Asylum's "PRINCESS OF MARS"
- Thread starter bionicbob
- Start date
I know... I know.....
Asylum's stuff is terrible. But sometimes terrible can be fun.
And I guess a tiny, tiny part of me hopes there might be something redeemable in this very first time adaptation of ERB's Barsoom series. Heck, it can't be worst than some of the horrific Tarzan movies from the 50s and 60s..... can it???
Asylum's stuff is terrible. But sometimes terrible can be fun.
And I guess a tiny, tiny part of me hopes there might be something redeemable in this very first time adaptation of ERB's Barsoom series. Heck, it can't be worst than some of the horrific Tarzan movies from the 50s and 60s..... can it???
I got one of those deals at Blockbuster where you can rent all you want so I picked it up. (I know, I know) It's Asylum...you know it's bad.
John Carter has been updated as a warrior in Afghanistan who somehow is transmitted by the military to Mars-216, a planet suspected to have life. It's all very fuzzy.
JC is super strong and can make huge leaps via extremely dodgy CGI. He does meet a (two-armed) Tars Tarkas and they even have Sola in there.
The best FX and these are dodgy as well are a ROTJ-style floating barge and some two-legged mounts. The worst as Traci Lords explains in the making of feature involves "flying in a fucking kayak", actually the FX of flying is OK but they're in a fucking kayak with a fin on it.
Speaking of Traci, though she looks fit for her age she doesn't really come across as "Dejah Thoris" and the script doesn't really try to.
Eventually it devolves into everything revolving around some air processing station and some Afghani bad guy who also ended up there (again I'm fuzzy on that).
It's a very chaste film as well, you'd figure The Asylum could at least deliver there where the Disney film would not. At least Corman or Troma would have made it low-budget and crap as well but with some fun trashy elements.
John Carter has been updated as a warrior in Afghanistan who somehow is transmitted by the military to Mars-216, a planet suspected to have life. It's all very fuzzy.
JC is super strong and can make huge leaps via extremely dodgy CGI. He does meet a (two-armed) Tars Tarkas and they even have Sola in there.
The best FX and these are dodgy as well are a ROTJ-style floating barge and some two-legged mounts. The worst as Traci Lords explains in the making of feature involves "flying in a fucking kayak", actually the FX of flying is OK but they're in a fucking kayak with a fin on it.
Speaking of Traci, though she looks fit for her age she doesn't really come across as "Dejah Thoris" and the script doesn't really try to.
Eventually it devolves into everything revolving around some air processing station and some Afghani bad guy who also ended up there (again I'm fuzzy on that).
It's a very chaste film as well, you'd figure The Asylum could at least deliver there where the Disney film would not. At least Corman or Troma would have made it low-budget and crap as well but with some fun trashy elements.
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