Do things like offering a seat to an elderly person on a train still matter or is it now okay to think only of ourselves? When we insult each other online or in person are we simply exercising our rights to "free speech" or should we be taking responsibility for the consequences of our actions? There have been a number of articles in the press recently about society becoming ruder so this has been on my mind for a while. I'm hoping we can get some good discussion here.
I've nothing to base this on but my own small experience, but I think this lack of politeness is being caused in part by how much more crowded our cities are getting. I've lived in London for a while and I've lived in Belfast (tiny compared to London but still busy) and there was a lot of impatience and impoliteness, but now I've moved to Saskatoon in Saskatchewan, Canada, which (at least up in the north end where I live) is widely spaced and very little crowding - the rush hour lasts maybe five minutes and is nothing compared to Belfast or London! - and here most people still take the time to be polite, they say thank you, they hold open doors. When you have a lot of people in a small space you either get rude, impatient people looking out only for themselves or you get the repression of Japan - where they've created fixed patterns of politeness in order to survive living so close together.
Yeah, well that's just Canada. Everyone's polite. And eats flapjacks. Personally, I am still polite as I have ever been (i.e. very), but my patience has been reduced. My politeness ends when people start being abrasively stupid.
I think the "Rosy Covered Glasses" of yesteryear really influences a lot of those articles. Some people always claim it was better in the old days. It seemed like everyone back then lived to be 200, was a perfect size, and lived in a Utopia. Then some latest horror was invented and it destroyed society (say HFCS or DDT or Gen Yers). Personally I will still hold doors for people, have had people offer me seats or help me with things if I drop them. I don't think human nature changed in a generation as people think, it's just that it's pretty boring to write an article about how some people in the past were total bastards sometimes and not much has changed.
Well the assertion is certainly true... I couldn't speak with authority about the exact cause. I think parenting has something to do with it... and technology like cell phones seem to be a contributing factor.
I know. Its those damned kids and their crazy walkie talkies they carry around, and that series of tubes they calls the internetz. When I was a kid we respected our elders!!!!
Funny you say that. Yesterday on the radio news, they were discussing a study comparing the perceptions of Americans and Canadians to each other. Americans typically thought of Canadians as docile, polite and generally "boring" people. The Canadian perception of Americans, in general according to this study, is that they are uneducated and obnoxious. Now I live close to the Washington state border and am in the US reasonably often (I also lived in California when I was little) and I'd say it's fair to say there's assholes on both sides of the line. It was an interesting story to say the least.
Who wants to know? Nunya bizness. Keep asking so many questions, you might get hurt. Being polite and friendly is nice, but I equate excessive politeness with being phoney. Don't butter me up with kindness when I know you don't give a shit. The money is on the dresser; get the fuck out! And the inconstitent politeness...ever wait in line at a store, notice that the cashier was "how are you?/have a nice day" to the person in front of you, but when you are checking out the cashier is not that way with you? "What the fuck did I do?"
I have no idea if we are ruder, but something I have noticed especially when I was in college is that technologies like the iPod, cell phones, etc have the unintentional affect of isolating people from one another in public. Many walk around as if no one else matters. I don't know if that is rudeness, because I don't think it is intentional, but if you are just observing it could be interpreted that way.
I agree completely. Do people really think that, in ages past, people went around all nice and friendly like you see in period movies and novel? No way. People were always obnoxious, foul mouther and rude to each other.
People aren't brought up with as much affection and familial nurture as they used to be. A lot of kids are now brought up by daycare/nanny's, and not breastfed as long as they need to be. The problem of rudeness, general poor manners, disdain for the sick/elderly/weaker members of society, addictions, and many other issues, is both physiological and psychological. We are all much more time poor than we used to be, even though we may have more "stuff". When parents get home, they are often tired, mentally and physically, too many might throw twenty bucks at the kid, and tell them to go enjoy themselves, just so they can have a little peace and rest. Much of key parenting has been lost. Family teaching and values are extremely important for the shaping and development of a child. What we now have are too many "broken" adults. It's sad, when a mother of a newborn has to go back to work after just giving birth, because the family can no longer survive on a single income. Where is the bonding? The breastfeeding? The play? The contact with the grandparents? The inter-dependence of the extended family? The result is, we are all much less socialise, although we might be surrounded by people, they are often strangers, there only to pick up their own paychecks. Money CAN be the root of all evil.
You mean that back in the day, you didn't walk down the street and know and greet everyone by name and ask them about their kids??? And there wasn't an adorably rough 10 year old on the corner, cracking jokes and saying "aww shuks mister, want to buy this paper"??? My worldview is crushed....
Politeness was drummed into me at an early age. I get the door for people, offer to help them carry awkward items, greet them with a "sir" or "ma'am" unless they prefer to be addressed otherwise... *shrug* It certainly doesn't hurt to be polite and I can think of a couple of opportunities that came my way over the years because of it. I see the breakdown in politeness as a function of the media. Those kinds of people are not often seen on TV or in gaming media, the rough and rude action-dood/doodett is more the normal... as is the witty cutting-remark rather than a kind word.
Bingo for me, also. I am very polite. However, due to rampant stupidity flooding from all sides, my patience has become much shorter. I was practically the Ned Flanders of patience and politeness, and it's wearing off because, truly, the level of stupidity and apathy I'm seeing is just off the chart. As for being ruder? Yes, I think society is ruder, but I think it's because people simply don't care anymore, rather than any malevolent reason. J.
Nonsense. If anything, kids have too much affection from their parents these days and not enough discipline. And this notion that some perception of increased rudeness (of which I have yet to see any evidence) is because of working mothers is also complete nonsense.
Personal choice on the matter is what counts the most. Either you choose to be rude, or you choose to be polite. Upbringing can be a contributing factor yes, but not a decisive one. In the end, once we reach an age where we become aware of certain aspects and can make sound choices on a subject matter, it boils down to what we choose. Can't blame the upbringing or technology for this really. I grew up in a fairly rude environment where people have a tendency of swearing on a regular basis. My sister's godfather was constantly using swears whenever he'd be talking with someone for example. Oh ... both my sister and me were taught not to be rude in public, but that had a tendency of backfiring a lot for everyone. I was similar to my family up until the age of 18, but then decided to trash all of that down the drain. I deemed swears and similar aspects as completely unnecessary and eliminated them through meditation (along with gaining high level of emotional control which completely changed me). There are much more civilized ways (that are relative depending on individual) of making a point without resorting to crude language (which I personally find annoying) or dealing with emotions without losing control (although society seems to be pushing everyone into thinking that the only correct way is to 'let it all out' ... which of course is not the only way of dealing with psychological/emotional issues or various aspects/situations ... again it depends on the individual).