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A Prostitute, A Doctor, A Preacher, A Cattle Rancher, And A Psychic Walk Onto A Set....

More like if the American Revolution were lost-- the Serenity crew were not bad guys. At least I hope Whedon didn't have that in mind.
A substantial element of the Western genre is that the Civil War is a recent event that many characters participated in. The American Revolution doesn't fit into that. And Firefly is a fictional, Western-based setting...no need to bring real-world politics into it. Nor is it unheard-of for a Western to have a protagonist who's a former Confederate--See The Rebel or Hell on Wheels. And part of the idea of such characters is that they're seeking a new life out west because, in the era of Reconstruction, they feel that the home that they fought for no longer exists.
 
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True enough, I suppose, in terms of the Western genre. But in the context of the show, much was made of how oppressive and evil the winners of the war were. On the other hand, there was no indication that the rebels wanted anything more than to be left alone. I wonder if any of this was ever clarified in the Firefly comics.
 
No more ridiculous than Klingons-- or any society that has both soldiers and technicians.


On the contrary, any civilized person would hope for a society where sexuality is treated as a normal part of life and not suppressed by religious ideology. Mal was shown as having an old-fashioned attitude toward sexuality, but that was based on jealousy and insecurity-- as are all sexual taboos.


Just because you happen to be living in a particularly conservative period doesn't mean that things won't change. The long-term trend has been toward greater liberalism for centuries.


They all fit, because they're all outcasts and fugitives. The format of the show was designed to throw these disparate types together.


All frontiers have much in common-- the rest is literary license.


You mean like people who drive high-tech cars or fly private airplanes or own houseboats? People are people, in any century.


More like if the American Revolution were lost-- the Serenity crew were not bad guys. At least I hope Whedon didn't have that in mind.
No one like this captain will ever even man a spaceship, but this could be overlooked if not for the fact that every single aspect of this show that's unique to it wasn't even more far fetched. Prostitution will never be an upper class activity, sorry. Psychotic, cannibalistic, necrophiliac, torturers who don't even communicate will NEVER band together on space missions of any sort. Also, simply watching such beings will not turn you into one, that's just stupid. You're being asked to suspend your disbelief for how people work. You should have a problem with that. You don't have to be too smart to come up with the only reasonable response to this: "No, I can't accept the premise that people become Jeffrey Dahmer by seeing Jeffrey Dahmer just b/c it's so sickening and evil, that's retarded." The acceptance of this premise is so low and so stupid that it insults and angers me to know that there are people who can actually buy that, people who are smart enough to type messages into this thread. It just disgusts me so much to have anything in common with such people at all, even this language.

How bad and illogical can the concepts be before it's too much of an incoherent mess to watch? I have to wonder what ideas Whedon came up with that he actually rejected, I can't imagine how bad they must have been, if he rejected anything at all. I mean, just look at what he kept. He's clearly not even throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks. He's taking things that fell to the floor and trying to duct tape them back to the wall.

PROSTITUTES TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE FOR THEIR CLIENTS
. "I'd like to see you, when do you think you'll have an opportunity to visit me? Oh, you'll be here in a few months? Yes I believe I'll be horny then. I'll pay now, thanks, bye." And the captain allows this in exchange for the rent of a room on his spaceship, like his ship also serves as a flying hotel. And of course her clients are just going to happen to be where the captain has business of his own.

That's about the most inefficient means for both the prostitute and her clients to do business, this model would never work. Great business deal for the captain though, right, what does he get out of this besides the money? He gets the prestige and honor and respect associated with being the escort of a prostitute, for real. How is that not a sarcastic joke? How do you accept this as anything that could ever realistically happen? It's a concept most likely conceived upon waking from a nonsensical dream. There are prostitutes on call 5 minutes away, no matter where you live. Sex isn't some rare commodity, get real. Find a prostitute that so much as travels between CITIES for work, try it. Between planets? No, please. Again, it's just highly insulting. I'd be an idiot to suspend disbelief for this.

