Bad Sexual Experiences?
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Well... first off let me preface this by saying I had just gotten to Ft. Lewis after 14 of OSUT (Infantry Basic Training).
So... we get to Lewis at around 2am on a Saturday. Catch a few hours of Zs and then jump on a bus to Seattle. No plan, half of us don't even have civvies, but we do have full wallets, dry throats, and raging hardons.
Bad combination now that I look back on it. It's a wonder no one died that first weekend.
Anyway, well I end up hooking up with a chick, she comes back to some hotel, we mess around and then her friend wants to go home (boo!). Well anyway, should have known chick was bad news when all that week she kept calling to find out when I was coming back up to Seattle, etc. etc. Eventually I quit answering my phone, and she called me 10-15 times that night.
BUT. She was cute enough, and it'd be warm and wet (I was very discriminating right out of Basic) so next weekend I was back there. And it was good. Girl was a fucking freak. I could pretty much do whatever whenever to her, which I did. Mutliple times. Well we did actually talk some and she talked about how much she loved soldiers, how she wanted to join up, but couldn't get clearance... something about stepfather being on a list or something (more about this later). I didn't really think about any this...
Maybe I was just too busy getting rid of 14 weeks of celibacy, or maybe I heard it but shut it out... I don't know... but fact is I didn't connect the dots... girls a fucking freak, step father on sex offender list.... hmmm....
Well it finally hit one time when I started some light spanking and then she GOT really into it. I mean REALLY. Cool... hey... I can do that... I'll pull hair...
Then it was slapping not spanking... and then chocking.... Then I had to tell her how much she liked it and how bad a girl she was.... then she started calling me daddy and saying some REALLY REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT.
Yeah. Sometime between all that and when I came the dots connected themselves.
And I felt like a bad man.
Like a really bad man. I felt dirty for just being a part of that, much less going along with the whole exercise.
After about a month I felt so bad I had to stop sleeping with her.... well that and I left for Iraq.
So... we get to Lewis at around 2am on a Saturday. Catch a few hours of Zs and then jump on a bus to Seattle. No plan, half of us don't even have civvies, but we do have full wallets, dry throats, and raging hardons.
Bad combination now that I look back on it. It's a wonder no one died that first weekend.
Anyway, well I end up hooking up with a chick, she comes back to some hotel, we mess around and then her friend wants to go home (boo!). Well anyway, should have known chick was bad news when all that week she kept calling to find out when I was coming back up to Seattle, etc. etc. Eventually I quit answering my phone, and she called me 10-15 times that night.
BUT. She was cute enough, and it'd be warm and wet (I was very discriminating right out of Basic) so next weekend I was back there. And it was good. Girl was a fucking freak. I could pretty much do whatever whenever to her, which I did. Mutliple times. Well we did actually talk some and she talked about how much she loved soldiers, how she wanted to join up, but couldn't get clearance... something about stepfather being on a list or something (more about this later). I didn't really think about any this...
Maybe I was just too busy getting rid of 14 weeks of celibacy, or maybe I heard it but shut it out... I don't know... but fact is I didn't connect the dots... girls a fucking freak, step father on sex offender list.... hmmm....
Well it finally hit one time when I started some light spanking and then she GOT really into it. I mean REALLY. Cool... hey... I can do that... I'll pull hair...
Then it was slapping not spanking... and then chocking.... Then I had to tell her how much she liked it and how bad a girl she was.... then she started calling me daddy and saying some REALLY REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT.
Yeah. Sometime between all that and when I came the dots connected themselves.
And I felt like a bad man.
Like a really bad man. I felt dirty for just being a part of that, much less going along with the whole exercise.
After about a month I felt so bad I had to stop sleeping with her.... well that and I left for Iraq.
I was going to post and say I had been lucky and not experienced any horror stories, but the above post reminds me of when I was asked to strangle somebody in the middle of things... "breath play" or something like that. I am someone whom BDSM scares the living daylights out of... 
