Bad Starship Names

[SJGardner]

In a Soviet elementary school, the pupils are asked to tell stories about Comrade Lenin's good deeds.
Little Mashenka is first: "When in the winter Comrade Lenin saw that his neighbors had no firewood, he went out to the forest to chop some logs for them himself." The teacher nods and compliments her.
Grishenka is second: "During the revolution, Comrade Lenin ordered his soldiers to always be polite and kind to women and children, and so they always treated them with respect." Grishenka gets his praise as well.
Then little Vanyusha raises his hand to speak: "When kids were playing football outside Comrade Lenin's study, they kicked the ball in through his window. Comrade Lenin yelled profanities at them, then cut the ball open with a springblade and threw it onto his house's roof."
The teacher looks at him in confusion: "But why is it a good deed, Vanyusha?"
"Well, ma'am, he could've had them shot, couldn't he?"

 

[1001001]

It is quite possible that Tȟašúŋke Witkó, or Crazy Horse, is a revered figure in Lakota Sioux history. But do you think that Crazy Horse is revered in Arikraa or Pawnee or Crow or Shoshone history? Or maybe members of those tribes or nations think of crazy Horse as a famous historic enemy of their ancestors.

And whether you think that someone historic fought for your people or against your people you should not rever them if they committed atrocities and war crimes. And just about all the Indian warriors west of the Mississippi - with the prominent exception of the Nez Perce in 1877 - didn't have any ethical objections to committing even the worst atrocities. For a modern Sioux to revere Crazy Horse becaus ehe fought for the glory of the Lakota is like Ensign Checkov revering Vladimir "Ras" Putin because Putin forught for the greater glory of Russia.

I also point out that leaders of most tribes and bands of the Lakota Sioux acknowledied the overlordshp of the Federal governmetn of the USA in ealrier treaties. And so when members of those bands attacked other subjects of the USA they were committing treason against the USA, just as all Rebel soldiers were committing treason.

And I think the US soldiers and officers and political leaders of the mid 19th century don't get nearly enough credit for their lenience and mercy. Not only did they crush the Southern Rebellion and the rebellions of many tribes in the west, but - with the exception of General Wright in 1858 - they did it without executing people for treason or excuting people for war war crimes against US soldiers, and only executed or imprisoned Indian warriors for crimes against civilians, and only in a minority of cases.

So I think that the 19th century USA doesn't get enough credit for its unusual degree of mercy which, for example, prevented Crazy Horse from being executed for treason or murder.

None of this is relevant to the point, or to Star Trek in general, which is par for the course with you.

As for the rest of this post, it is truly astonishing. Feel free to discuss Native American history, and how kind the US Army was to them, in an appropriate forum.

This is not one.

 

[BillJ]

I also point out that leaders of most tribes and bands of the Lakota Sioux acknowledied the overlordshp of the Federal governmetn of the USA in ealrier treaties. And so when members of those bands attacked other subjects of the USA they were committing treason against the USA, just as all Rebel soldiers were committing treason.

Yes, we should call people traitors who are forced under threat of violence to give up their land then renege on it.

So I think that the 19th century USA doesn't get enough credit for its unusual degree of mercy which, for example, prevented Crazy Horse from being executed for treason or murder.

Never heard of the blankets with Small Pox or the Trail of Tears among other atrocities. Lots of mercy was being handed out.

 

[somebuddyX]

My little gunship I'm going to build will be the U.S.S. Baghdad.

 

[Oddish]

I think there was a Trek ship called the Beagle. Named after Darwin's research ship, or after Archer's pooch?

 

[StarCruiser]

I read a remark once about that: "A woman finally gets to be captain, and they give her a ship named after a minivan."

Ever heard of a Plymouth "Reliant"? Look it up... (Love the U.S.S. Reliant but...?)

 

[Sci]

I don’t think the USS Malinche was the best choice for a starship name.

Agreed.

This is why I hate that there’s an Oberth class; guy was part of the Nazi war effort.

Funnily enough, the S.S. TSIOLKOVSKY - an Oberth Class vessel featured in the TNG episode The Naked Now - was named in honor of the Russian spaceflight theorist Konstantin Tsiolkovsky who was also, incidentally, a genocidal racist and eugenicist. I guess that @Mike Okuda didn’t exactly do his homework when it came to recommending spacecraft names to the TNG producers.

Well those are incredibly disappointing things to learn!

USS Nog.

I know out of show it was done to honour Aaron Eisenberg and I’m totally behind that, but in universe it’s a crap name for a starship.

It's a perfectly good name for a starship. Nog was the first Ferengi to join Starfleet -- he was a pioneer who broke down barriers. He was already an extremely accomplished officer in the latter seasons of DS9 and I'm sure his career after the show ended was even more accomplished.

From PIC season 2:

The CSS World Razer.

Really?

I mean, fascists and imperialists are fund of overly-violent names for their projects. *shrugs*

Of course, if we named a ship after the first living space traveler, it would not be the USS Alan Shepherd, or even the USS Yuri Gagarin... it would be the USS Laika.