If it was less explained, and if it was just an excuse to get hot women around the set, it'd be shamelessly, hedonistically, fun enough. I could get with that. Just harmless, playful sexy time. Like the women of TOS, when they're in the background or crawling through a duct in a mini skirt I can even laugh out loud sometimes, "I see why you wrote that in there, you old dog, you!" If it's the first time a female actress is on screen, they're going to cue that whimsical music and you can bet that the fog machine's ready because it's time for a hazy close up of her bedroom eyes. "Subtlety," what's that? Innocently perverted, childish old man fun. Hypocritically, unapologetically sexist, gratuitous, and campy. Hilarious. Firefly isn't that, it's in fact the opposite. It's the same exact woman in every episode, with different men. If I could only believe that this was intended as a means to subvert expectations or purposefully give the audience the opposite of what they want as a sort of meta joke on them, I could dig it. Whedon unfortunately isn't that clever.

The idea that this is supposed to be a western only contradicts the premise. They're traveling through space, not across a prairie on horseback. The doctor will always be a douche and his sister will always be some randomly thrown in, expendable character who doesn't fit or relate to any other character. She's a random wild card for the sake of a random wild card. As a bonus, she's also annoying. Yay. The preacher and his silly religion that no one else on the ship even agrees with, don't belong in the show either. He's completely worthless. Not even a liability, just a nothing. The Alliance sort of evil is like, "in the future... we will be in the past!" It will show its age more as we become more advanced and even more civilized. They try to make the Alliance mysterious by not revealing anything at all about it. Like it's an old movie monster instead of just a government. The dialogue and occasional plot are the only saving grace. To rank Firefly above any ST series is just silly. There are no interesting new ideas in this mercifully short, derivative show.
 
Oh yeah I forgot what an idiot the doctor's sister is too. And she's supposed to be a genius. If they didn't tell you that she was actually brilliant, you'd think she's retarded the way she reacts to things sometimes. She never says anything intelligent. Interesting that this is how Whedon writes for his smartest character, isn't it?
 
Cool story, bro. I just skimmed it, but I'm assuming.

Your 15-years too late irrational and hyperbolic anger towards this cancelled in less than a season TV show both amuses and nourishes me. Continue.

In fact, you've inspired me to write a disjointed rant about the short-lived Chris Carter series Harsh Realm from 1999.
 
You're being asked to suspend your disbelief for how people work. You should have a problem with that.
Telling other posters what they "should" have a problem with is never going to be productive.

The acceptance of this premise is so low and so stupid that it insults and angers me to know that there are people who can actually buy that, people who are smart enough to type messages into this thread. It just disgusts me so much to have anything in common with such people at all, even this language.
Then why are you here? Just for the privilege of having us anger and disgust you?
 
Two theories I just made up about the Reavers:

- Perhaps when they are alone and there are no victims in sight, they ease up a bit with the mass psychosis. Meaning: the presence of non-Reavers makes them crazy and activates their "beast mode", so when there's a group of Reavers alone on a ship, they retain enough intelligence to operate it.

- Or maybe the Reavers are just so psycho that they destroy themselves with reckless abandon, so any ones that are still alive must logically be strong and intelligent enough to handle a ship (because they fought their comrades and won). Survival of the least-insane, to coin a phrase.

As for the Alliance: My favorite mentioning of them is in an episode that does not, technically, exist (it was written but never filmed). I can't remember what it's called but it's one where one of Mal's old comrades goes nuts and starts killing Alliance citizens basically at random. They confront each other and the guy starts spouting off revolutionary jargon about abandoning The Struggle and all that crap, and Mal says something like this to him: "It ain't war when they're not shooting at you. Then it's just plain murder." I got more respect for Mal after I read that. :techman:
 
