My girlfriend in the past just sort-of... happened. It came naturaly of emotion, passion, and with some pursuit from her. I never really even "officialy asked her out" it just... happened!
A question. Not sure how to interpet this....
- Thread starter Trekker4747
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My girlfriend in the past just sort-of... happened. It came naturaly of emotion, passion, and with some pursuit from her. I never really even "officialy asked her out" it just... happened!
Ah, ok then. 
She's pregnant. Women only fart when they're pregnant.
I pretend they never do, so as not to alter my own personal canon.
Oh, my mistake. Sometimes your social awkwardness leads me to mistake you for Mr Laser Beam.
Either she's a complete bitch who needs a metaphorical equivalent of a drink poured on her head, or she doesn't believe you'll ever actually ask her out for real.
The context isn't very clear.
The context isn't very clear.
Either way, he needs to step up at bat and take a swing. It's the only way he will ever know for sure.
I'm clunking my head on my desk right now.
I actualy think I'm missing the part of the brain that allows me to simply go up to a girl and ask her out. There's no reason at all in my mind that I can think of that I shouldn't do it or can't do it but at the same time it just seems like I physically can
't and I've no idea what it is.
:head desk:
I've actually managed to do this two other, major, times in the past. The first time the girl said yes, she'd be interested ind oing something, we swapped numbers but I actually freaked out in my mind and never really called or set-up an official date. The other time I asked and she turned me down -she was already attached.)
I'm broken, I need a recall on my brain or something.
I actualy think I'm missing the part of the brain that allows me to simply go up to a girl and ask her out. There's no reason at all in my mind that I can think of that I shouldn't do it or can't do it but at the same time it just seems like I physically can
't and I've no idea what it is.
:head desk:
I've actually managed to do this two other, major, times in the past. The first time the girl said yes, she'd be interested ind oing something, we swapped numbers but I actually freaked out in my mind and never really called or set-up an official date. The other time I asked and she turned me down -she was already attached.)
I'm broken, I need a recall on my brain or something.
Time to man-up.
I mean, for fuck's sake man, hitting on girls is fun, FUN. It's not a chore.
I mean, for fuck's sake man, hitting on girls is fun, FUN. It's not a chore.
Sounds like you might have anxiety disorder or something. Seeing a professional might not be a bad idea. And it's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
People asking each other out is something that happens every second of every day-- hundreds of times per second in fact. You just need to do it. Maybe she'll say yes and it won't work out; maybe she'll say no and change her mind later; maybe she'll say yes and you'll decide you don't like her so much after all. Anything can happen, which is probably why it makes you anxious; you just have to learn to lean into the wind and laugh at the storm.
People asking each other out is something that happens every second of every day-- hundreds of times per second in fact. You just need to do it. Maybe she'll say yes and it won't work out; maybe she'll say no and change her mind later; maybe she'll say yes and you'll decide you don't like her so much after all. Anything can happen, which is probably why it makes you anxious; you just have to learn to lean into the wind and laugh at the storm.
The "on" is a very important word in that sentence.
Wouldn't be surprised if I did. Depression, Cluster Headaches, Simple Partial Seizures, I get them all.
^^ Go see a doctor, man. There are treatments for these things that will make your life much better.
Though treatment typically means being made a moderator--- where socially awkward and depressed is in the job requirements.
Sack up and ask her out, instead of being an awkward 30 year old playing high-school level games with a girl. Worst case is that she says no, which puts you right where you are now.
Why people build this up to the point where they have to fall deeply in love from afar (or stalking, as normal people call it) before they can ask a girl out is beyond me. If you're interested, talk to her, hang out with her. She'll either be interested or not, but you'll know and can move forward accordingly. Stop building a chick flick romance novel in your head, and just talk to her. She probably won't bite (and even if they do, it's not the end of the world, it happens...)
And for God's sake, stop using your previous relationship as a crutch. If it was a recent thing, I'd understand, but it was a fairly BRIEF relationship, and it was almost a decade ago. Seriously dude, you're just using it as an excuse to wuss out and bitch about life. If you can't even man up enough to risk rejection, what's this girl supposed to be interested IN, and what part of a relationship with that kind of person would she be looking forward to?
Why people build this up to the point where they have to fall deeply in love from afar (or stalking, as normal people call it) before they can ask a girl out is beyond me. If you're interested, talk to her, hang out with her. She'll either be interested or not, but you'll know and can move forward accordingly. Stop building a chick flick romance novel in your head, and just talk to her. She probably won't bite (and even if they do, it's not the end of the world, it happens...)
And for God's sake, stop using your previous relationship as a crutch. If it was a recent thing, I'd understand, but it was a fairly BRIEF relationship, and it was almost a decade ago. Seriously dude, you're just using it as an excuse to wuss out and bitch about life. If you can't even man up enough to risk rejection, what's this girl supposed to be interested IN, and what part of a relationship with that kind of person would she be looking forward to?
First of all, you've no idea how much my previous relationship still hurts. She was someone I was deeply in love with and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The karmatic "magic" of our "history" together is something that cannot be duplicated. She was, and I don't say this lightly, my soul mate. And she ripped my heart out and threw it in my face. I still have feelings for her and I still miss her. Yeah, I'm mostly over it but it's still something that had a huge impact on me. There are still times it hurts, there are still times I wish, and even my own subconcious sees it fit to give me the occasional dream about her.
It was much more than a "brief" relationship ( and I don't see how dating for two years after knowing eachother and being friends for five before that could be considered "brief".)
Secondly, I'm already fully aware of my various emotional disabilites and quirks, they're all something that've plagued me since I was in grade school. I've always had trouble around people in general.
This isn't a simple matter of "I'm 30 years old, she's 25, I should just go over there and do it," I physically can't. It took all my will power to ask-out to previous girls and neither worked out (one due to my suckiness, one due to her already being in a relationship.)
I've got problems, I've always had these problems, and they're hard to overcome. I know I've got much to offer a woman, I've many good friendships with people so I'm obviously able to connect with people and maintain relationships and even aquiring those male friendships took every ounce of my being.
That's what was so great about my previous relationship, it just... happened. It litteraly fell in my lap, no question on motive, it just happened out of passion and moment and spark. It's was, in a cliche, magical. Unfotuantly, she was too young, it was a (semi) long-distance relationship and I was going through alot of stresses and emotional troubles at the time (and a yet to be treated mental illness) and all of that was too much of a strain on things.
This isn't playing high-school games, this is the way I am, the way I am wired, and maybe even a little bit of God kicking me in the nuts because He hates me.
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