Laika seems like the sort of name you give to a shuttlecraft or runabout attached to the USS Yuri Gagarin.

Even if the Aztecs he conquered weren't exactly saints themselves, I somehow still don't think Hernán Cortés is the kind of person who should be honored by the Federation Starfleet.

I completely agree. No way Starfleet would name a ship after an imperialist murdering bastard like him.

Yeah, I remember that. Even then, I thought it was the silliest starship name.

We've had shuttles and starships named after genocidal conquerors like Columbus and Cortez (although the latter is a rather common surname, so perhaps there was a more respectable historical figure with that name in the 21st or 22nd century).

I like to imagine that the USS Cortez is actually shorthand for the USS Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

It's debatable if they count, but Memory Alpha notes some okudagrams displaying shuttles named after Von Braun (who was a nazi) and Lindberg (who was a white supremacist and eugenicist, with a noted association with the nazi party himself)

Jesus fucking Christ.

It is quite possible that Tȟašúŋke Witkó, or Crazy Horse, is a revered figure in Lakota Sioux history. But do you think that Crazy Horse is revered in Arikraa or Pawnee or Crow or Shoshone history? Or maybe members of those tribes or nations think of crazy Horse as a famous historic enemy of their ancestors.

Or maybe he's regarded in the 24th Century the way figures like George Washington or Winston Churchill are starting to come to be regarded: People who did amazing things that deserve praise and memory, but also did terrible things that deserve condemnation. I'm sure Starfleet named the USS Crazy Horse -- and I would hope the ship is actually the USS Tȟašúŋke Witkó, just colloquially called the Crazy Horse -- to honor his fight against U.S. imperialism rather than in honor of harm he may have caused innocent people.

I understand them using the Crazy horse name but imagine a first contact where the alien runs that name through a universal translator.

I mean, most names would sound weird if you run their etymology through a translator. "The alien captain is Erica Johnson... Wait. How can her name be 'Eternal Female Monarch Who is the Son of the One Graced by the High Sky God?'"

 

[SJGardner]

I mean, most names would sound weird if you run their etymology through a translator. "The alien captain is Erica Johnson... Wait. How can her name be 'Eternal Female Monarch Who is the Son of the One Graced by the High Sky God?'"

Don't forget the bald guy, He Who is Graced by the High Sky God from the Land of Sacred Light (TRANSLATION MATRIX ERROR: etymology uncertain; alternative suggested: land-of-wolves, land-of-sacred-woods) Who is Somehow Also From the Land of the Woodpeckers.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Crazy Horse was named for the band along with it's sister ship the USS Neil Young.

 

[1001001]

The Crazy Horse was named for the band along with it's sister ship the USS Neil Young.

It’s better to burn out, than it is to rust…

 

[Nerys Myk]

"Long may you run"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I think there was a Trek ship called the Beagle. Named after Darwin's research ship, or after Archer's pooch?

Snoopy.

 

[cooleddie74]

The S.S. Beagle, a Class IV stardrive vessel commanded by R.M. Merrick.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Oh I like long and overwrought starship names like that. I always forget which book series it is, but there's a fictional universe where all the ships are named like that "The Ends Of Invention" and stuff like that.

The High Guard from Andromeda had some really cool names for its ship classes, such as Glorious Heritage (the Andromeda itself), Victory's Crucible, Siege Perilous, Four Freedoms, Asceticism of Action - I have absolutely no idea what that means, I just thought it sounded kinda neat - and my all time favorite, Righteous Fist of Heaven.

 

[StarCruiser]

There is a Starfleet ship in one of the novels called the USS Bill of Rights.

I mean, obviously that's a fine document in and of itself, just seems rather pretentious to name a SHIP after it.

Well - there was a French ship during the 1790's with basically the same type of name:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_ship_Droits_de_l'Homme_(1794)

 

[at Quark's]

Most of those names are still more apt than the name of the company cleaning the toilets at my previous working place - New Life. (No joke, that was their name for real)

Made me me a bit hesitant to use these toilets.

 

[Sci]

Snoopy.

Might be a problem if Starfleet ever names some starships after the Apollo 10 LEM Snoopy and CSM Charlie Brown.

 

[Mondragon]

I would prefer emphasis on discovery/exploration captains, innovators and vessels, over military vessels, captains and leaders.
Yet often at points in time, they were one and the same.

And even Stafleet still seems to blur those lines and missions.

 

[somebuddyX]

My first fan starship I ever designed when I was a kid was the U.S.S. Infidel and it bummed me out when I came to the realisation that it was probably not the best name for a starship.

 

[Forbin]

I named one of my early kitbashes USS Kirov, 'cause the name sounds cool and the Russian cruiser was a powerful, cool-looking ship, and only later found out who Kirov himself was. And then the Wall fell, and they changed the name of the actual ship, and I realized nobody 300 years in the future would probably name a ship after a prominent Soviet... Oh well.