As for what Vulcans actually feel deep within, underneath the "controlled" exterior, we have a couple lines of dialog that address this:
VOY Gravity:
PARIS: Tuvok, everyone feels a little insane when they fall in love, but it's worth the risk.
TUVOK: For you, perhaps. But I am Vulcan. My natural emotions are erratic, volatile. If I don't control them, they will control me.
Star Trek 2009:
SAREK: Emotions run deep within our race. In many ways, more deeply than in Humans. Logic offers a serenity Humans seldom experience. The control of feelings, so that they do not control you.
Kor
VOY Gravity:
PARIS: Tuvok, everyone feels a little insane when they fall in love, but it's worth the risk.
TUVOK: For you, perhaps. But I am Vulcan. My natural emotions are erratic, volatile. If I don't control them, they will control me.
Star Trek 2009:
SAREK: Emotions run deep within our race. In many ways, more deeply than in Humans. Logic offers a serenity Humans seldom experience. The control of feelings, so that they do not control you.
Kor