Certainly made me land back to earth with a bang (and not in a good way 
). I do not like to mix a display of love with physical hurt. You can't spring that sort of shit on a person out of the clear blue sky! And it's true what they say - the quiet types are the freakiest, I would never have expected it of this person!
Certainly made me land back to earth with a bang (and not in a good way ). I do not like to mix a display of love with physical hurt. You can't spring that sort of shit on a person out of the clear blue sky! And it's true what they say - the quiet types are the freakiest, I would never have expected it of this person! 
You lucky bastard! Now, in the interests of full disclosure, I'm a preeminent muff-diver -- one women I did it to, when she was able to catch her breath after she came, said to me, "I want to chain you to my bed!" -- RR
I was about a minute into the act when I started to feel a stabbing pain in my penis with each thrust. I assumed that it would just go away and kept on trying for a few minutes, but my gf could tell that something was wrong so we agreed to stop. I withdrew and when I looked I saw that a vein on my penis was bulging because the condom seemed to be restricting the circulation. I couldn't go on after that because the whole region began to feel numb. The strange thing is that the same thing happened the next night, so it seems like I got a batch of condoms which were slightly smaller than normal. It freaked me out when it happened, I still have fears about the vein bursting at some point. 
No bad sexual experiences only good ones but I thought I'd share a story a friend shared with me. Her boyfriend wanted her to use a vibrator on him. Well needless to say things didn't go well and they somehow got it stuck up his ass and they ended up at the emergency room.
She said that the various technicians and nurses who went in there had to stifle a laugh because the damn thing was still vibrating but the most humiliating moment came when the er doctor came into the room briefly looked at his ass and noticed the batteries had run out of juice and the damn thing finally wasn't working anymore. The doc proceeded to ask him, "So, are you here to have it removed or do you just want me to put fresh batteries in it and send you on your way?"
Both of them were shocked by that bedside manner but I told her how else would you approach such a bizarre situation.
She said that the various technicians and nurses who went in there had to stifle a laugh because the damn thing was still vibrating but the most humiliating moment came when the er doctor came into the room briefly looked at his ass and noticed the batteries had run out of juice and the damn thing finally wasn't working anymore. The doc proceeded to ask him, "So, are you here to have it removed or do you just want me to put fresh batteries in it and send you on your way?"
Both of them were shocked by that bedside manner but I told her how else would you approach such a bizarre situation.
I'm not sure why I keep coming back and reading this thread... I'm trapped somewhere between thinking this stuff is hilarious and being scared to death of ever hooking up with anyone!
I had to stop midway threw page 4 -- just too much funny.
Man alive, I've been lucky. The worse thing I can say is I turned down a girl for sex once, when I found out she was doing drugs.
Have a friend who told me he once was with a girl. Her on his face (bakwards) and him licking her. She got so excited that she farted, letting out a little Whopper sized piece of poop onto his face. He zipped up and got the fuck out of there.
Having never had the pleassure of pleasing a girl in that position, I can say I learned an important lesson -- not face sitting backward -- just incase it's more than jsut a fart...
Man alive, I've been lucky. The worse thing I can say is I turned down a girl for sex once, when I found out she was doing drugs.
Have a friend who told me he once was with a girl. Her on his face (bakwards) and him licking her. She got so excited that she farted, letting out a little Whopper sized piece of poop onto his face. He zipped up and got the fuck out of there.
Having never had the pleassure of pleasing a girl in that position, I can say I learned an important lesson -- not face sitting backward -- just incase it's more than jsut a fart...
Well, in her defense, it does take a little getting used to... I know I didn't know what to expect the first time, and it took me a few times to start enjoying it.
Wouldn't you do that anyway, even if only by inference by the frequency of "Oh God"s?
Ah. Eating pineapple pizza earlier, were we?
There is no way delicate enough to explain to a girl that her vag smells. You really just have to hope that they'll notice it on their own. I tried bringing it up with a girl I dated years ago, even prefaced it with, "Now don't get upset, but I'm concerned that you may have a yeast infection..."and she got really mad. "Are you saying I stink?!?! Do I stink?!?!?!" It was to the point where there was this gross discharge when we would have sex, and I could smell it even through her clothes, like sitting in the car or at the movies. There would be this weird gunk dried on the crotch of her underwear that she'd leave around. She seemed completely oblivious. If I had some kind of ball fungus that stunk I'd be aware of it.
