All I Got Left is My THREAD BOMBS!

[E-DUB]

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, 'Probably because of something you did.'"

 

[Robert Maxwell]

"I used to think about saving for retirement, but what's the point when the ninja-pirate-zombie-robot apocalypse is going to kick in any day now? I've put all my savings into high-powered rifles, canned goods, and Red Bull."

 

[siskokid888]

"I once bit into a nice crispy juicey peach. Only it wasn't a peach. It was a human head"

 

[cooleddie74]

"If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming."

 

[B.J.]

"I used to think about saving for retirement, but what's the point when the ninja-pirate-zombie-robot apocalypse is going to kick in any day now? I've put all my savings into high-powered rifles, canned goods, and Red Bull."

The scary thing about this is there are doomsday preppers out there that actually do this.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

“Consider the daffodil. And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.”

 

[TheSeeker]

Just saw this online and had to laugh at it. Simple and to the point.

 

[Mary Ann]

LOVE this.

 

[cooleddie74]

Epic.

 

[TheSeeker]

This should be standard practice for all morticians.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^

 

[Unicron]

 

[cooleddie74]

^
I'd watch it.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Especially if they discover fire.

Da.....BEARSSS

 

[cooleddie74]

Blythe Danner and Joe Don?

That won't end well. Nor in sanitary fashion.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ ABORT ABORT ABORT

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I made this in honor of Disney securing the rights to make future Indiana Jones films. Here's their first film:

 

[1001001]

Wake me when they make Bearnado.

 

[cooleddie74]

Zippety-doo-damn, that's a good one.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

And here's the sequel: