It would be interesting to know the kernel of the idea for the episode. And, like any good piece of fiction, it may work on levels or send messages the writer never intended or thought of himself. Frankly, I see no homoerotic theme in it at all, but -- not to be a relativist -- that doesn't mean someone else doesn't see one.
I think the episode sprung from one intriguing thought: how do Vulcans get it on? Love Vulcan style.
Sex is a very emotional act, ostensibly involving the deepest of emotions and a willingness for a person to let oneself go physically and emotionally with another person. Indeed, in all ways it is very "anti-Vulcan." Yet, sex (though not love) is necessary for procreation (in the conventional sense, anyway). So, how does it happen on Vulcan?
As we learn, it is a mixture of logic (arranged marriages between families putting together the best matches), base drives (pent up for years that finally can't be supressed any more), and it seems some shame or embarrassment at its very necessity (the rituals being shrouded in secrecy and not known by outworlders).