise, since I wasn't prone to homesickness. But it was very bleak coming back to that apartment with no husband and no pets. One of the happiest days in my life was when my husband came to collect me at the end of that 15 weeks.

I'm glad you got through that okay.

My husband is actually considering a job out in CA, and we live in Chicago right now. I've lived in this area my whole life and have so many memories and friends every place I go. The job could be a good opportunity for him though, so I told him we could do it if he wants.

The thing that sucks is that not only would we have to relocate across the country, but I would want to stay out here until at least June to finish school. That's the one non-negotiable thing. If he did move, he'd take the cat so it would be me coming home to an empty apartment every day.

We were long-distance the first four years of our relationship though, and I know lots of Indian couples who have spent the first years of their marriages halfway across the world from each other, and survived. I still remember my uncle living and working here while my aunt and baby cousin were back in India. I guess you do what you need to in order to make a better life.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

Thanks, Kestra. Everything did turn out okay, but I think one or two of the cats could have really eased the bleakness I felt coming back to that apartment at the end of the workday. I didn't have any friends in that other city, either which would have helped, too. As long as there is a definite time limit to the separation, I think that helps. I see military families and spouses every day survive much worse separations than I had. It is all perspective (which from reading your posts over the years...I know you have considerable perspective).