Re: Anyone else have a strained family relationship with a family memb
Thinking about my family makes me confused. Be warned, here is a long rant. Sorry it's long, but the stuff about my Mum I like to get out of system every now and then.
On my Dad's side there are two uncles with families that live at opposite sides of the country. I saw one the other week for the first time in 5 years, and haven't seen the other for 10 years. Their appearances are rare but we're still on reasonable terms at least. My Dad's other brother still lives in the same town and I went to school with my cousin. The cousin eventually moved away but that part of the family remains close.
My Mum's side is a disappointing mess though. She's been very ill for a long time now and been in a care home for around 7 years. Back in the day when me, my sister and father used to care for her, family visits sort of dwindled. Her brother used to be round often but he had the same illness as my mum and sadly died a few years ago.
One of her sisters used to be round every week and even lived with us for a while when her and her partner seperated. She is very close to us all, but typically now has the same illness as my Mum and uncle did. She is at a similar stage to where my mum was when I was younger, which I find very hard to deal with as me and my sister have inherited the same infected genes our Mum has. My auntie has two young boys which leaves them at risk too, leaving us with one future messy family problem. I like to see them all when I can though.
The other two sisters have been particularly useless in regards to ever wanting to visit us, and I haven't really had a decent relationship with them since I was 8 or 9. One of those thankfully helps my sick auntie now, though only to get paid with some of sick auntie's benefits it seems. These two are apparently my godparents too which is useful.
My Mum's father seemed to visit less infrequently as she grew more ill. His first wife who he had these children with died from Huntingtons, the same thing his kids have had. I can certainly understand why he would feel like he couldn't deal with his family, but at the time we needed him most he seemed more interested in his second wife's family, with whom I'm not involved with at all.
I'm very close to my sister, which is good because we became strained when she stole £100 from me a few years ago. We've had the same struggle during our teens with our Mum and are very in sync with each other. I'm glad that I'm also closer with my Dad than I used to be. When I was younger we were a bit strained as he used to work a lot of nightshifts, and sometimes away from home. It led to me looking to my Grandad on my Dad's side as a father figure for a while. When my Mum became ill, I resented that it wasn't my Dad instead, which was ridiculous.
My Dad eventually started seeing someone else who already had three kids, one of whom has cerebal palsy and is in a wheelchair, who the family just took to straight away. I've come to love my stepmum very much, and even though her two other kids are not people I would have become friends with before, yet we have still managed to sort out a friendly relationship between us all that continues to grow. It's probably the strongest part of my family overall, and showed me that blood relatives are not the be all and end all.
Fair enough, man, fair enough.