Going out with this woman I met from the internet, nice woman had a kid... first thing we got there and she pretty much jumped my bones. No worries there. Going down on her, her vagina made gurgling sounds... when she got really wet... it was kind of a turn off...
It was because when she had her kid they had to cut her open to to make the opening wider and it never really healed properly because they did not do the proper process to stengthen up the area after it healed up completely... Gurgle guuurgle guuurgle... OMFG... It made her a spurter too...
EEEK!
After almost a week of my internet being down, I'm finally back online. So naturally, the first thing I decided to do was find the latest sex thread in Misc! 
I don't have much to contribute, unfortunately (or rather, fortunately), certainly nothing that compares to some of the stories in this thread. I guess my worst sexual experience was the first one. I was out celebrating New Years Eve with a friend -- we met a couple of girls, and I started to get cozy with one of them (a first for me). Somehow, I persuaded her to go off with me for some alone time, but the only place we could really go was the back seat of my car (and let me tell you -- southern Ontario, late at night in the winter... not exactly ideal weather for automobile fun, but I wasn't about to let this opportunity slip by). So we go out to my car, fool around a bit, and she goes down on me, and... well, let's just say she wasn't that skilled in the art of fellatio. Actually, she was kind of rough -- my dick was sore for days afterward. I was rather disappointed; I had been led to believe that blowjobs were supposed to be much more enjoyable than that.
It was more than a year later before I had another one. Fortunately, the girl I was with that time knew exactly what she was doing, and by the end of the night, I was one happy camper.
I don't have much to contribute, unfortunately (or rather, fortunately), certainly nothing that compares to some of the stories in this thread. I guess my worst sexual experience was the first one. I was out celebrating New Years Eve with a friend -- we met a couple of girls, and I started to get cozy with one of them (a first for me). Somehow, I persuaded her to go off with me for some alone time, but the only place we could really go was the back seat of my car (and let me tell you -- southern Ontario, late at night in the winter... not exactly ideal weather for automobile fun, but I wasn't about to let this opportunity slip by). So we go out to my car, fool around a bit, and she goes down on me, and... well, let's just say she wasn't that skilled in the art of fellatio. Actually, she was kind of rough -- my dick was sore for days afterward. I was rather disappointed; I had been led to believe that blowjobs were supposed to be much more enjoyable than that.
It was more than a year later before I had another one. Fortunately, the girl I was with that time knew exactly what she was doing, and by the end of the night, I was one happy camper.
Walking in on my dad and his girlfriend on our couch!
Oh, you meant one involving me!
Probably when I got super-drunk and let an extremely overweight and unattractive (not saying all big women are unattractive here!) gal give me head. Afterwards, she told everybody there that her and I were an item. I had to graciously excuse myself and run like hell!
Oh, you meant one involving me!
Probably when I got super-drunk and let an extremely overweight and unattractive (not saying all big women are unattractive here!) gal give me head. Afterwards, she told everybody there that her and I were an item. I had to graciously excuse myself and run like hell!
Well, this didn't happen to me, but still, it's quite weird...
A friend of mine went back to his with a girl he'd met at a party. They'd gone and done the big nasty, and then the girl says she wants him to do something for her. It involves a towel, and some hot water. Not going to say exactly what happened, but long story short, he ended up crapping all over the bed.
The girl, rather than being disgusted, leaps onto the bed and begins rolling around and smothering herself with shite, apparently enjoying the experience of being covered in it quite a bit...
A friend of mine went back to his with a girl he'd met at a party. They'd gone and done the big nasty, and then the girl says she wants him to do something for her. It involves a towel, and some hot water. Not going to say exactly what happened, but long story short, he ended up crapping all over the bed.
The girl, rather than being disgusted, leaps onto the bed and begins rolling around and smothering herself with shite, apparently enjoying the experience of being covered in it quite a bit...
Well I'm certainly no where near the worst here, mine is kind of mild. Except that I almost died.
It's no secret that soon to be three years ago I went visited the US and my then long-distance girlfriend (commonly referred to as "the ex" or varations thereof). Somewhere she had the idea that we should have shower together. Fantastic idea by the way, great way for two nervous young people to learn about each other bodies and being close together. First one was great and was definetly going off to something more serious....except we had tickets to the local aquarium for a certain time and had to get going, but very reluctantly.
Flash forward to the second time. Things are not qorking quite as well for some reason at first but finally she lets off that she had this fantasy of me coming on her stomach. Well after some work, it was done. Clearly she liked it, but me on the other hand felt kinda dizzy and just about time to say "I don't feel soo good..." before my lights went out.
What followed was one of those odd occasions when a longs series of events seems to be happenening. I had time to think that perhaps I was dreaming, that I did not want to dream, that it would be terrible to wake up at home, all while i see in flashes of a few frames my ex standing with a shocked look and getting further away. Simply I had a blackout with bits of perception in it and all that I experience took about the two seconds it took for me to fall backwards in the tub and fall on my ass.
I come to after a second or so and interstingly enough have the brain capacity enough to realise that it's best to talk in English and not Swedish and what the hell happened. We quickly mas sure I was okay. I had somehow managed to miss the metal railing and thus avoided to crack my skull, I wasn't even bleeding. I was not dead but the mood certainly was. We came to the conclusion that it was probably because of the warm water and the excitment that I fainted. And that's about as close as I got with that girl As close I've gotten with any girl as a matter of fact.
But I do wish to add that to the whole "quite ones" theorem. I'm pretty mildmannered, but I know that when I finally do find someone that put ups with me and is willing to go for several rolls in the hay, it's gonna be wild.
It's no secret that soon to be three years ago I went visited the US and my then long-distance girlfriend (commonly referred to as "the ex" or varations thereof). Somewhere she had the idea that we should have shower together. Fantastic idea by the way, great way for two nervous young people to learn about each other bodies and being close together. First one was great and was definetly going off to something more serious....except we had tickets to the local aquarium for a certain time and had to get going, but very reluctantly.
Flash forward to the second time. Things are not qorking quite as well for some reason at first but finally she lets off that she had this fantasy of me coming on her stomach. Well after some work, it was done. Clearly she liked it, but me on the other hand felt kinda dizzy and just about time to say "I don't feel soo good..." before my lights went out.
What followed was one of those odd occasions when a longs series of events seems to be happenening. I had time to think that perhaps I was dreaming, that I did not want to dream, that it would be terrible to wake up at home, all while i see in flashes of a few frames my ex standing with a shocked look and getting further away. Simply I had a blackout with bits of perception in it and all that I experience took about the two seconds it took for me to fall backwards in the tub and fall on my ass.
I come to after a second or so and interstingly enough have the brain capacity enough to realise that it's best to talk in English and not Swedish and what the hell happened. We quickly mas sure I was okay. I had somehow managed to miss the metal railing and thus avoided to crack my skull, I wasn't even bleeding. I was not dead but the mood certainly was. We came to the conclusion that it was probably because of the warm water and the excitment that I fainted. And that's about as close as I got with that girl
As close I've gotten with any girl as a matter of fact.But I do wish to add that to the whole "quite ones" theorem. I'm pretty mildmannered, but I know that when I finally do find someone that put ups with me and is willing to go for several rolls in the hay, it's gonna be wild.
I didn't post about this earlier, but now I feel compelled to.
Seven years ago, I was hanging out at the bar I went to on a Saturday night. This guy - not terribly attractive, but I've never gotten a lot of action so I wasn't feeling picky - started chatting me up, and we started making out at the bar. I took him home, and we did what came naturally.
He asked me to get him a glass of water, and when I came back into the room, he had been standing next to the bed, and he dove back onto it. I gave him the water, and after he drank it, I laid down next to him and we kissed a little while longer. Every time I tried to reach up over his head, he pulled my hands back down, but I didn't think anything of it.
