A Question About Girls
- Thread starter Vulagr
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Let me guess, you're playing Mass Effect? You can choose that option, but Ashley will be pissed and storm out, leaving you with Liara who is apparently more open to that sort of thing.
I have two girls who are arguing over me and they gave me an ultimatum. They gave me two weeks to choose one of them.
Unfortunately I really like them both and don't want to lose either of their friendship and want them both in my life. And if I choose one the other will leave and go away.
I don't think I would buy this story with Rick Berman's credit card.
I wouldn't pick either one. I wouldn't want to be with someone who gave me an ultimatum like that.
Personally, I don't like ultimatums. It's up to them to make up their own minds.
This. Ultimatums are a form of manipulation, and I do not willingly associate with those that attempt to manipulate me.
Although, this situation might be different for me than it is for you. I'm polyamorous, and I discuss this with women I date as soon as makes sense. I try to bring it up as soon as possible. At any rate, before things become serious, it is understood that I do not limit my social interactions with others in favor of a relationship. I understand that exclusivity is important to most, which is why I'm up front with it. I make my feelings clear early in a relationship, and if non-exclusivity is a problem, then we would probably be better off as friends or something else other than in a committed relationship. If she decides not to end a relationship at that time, and later decides to demand exclusivity, it comes off as "I dismiss your value system as invalid, and demand you change to suit mine." This demonstrates that she has little or no respect for me, and I won't have anything further to do with her.
Now, if she thought she was fine with non-exclusivity, changed her mind, and wanted to discuss it with me, that's a little different. I'd be willing to discuss things and go from there. Ultimatums though, not something I will tolerate.
As for your situation, it depends on the understanding you have with each of these women. Was it understood that things would eventually lead to an exclusive relationship? Or was it something more like casual dating that is starting to become serious? Is there any dishonesty on your part? As in, did you indicate you were interested in an exclusive relationship when you actually weren't? Either way, I'd take their getting together and making demands as a red flag.
Will they beat you up if you don't decide?
Not at my end, anyway. I'm not looking for an exclusive intimate relationship. I do, however, value their friendship.
I don't date. We did do things like go out and play paint ball together, but I didn't consider that dating. If they did, they came to the wrong conclusion, and i was not trying to lead them on.
That'll solve your problem. It just won't be the solution you were looking for.
Choose neither. If they're truly your friends, they'll respect your decision. Otherwise, neither one is really "just friends" with you and they never will be.
Just to be clear, are we talking about the standard definition of "friend" here? Sometimes I use the word "friend" to refer to women I'm close to emotionally and have sex with. That's not what we're talking about, right? You're talking about the non-sexual kind of friend, correct?
Either way, no, there is nothing wrong with having more than one friend, or "friend" if that's the case, as long as everyone is cool with it.
Given the way you've described the situation, either they're interested in you romantically, or... something.
What the hell? Seriously, what the hell?
Either way, no, there is nothing wrong with having more than one friend, or "friend" if that's the case, as long as everyone is cool with it.
Given the way you've described the situation, either they're interested in you romantically, or... something.
What the hell? Seriously, what the hell?
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