Agent Coulson Facts

[Nick Ryder]

Hot on the heels of the massively popular Robau Facts, I think we have found our new hero. Agent Coulson from the Iron Man and upcoming Thor movies.

Agent Coulson doesn't need to be worthy of the Hammer of Thor, the hammer of Thor needs to be worthy of him!

 

[Aragorn]

Nobody puts Baby in a corner because of what Agent Coulson will do to them (check out Clark Gregg's biography, it's true!).

 

[Turtletrekker]

Wolverine may be there is at what he does, but Coulson is the best at everything else.

(I actually think that 24's secret service agent Aaron Pierce deserved this kind of list, but I never saw one for him. That's what happens when you play second-fiddle to Jack Bauer.)

 

[Admiral_Young]

Stark doesn't tell him anything and it pisses him off.

 

[Skywalker]

Nobody ever tells Agent Coulson anything, but that's okay, because Agent Coulson knows everything. Everything.

 

[Hermiod]

Agent Coulson is what's under Nick Fury's eyepatch.

 

[captcalhoun]

Agent Coulson doesn't need to take the super-soldier serum, he's already more badass than Captain America.

 

[Hermiod]

The Super Soldier Serum is just Agent Coulson's urine anyway.

 

[Aragorn]

Agent Coulson survived Iron Man, Iron Man 2 and I presume Thor if he's going to be in The Avengers. Robau was killed before the opening credits of his only movie.

 

[captcalhoun]

Agent Coulson faces down magically enchanted armour with nothing more than a bull-horn and a SHIELD-issue automatic. he doesn't even need a hammer.

 

[Hermiod]

Agent Coulson survived Iron Man, Iron Man 2 and I presume Thor if he's going to be in The Avengers. Robau was killed before the opening credits of his only movie.

That's not actually true.

Robau was one of Agent Coulson's Life Model Decoys. They just attached the wrong head.

 

[Gaith]

I thought the whole point of the character is that, along with Pepper, he's the only non-badass in the franchise? If you're going to make some facts about him, at least take that into account...

Agent Coulson takes his coffee with a nice dash of skim milk. Because black is for poseurs.

Agent Coulson likes to wear ladies' undergarments from time to time, but can still bang the hell out of his wife.

Agent Coulson is a Democrat, because only dopes and people like Obidiah Stane vote Republican.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Agent Coulson is Odin's pappy. That scar you saw on Thor, that was from when Coulson bitchslapped him.

 

[Aragorn]

Agent Coulson is the only reason that one of the stars of Seinfeld had a sitcom afterward which lasted more than a handful of episodes.

 

[Set Harth]

Nobody puts Baby in a corner because of what Agent Coulson will do to them (check out Clark Gregg's biography, it's true!).

Holy crap!

Did not know that.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Agent Coulson was Robau's childhood idol, which is why he volunteered to go toe-to-toe with the Romulan captain, hoping to recapture some Coulson's legendary glory when took on The Hulk, Thor, The Black Widow wearing Iron Man's suit, Thanos, Galactus, and that big dog from the Inhumans riding Silver Surfer's board all at once, and still only on his first cup of coffee.

 

[captcalhoun]

Agent Coulson can take on The Hulk, Thor, The Black Widow wearing Iron Man's suit, Thanos, Galactus, and that big dog from the Inhumans riding Silver Surfer's board all at once, without coffee and with one hand tied behind his back.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Hands are overrated

 

[T'Baio]

Tony Stark did not give Agent Coulson the slip, Agent Coulson knew where he was at all times...even while dealing with an Asgardian God in New Mexico.

 

[Captain Craig]

^^
Technically he gave Coulson's men the slip to which Natalie had been made aware when she confronted him in Pepper's office. But I digress.

What will make it funny as an aside is if Coulson's run in with the Destroyer armor takes place chrnologically right after he leaves Starks Malibu house.

So how long till Coulson is written into the comics? A year, less?