Bad song lyrics

[Kirby]

I know this type of thread pops up from time to time, but I heard a song this past weekend that had such a horrible line in it, I had to post it.

The song was Who Says You Can't Go Home, which was a duet with Jon Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles and the line is:

I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold

The rest of the song wasn't so bad I guess, but holy crap that is one of the worst lines in a song I have ever heard.

I suppose it could be that nothing else fit there, and while I couldn't write a song to save my life, I would just shelve the song for a while until something better came up. If you're Bon Jovi do you want to equate your success to 'hijacking a rainbow?'

What other bad lyrics are out there?

 

[Kail]

Anything by Oasis.

 

[Chaos Descending]

"L-I-licky-C-K-licky-Y".

BARF!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-SSbwaXaKU

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Some lines are better as I hear them than when I actually find out what they are.

I can't think of any examples, making this post worthless...hmmm.

 

[Canadave]

I think I post this every time this topic pops up, but (much as I love the song) this line in Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" always stands out:

"As the big freighters go she was bigger than most"

It's like he was trying to think of a good analogy and then just gave up and left it as it was.

 

[Aragorn]

Taylor Swift's "Love Story" -- she apparently doesn't know what a scarlet letter is.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Yeah, usually I let bad lyrics slide but it is really noticeable to me in Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne songs.

"I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do"

Not bad in a ridiculous way, but bad in a, you really couldn't think of anything better than that?? sort of way.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Sometimes I get in a mood for country music (I know, I know) and boy are there some real stinkers in there sometimes.

I know this is meant to be cute but, well....

Watching You by Rodney Atkins (this has 5(!) credited songwriters)

Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.

A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word

It started with “S” and I was concerned
So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”

...

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, "Lord, please help me help my stupid self"

Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin' on my son's Scooby-doo night light
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees

...


And a message of sprituality from Josh Turner. Remember he rules the world with his staff and a rod but they're like two peas in a pod.

Me and God by Josh Turner

There ain't nothing that can't be done
By me and God
Ain't nobody come in between me and God
One day we'll live together
Where the angels trod
Me and God

Early in the morning talking it over
Me and God
Late at night talking it over
Me and God
You could say we're like two peas in a pod
Me and God

He's my Father
He's my friend
The beginning
And the end
He rules the world
With a staff and rod
We're a team
Me and God

I am weak and he is strong
Me and God
He forgives me when I'm wrong
Me and God
He's the one I lean on
When life gets hard
Me and God

 

[FordSVT]

Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak:

"Tonight theres gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town...."

Gee, I wonder where the jailbreak is going to be? The jail perhaps?

Oasis (take your pick I guess), Supersonic:

"I know a girl called Elsa
She's into Alka Seltzer
She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train"

I mean really, guys, how fucking drunk on hard liquor were you when you wrote that shit?

 

[Australis]

David Coverdale is a crap lyricist. First there were his solo albums, with the title song of one 'Whitesnake', and yes, it's all about his white snake and what a toolmeister he is. That trend continued with a large number of Whitesnake songs which were about, yes, his white snake. Much later, after his marriage broke up, he wrote what I consider to be a good set of songs for the album 'Restless Heart' which, for once, didn't involve his white snake.

What is a damn shame is that the music was often damn good rock.

I'll think of more, I'm sure.

 

[Mistral]

Bad lyrics abound. Maybe we should have a thread about superb lyrics-nah, it would be a struggle to flesh out.

 

[Timby]

Nick Cave is my favorite musician and I've loved almost everything he's ever created, but the Nocturama album was pretty awful, and one song in particular, "Rock of Gibraltar," is rather odious:

Let me say this to you
I’ll be steadfast and true
And my love will never falter

The sea would crash about us
The waves would lash about us
I’ll be your Rock of Gibraltar

Sometimes it’s hard
And we’re both caught off guard
But there’s nothing I would ever alter

The wind could howl round our ears
For the next thousand years
I’d still be your Rock of Gibraltar

The best thing I done
Was to make you the one
Who I’d walk with down to the altar

You’d stand by me
And together we’d be
That great, steady Rock of Gibraltar

Under the big yellow moon
On our honeymoon
I took you on a trip to Malta

And all through the night
You held me so tight
Your great, steady Rock of Gibraltar

Could the powers that be
Ever foresee
That things could so utterly alter?

All the plans that we laid
Could soon be betrayed
Betrayed like the Rock of Gibraltar

 

[Neroon]

"We Are the World" - it presented a noble goal to raise funds for the less fortunate. While the song itself is eminently forgettable, its lyrics are the worst part. Mangled scripture, banal analogies, ....... etc

 

[RoJoHen]

Yeah, usually I let bad lyrics slide but it is really noticeable to me in Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne songs.

"I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do"

Not bad in a ridiculous way, but bad in a, you really couldn't think of anything better than that?? sort of way.

I know the song. If it weren't for that last line, the verse would just be mediocre, but "I love the things that you do?" Good lord, that's retarded.

 

[The Borgified Corpse]

Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak:

"Tonight theres gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town...."

Gee, I wonder where the jailbreak is going to be? The jail perhaps?

Oh geez, everyone in the library is staring at me again...

"Captain Jack" by Billy Joel is pretty bad, made even worse by the fact that it's all sung in the 2nd person, so the drug-addled chronic masturbating protagonist of the song is YOU!

Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
You're tired of livin' in your one horse town
You'd like to find a little hole in the ground
For a while...

So you go to the village in your tie-dye jeans
And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens
It's like some pornographic magazine
And you smile...

But Captain Jack will get you high at night
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

Your sister's gone out, she's on a date
And you just sit at home and masturbate
Your phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can't wait
For that call...

So you stand on the corner in your new English clothes
And you look so polished from your hair down to your toes
But still your fingers gonna pick your nose
After all...

But Captain Jack will get you high at night
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you decide to take a holiday
You got your tape deck and your brand new Chevrolet
Ah but there's no place to go anyway
And what for...

You've got everything but nothing's cool,
They've just found your father in the swimming pool
And you guess you won't be going back to school
Anymore...

But Captain Jack can get you high at night
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you play your albums and you smoke your pot
And you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot
Oh, but still you're aching for the things you haven't got
What went wrong...

And if you can't understand why your world is so dead
And why you've got to keep in style and feed your head
Well, you're twenty-one and still your mother makes your bed
and that's too long...

 

[Nardpuncher]

Yeah, usually I let bad lyrics slide but it is really noticeable to me in Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne songs.

"I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do"

Not bad in a ridiculous way, but bad in a, you really couldn't think of anything better than that?? sort of way.

I know the song. If it weren't for that last line, the verse would just be mediocre, but "I love the things that you do?" Good lord, that's retarded.

They play Avril Lavigne at my gym all the time and yeah, you can guess her next rhyme before she sings it. Always rhyming with the word "you".

Don't forget Nickleback with all their fire and pain and pulling people out of fire and pain etc. etc.

 

[Nerys Myk]

I thought the lead singer just suffered from chronic constipation.

 

[The Great Meech]

Smashing Pumpkins, Disarm. The chorus starts off okay with

Used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes...

And then quickly gets stupid.

What I choose is my choice, what's a boy supposed to do?

Yes, Billy Corgan, the act of choosing means you have made a choice. You have correctly understood the English language. Hurray for you.

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

Smashing Pumpkins, Disarm. The chorus starts off okay with

Used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes...

And then quickly gets stupid.

What I choose is my choice, what's a boy supposed to do?

Yes, Billy Corgan, the act of choosing means you have made a choice. You have correctly understood the English language. Hurray for you.

Well, Corgan is a Rush fan, and this line sounds like a shallow play of the line Rush's Freewill: "If you choose not too decide, you still have made a choice." But I think the line is shallow and redundant. Oddly enough, Corgan was quite eloquent in his commentary on the Rush, Beyond the Lighted Stage documentary film

 

[gblews]

Bad lyrics abound. Maybe we should have a thread about superb lyrics-nah, it would be a struggle to flesh out.

Not to mention that undoubtedly someone's "superb" lyrics would be on someone else's bad lyrics list.