Are we getting ruder?

[USS Triumphant]

I find most people to still be polite, and I, personally, am polite and considerate - probably to a fault. In the last couple of years, I've been shaken down for two bus fares to Atlanta, and a few meals for different people, that I was left feeling like the people didn't really need help - they just wanted someone else to pay.

The one thing I know has changed that I regularly regret is the ability to feel safe in just stopping and helping people. Unfortunately, you never know if someone you don't know who is asking you for help is just trying to shake you down for money or favors they don't actually need (at best) or hoping to get the opportunity to hurt or kill you. I've made it a rule of thumb not to stop to help people who are asking. If you're broke down beside the road and look like you're either just sitting there helpless, or like you're trying to take care of the problem yourself, then I'll stop. But try to flag me down , hold out a thumb, or hold up a sign, and I'll pass you up.

 

[kimc]

Back to nature or nature, and which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A circle has no beginning.

Personally I believe it's nurture. We are all born believing that the world revolves around us. (Observe your average three-year-old). Some of us have parents that make it clear to us that it's not all about us. Some of us have to learn that lesson the hard way. Some never get it.

 

[Amaris]

I find most people to still be polite, and I, personally, am polite and considerate - probably to a fault. In the last couple of years, I've been shaken down for two bus fares to Atlanta, and a few meals for different people, that I was left feeling like the people didn't really need help - they just wanted someone else to pay.

The one thing I know has changed that I regularly regret is the ability to feel safe in just stopping and helping people. Unfortunately, you never know if someone you don't know who is asking you for help is just trying to shake you down for money or favors they don't actually need (at best) or hoping to get the opportunity to hurt or kill you. I've made it a rule of thumb not to stop to help people who are asking. If you're broke down beside the road and look like you're either just sitting there helpless, or like you're trying to take care of the problem yourself, then I'll stop. But try to flag me down , hold out a thumb, or hold up a sign, and I'll pass you up.

Yeah, I feel the same way sometimes. There are people sitting on the side of the road I want to help but something in my gut tells me it's not wise to stop. I hate that feeling.

J.

 

[FordSVT]

Yeah, well that's just Canada. Everyone's polite. And eats flapjacks.

Personally, I am still polite as I have ever been (i.e. very), but my patience has been reduced. My politeness ends when people start being abrasively stupid.

Bingo for me, also. I am very polite. However, due to rampant stupidity flooding from all sides, my patience has become much shorter. I was practically the Ned Flanders of patience and politeness, and it's wearing off because, truly, the level of stupidity and apathy I'm seeing is just off the chart.

As for being ruder? Yes, I think society is ruder, but I think it's because people simply don't care anymore, rather than any malevolent reason.

J.

I agree. I don't think people are meaner or malevolent, they're just too often in a big hurry (or at least they think they are).

No shortage of polite people and door-holders where I live though.

 

[Tim]

I used to be more kind and polite, but after having played doormat a couple of times, I am less nice now. It's chiefly manifested as a low tolerance for stupidity, incompetence, or rudeness from others.

 

[Kestra]

I'm with blab on the whole rosy glasses of yesteryear thing. I don't think people are generally getting ruder. Perhaps we are going through a period where we are struggling as a society to come up with standards of etiquette concerning many technological advancements (email and cell phones come to mind).

I still encounter people who are courteous and those that act without much consideration for others. I find that a simple smile and a few kind words can make a great difference to me, so I try to offer the same to others. I don't know if it matters much to anyone else, but it doesn't take much effort on my part.

 

[Chimpy Chompy]

Are people ruder? Maybe? I sometimes wonder if this goes in cycles, and maybe the 50s\60s were some high point that older folks recall.

Or maybe nothing really changes.

I think internet communications should be looked at separately, as there are whole other considerations there based on our separation from those we interact with.

also everyone fuck off

sorry that was rude

sorry!

 

[RoJoHen]

Nothing makes me happier than common courtesy. So many people are too unconcerned with the way they treat others.

 

[MetalPants]

I read an article yesterday on Yahoo that in a survey of workplace politeness, Americans and Britons were the most sensitive about politeness while Australians were hands down the rudest.

 

[bluedana]

I think we are getting ruder, as a society.

We can can anonymously insult people we've never met by just writing something on the internet, when we'd never say such a thing to a person's face. We text to each other in shorthand so that Thank you and please literally cost money to say. We say we're discussing an issue when we're really just posting our opinions, and ignoring a thread when someone says something we disagree with.

We live much more isolated lives, so where 20 or 30 years ago we understood that it takes a village to raise a child, and your friend's mom kept an eye on you when your mom was not around - and corrected you when you needed it - now we're more inclined to say, Not my kid. Especially if we believe that kid's parents are going to rake us over the coals for interfering.

I listen to my 21 year old foster daughter talk to her fiance, and it's like listening to sitcom dialogue. She says things that are snappy and mean, but since there's no laugh track and no quick cut to the next scene, it's just rude. And neither one of them gets that this isn't how people talk to each other in real life, especially people who love each other enough to decide to get married. But all she knows is TV, and rudeness is normal. Ditto for little kids: they parrot dialogue they hear on TV, and as a parent, I'm constantly on rudness patrol.

I'm not putting all the blame on TV, or on the internet, but people mimic what they hear and read and think it's acceptable. Every generation has its catchphrases, and they're often pretty insulting.

The sad part, for me, is that people don't expect non-rude behavior. I tend to pause, smile, and then order my coffee (for example) with a Good morning, may I please have, instead of stepping up to the counter and saying, I want a . . . And most time, it completely throws the person off, like they don't know how to respond to Good morning anymore. One lady practically burst into tears when I told my son to offer her his seat on the bus.

I'm not that old, but I can certainly see a difference in attitude and expectation over my lifetime.

 

[Meredith]

Dammit go to hell, no one wants to hear your lousy stupid opinion!!!!!! <sarc>

 

[sidious618]

I think the "Rosy Covered Glasses" of yesteryear really influences a lot of those articles.

Some people always claim it was better in the old days. It seemed like everyone back then lived to be 200, was a perfect size, and lived in a Utopia. Then some latest horror was invented and it destroyed society (say HFCS or DDT or Gen Yers). Personally I will still hold doors for people, have had people offer me seats or help me with things if I drop them.

I don't think human nature changed in a generation as people think, it's just that it's pretty boring to write an article about how some people in the past were total bastards sometimes and not much has changed.

Completely correct.

 

[An Officer]

I read an article yesterday on Yahoo that in a survey of workplace politeness, Americans and Britons were the most sensitive about politeness while Australians were hands down the rudest.

I sometimes watch the Airport and Nothing to Declare fly on the wall TV shows, along with the American one, which I cannot recall for the life of me... And the Australians officials always shock me with how absolutely abrasive they are, not to mention loud (which unnecessarily draws the attention of other travelers). I'm sure it's not a policy of rudeness or anything like that, but the cultural divide gets some getting used to!

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

I just hate old people because they are stealing my money in a program that I'll never see!

Actually most people think I'm absolutely insane because I am friendly most of the time but also have that, "is he a psychopath nice or is he just nice?" kind of aura around me. So they keep sharp things away from me just in case but they enjoy my company because I make people smile.

 

[Captain X]

If young people and their new-fangled technology are the reason why society is supposedly becoming ruder, then why are the most rude people I've ever met over 50?

 

[Red Ranger]

Yes. Now, all of you, go f**k yourselves and the horses you rode in on! -- RR