Last night J.J. Abrams, a.k.a. 'The Ruinator', snuck into my house and stole my Star Trek DVDs. I'm not the type to wear a tinfoil hat (at least not on some Sundays), but I think he also stole my memory.
After watching the teaser, I knew something sinister was up. Aside from the blatent canon contradictions with previous Star Trek teasers, (I'm still waiting for that final journey to begin) it may have contained some sort of hypnotic command that made me forget things.
For example, I can't remember what the original TOS Enterprise looked like! I can't remember my mother's face either, but the important thing is: I suspect Abrams is trying to do something 'new' with TOS.
I first suspected this when I heard that the budget would be $150 million. That sounds like a lot of 'change' to me. Now if they'd done this for 5 million in someone's garage using recycled scenes and effects from the original series, THAT would've been a huge relief. As long as they didn't use scenes from any of the 40 or so sub-par episodes. No sir.
And it's not just memory, I think he stole my childhood and possibly a gallon of milk from the fridge. And I was really looking forward to that milk.
I can't bear think what he's doing to my childhood, or where he's taken it.
But he said that if I want it back I should go to a theater on DEC 25 with ten bucks. And not to come alone. I'm mulling my options, because it sounds like a trap. This is just the sort of thing that always happens when they don't hire me to direct the next Trek movie.
Has J.J. 'Doesn't know the color of the Vulcan sky' Abrams done this to anyone else? What should we do?
After watching the teaser, I knew something sinister was up. Aside from the blatent canon contradictions with previous Star Trek teasers, (I'm still waiting for that final journey to begin) it may have contained some sort of hypnotic command that made me forget things.
For example, I can't remember what the original TOS Enterprise looked like! I can't remember my mother's face either, but the important thing is: I suspect Abrams is trying to do something 'new' with TOS.
I first suspected this when I heard that the budget would be $150 million. That sounds like a lot of 'change' to me. Now if they'd done this for 5 million in someone's garage using recycled scenes and effects from the original series, THAT would've been a huge relief. As long as they didn't use scenes from any of the 40 or so sub-par episodes. No sir.
And it's not just memory, I think he stole my childhood and possibly a gallon of milk from the fridge. And I was really looking forward to that milk.
I can't bear think what he's doing to my childhood, or where he's taken it. But he said that if I want it back I should go to a theater on DEC 25 with ten bucks. And not to come alone. I'm mulling my options, because it sounds like a trap. This is just the sort of thing that always happens when they don't hire me to direct the next Trek movie.
Has J.J. 'Doesn't know the color of the Vulcan sky' Abrams done this to anyone else? What should we do?
