Attack of the Runaway Chicken

[Goji]

I live in a small town. It's literally just one intersection, and then some houses down one of the roads. There aren't any farms nearby, none that I am aware of anyway (and I've been around this area for 8 years now). Which is why the appearance of one stray chicken over the past couple weeks has been somewhat baffling to me.

I first noticed the thing around Thanksgiving, and I thought it was strange but expected the creature to either be caught by its owner or be eaten by something rather quickly. But it's still around. And it seems to show up all over the place, too.

This afternoon I found it in our backyard. My parents put bird seed on the ground to feed a group of wild quail, and the chicken was making the most of their leftovers. As I was sitting there watching it, my cat appeared and took an interest in the chicken. My cat, being around the same size as the bird, didn't look like he was seriously considering trying to take it down.

But the mere presence of my cat was enough to piss this bird off something fierce, because it darted straight for my cat and started chasing it all over the yard. I had to chase the thing out of our yard to save my cat from getting pecked to death. I brought my cat inside and went back to what I was working on.

A few hours later I took a walk to get some food from the local store. On my way back, I saw the chicken sitting on the fence that separates our property from our neighbors'. It didn't move or make any sound as I approached. It was just sitting there. Watching me. Waiting.

I think the message is clear. It knows where I live. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm about to be murdered in my sleep by deranged runaway poultry.

 

[RoJoHen]

It wants to mate with you.

 

[Namikaze]

I live in a small town. It's literally just one intersection, and then some houses down one of the roads. There aren't any farms nearby, none that I am aware of anyway (and I've been around this area for 8 years now). Which is why the appearance of one stray chicken over the past couple weeks has been somewhat baffling to me.

I first noticed the thing around Thanksgiving, and I thought it was strange but expected the creature to either be caught by its owner or be eaten by something rather quickly. But it's still around. And it seems to show up all over the place, too.

This afternoon I found it in our backyard. My parents put bird seed on the ground to feed a group of wild quail, and the chicken was making the most of their leftovers. As I was sitting there watching it, my cat appeared and took an interest in the chicken. My cat, being around the same size as the bird, didn't look like he was seriously considering trying to take it down.

But the mere presence of my cat was enough to piss this bird off something fierce, because it darted straight for my cat and started chasing it all over the yard. I had to chase the thing out of our yard to save my cat from getting pecked to death. I brought my cat inside and went back to what I was working on.

A few hours later I took a walk to get some food from the local store. On my way back, I saw the chicken sitting on the fence that separates our property from our neighbors'. It didn't move or make any sound as I approached. It was just sitting there. Watching me. Waiting.

I think the message is clear. It knows where I live. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm about to be murdered in my sleep by deranged runaway poultry.

Goji, since you love Japan, there is a great Cooking Show on Youtube, hosted by a talking dog that has some great Japanese recipes. But if you fry it, just call KFC, they use 11 herbs and spices, I am sure they'd give pointers! Just save me some!

P.S. The cooking show is entitled Cooking with Dog.

 

[Gov Kodos]

So, you expect to be a victim of fowl play, or maybe this character just wants to see if you'll chicken out from the egging you're getting?

 

[RJDiogenes]

I've noticed that chickens have been becoming more aggressive ever since they found out they are descended from dinosaurs.

 

[Miss Chicken]

You should learn how to hypnotise chickens and make them do your bidding.

My sister use to hypnotise our chickens all the time, I could see no rel point in doing it however.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

That was not a chicken. That was evil manifest.

 

[Spot's Meow]

You know, I've been having strange animal encounters lately too. First there's the group of very large turkeys that wanders about the parking lot of my workplace, scampering up the hoods of people's cars and darting into the lanes when you least expect it. Keep in mind this is a highly populated area, not a place turkeys normally go galavanting. But, interestingly, I haven't seen them since Thanksgiving....

More strange was the other day when the sky was dark and dreary. I walk out of the building after work and look up to see tons of black birds circling overhead...not just a flock or two, I mean the whole sky as far as I could see was filled with them. It was a lot of fricken birds, very creepily hovering over me. So then I look back down and as I walk forward a small jack rabbit runs across my path and darts into a bush. A jack rabbit?! I've never seen one of those around here before, it was very peculiar. The whole incident left me feeling quite uneasy.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Did he happen to mention that he was late, that he was late for a very important date?

 

[Bob Karo]

Hm. Is it a gaming cock? Theose things can get kinda full of themselves and think they can take on people. Had a loose one come up behind me and sink a spur into the back of my leg one time. Suprised the hell out of me.

In any case: Make a Roux. Ring its neck. Clean it. Make a gumbo.

 

[scotpens]

Well, that chicken sure had a lot of pluck.

. . . More strange was the other day when the sky was dark and dreary. I walk out of the building after work and look up to see tons of black birds circling overhead...not just a flock or two, I mean the whole sky as far as I could see was filled with them. It was a lot of fricken birds, very creepily hovering over me.

You didn’t happen to see this gentleman hanging around, did you?

You should learn how to hypnotise chickens and make them do your bidding.

My sister use to hypnotise our chickens all the time, I could see no rel point in doing it however.

Could she hypnotize a chicken into thinking it was a human?

 

[MANT!]

You know, I've been having strange animal encounters lately too. First there's the group of very large turkeys that wanders about the parking lot of my workplace, scampering up the hoods of people's cars and darting into the lanes when you least expect it. Keep in mind this is a highly populated area, not a place turkeys normally go galavanting. But, interestingly, I haven't seen them since Thanksgiving....

More strange was the other day when the sky was dark and dreary. I walk out of the building after work and look up to see tons of black birds circling overhead...not just a flock or two, I mean the whole sky as far as I could see was filled with them. It was a lot of fricken birds, very creepily hovering over me. So then I look back down and as I walk forward a small jack rabbit runs across my path and darts into a bush. A jack rabbit?! I've never seen one of those around here before, it was very peculiar. The whole incident left me feeling quite uneasy.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjj32CavzU0[/yt]

 

[Showdown]

A few hours later I took a walk to get some food from the local store. On my way back, I saw the chicken sitting on the fence that separates our property from our neighbors'. It didn't move or make any sound as I approached. It was just sitting there. Watching me. Waiting.

I think the message is clear. It knows where I live. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm about to be murdered in my sleep by deranged runaway poultry.

I think it just wants more bird seed.