About half an hour later, he said he had to leave, so I took his water glass back to the kitchen while he got dressed. He left, and I went to sleep.
The next day I was getting ready to go out and went to get my wallet... and it was gone. I knew I'd had it the night before because I'd paid for the cab back to my place, and my building is opened by a key card that I've always kept in my wallet. So we couldn't have gotten into the building if I'd left my wallet downtown or in the cab. So obviously he'd stolen it - which explains why he kept grabbing my hands. He didn't want me discovering that he'd hidden it under the pillow because I'd come back into the room too quickly for him to stash it.
Anyway, I filed a police report. I'd had his full name because he'd been bragging about how his father was a famous Canadian journalist and how Margaret Wente, a Globe and Mail columnist, was a friend of his. However, the police never did a thing.
I was reminded of the whole thing this weekend when I picked up the newspaper. There's been a court case here about an HIV-positive man not telling the women he's been sleeping with, and infecting them. Well, the aforementioned Margaret Wente's column was on the front page of the Globe on Saturday, and it was all about this case.
Guess whose picture was on the front page?
Seems he's positive - which he hadn't mentioned at the time. He was diagnosed seven years ago - which corresponds to when I met him. And here this columnist is holding him up as a paragon of virtue because he now believes in always disclosing your HIV status to your partners.
(Just to finish the story... I hadn't been tested in about 11 years, since I found out that my ex-husband was cheating on me. Fortunately, I had asked for a test as part of the blood work that was being done recently in relation to another health issue I'm dealing with, and it came back negative. Either he wasn't infected until after we met, or I got lucky.)
Seven years ago, I was hanging out at the bar I went to on a Saturday night. This guy - not terribly attractive, but I've never gotten a lot of action so I wasn't feeling picky - started chatting me up, and we started making out at the bar. I took him home, and we did what came naturally.
He asked me to get him a glass of water, and when I came back into the room, he had been standing next to the bed, and he dove back onto it. I gave him the water, and after he drank it, I laid down next to him and we kissed a little while longer. Every time I tried to reach up over his head, he pulled my hands back down, but I didn't think anything of it.
About half an hour later, he said he had to leave, so I took his water glass back to the kitchen while he got dressed. He left, and I went to sleep.
The next day I was getting ready to go out and went to get my wallet... and it was gone. I knew I'd had it the night before because I'd paid for the cab back to my place, and my building is opened by a key card that I've always kept in my wallet. So we couldn't have gotten into the building if I'd left my wallet downtown or in the cab. So obviously he'd stolen it - which explains why he kept grabbing my hands. He didn't want me discovering that he'd hidden it under the pillow because I'd come back into the room too quickly for him to stash it.
Anyway, I filed a police report. I'd had his full name because he'd been bragging about how his father was a famous Canadian journalist and how Margaret Wente, a Globe and Mail columnist, was a friend of his. However, the police never did a thing.
I was reminded of the whole thing this weekend when I picked up the newspaper. There's been a court case here about an HIV-positive man not telling the women he's been sleeping with, and infecting them. Well, the aforementioned Margaret Wente's column was on the front page of the Globe on Saturday, and it was all about this case.
Guess whose picture was on the front page?
Seems he's positive - which he hadn't mentioned at the time. He was diagnosed seven years ago - which corresponds to when I met him. And here this columnist is holding him up as a paragon of virtue because he now believes in always disclosing your HIV status to your partners.
(Just to finish the story... I hadn't been tested in about 11 years, since I found out that my ex-husband was cheating on me. Fortunately, I had asked for a test as part of the blood work that was being done recently in relation to another health issue I'm dealing with, and it came back negative. Either he wasn't infected until after we met, or I got lucky.)
You jumped on Mr Bonz's back and yelled "HORSIE RIDE" too?
We had something similar happen, except it was an early morning shower and our oldest woke up early that day.
You can't put that out there and not deliver.
This is easily one of the funniest things I've ever read on TBBS.