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Prostitution will never be an upper class activity, sorry.
Hasn't it been in the past?
Psychotic, cannibalistic, necrophiliac, torturers who don't even communicate will NEVER band together on space missions of any sort. Also, simply watching such beings will not turn you into one, that's just stupid. You're being asked to suspend your disbelief for how people work. You should have a problem with that. You don't have to be too smart to come up with the only reasonable response to this: "No, I can't accept the premise that people become Jeffrey Dahmer by seeing Jeffrey Dahmer just b/c it's so sickening and evil, that's retarded."
After the big reveal in the movie, I was wondering if they're actually still infected with the virus, and that the people who see them are being infected, not just turned by what they experience.
The acceptance of this premise is so low and so stupid that it insults and angers me to know that there are people who can actually buy that, people who are smart enough to type messages into this thread. It just disgusts me so much to have anything in common with such people at all, even this language.
Wow, overreact much.
How bad and illogical can the concepts be before it's too much of an incoherent mess to watch? I have to wonder what ideas Whedon came up with that he actually rejected, I can't imagine how bad they must have been, if he rejected anything at all. I mean, just look at what he kept. He's clearly not even throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks. He's taking things that fell to the floor and trying to duct tape them back to the wall.

PROSTITUTES TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE FOR THEIR CLIENTS. "I'd like to see you, when do you think you'll have an opportunity to visit me? Oh, you'll be here in a few months? Yes I believe I'll be horny then. I'll pay now, thanks, bye." And the captain allows this in exchange for the rent of a room on his spaceship, like his ship also serves as a flying hotel. And of course her clients are just going to happen to be where the captain has business of his own.

That's about the most inefficient means for both the prostitute and her clients to do business, this model would never work. Great business deal for the captain though, right, what does he get out of this besides the money? He gets the prestige and honor and respect associated with being the escort of a prostitute, for real. How is that not a sarcastic joke? How do you accept this as anything that could ever realistically happen? It's a concept most likely conceived upon waking from a nonsensical dream. There are prostitutes on call 5 minutes away, no matter where you live. Sex isn't some rare commodity, get real. Find a prostitute that so much as travels between CITIES for work, try it. Between planets? No, please. Again, it's just highly insulting. I'd be an idiot to suspend disbelief for this.
It's not just about being horny and wanting to just have sex, it's a prestige thing about being rich enough, and important enough to have sex with a companion, who are the absolute highest of the high class prostitutes.
If it was less explained, and if it was just an excuse to get hot women around the set, it'd be shamelessly, hedonistically, fun enough. I could get with that. Just harmless, playful sexy time. Like the women of TOS, when they're in the background or crawling through a duct in a mini skirt I can even laugh out loud sometimes, "I see why you wrote that in there, you old dog, you!" If it's the first time a female actress is on screen, they're going to cue that whimsical music and you can bet that the fog machine's ready because it's time for a hazy close up of her bedroom eyes. "Subtlety," what's that? Innocently perverted, childish old man fun. Hypocritically, unapologetically sexist, gratuitous, and campy. Hilarious. Firefly isn't that, it's in fact the opposite. It's the same exact woman in every episode, with different men. If I could only believe that this was intended as a means to subvert expectations or purposefully give the audience the opposite of what they want as a sort of meta joke on them, I could dig it. Whedon unfortunately isn't that clever.
I'm really not even sure how to respond to this right now.
The idea that this is supposed to be a western only contradicts the premise. They're traveling through space, not across a prairie on horseback.
This series specifically meant to be a mashup of sci-fi and westerns, and we actually do see people riding on horseback repeatedly throughout the series.
The doctor will always be a douche and his sister will always be some randomly thrown in, expendable character who doesn't fit or relate to any other character. She's a random wild card for the sake of a random wild card. As a bonus, she's also annoying. Yay.
Actually River is a hugely important character, and is the driving force behind the show's biggest arc.
The preacher and his silly religion that no one else on the ship even agrees with, don't belong in the show either. He's completely worthless. Not even a liability, just a nothing.
Book is awesome, and his past ties to The Alliance do show that he's a lot more than nothing.
The Alliance sort of evil is like, "in the future... we will be in the past!" It will show its age more as we become more advanced and even more civilized. They try to make the Alliance mysterious by not revealing anything at all about it. Like it's an old movie monster instead of just a government. The dialogue and occasional plot are the only saving grace. To rank Firefly above any ST series is just silly. There are no interesting new ideas in this mercifully short, derivative show.
One of the big things to keep in mind with Firefly, if that what we got was only one, or possibly even half, of a season of what was clearly meant to be an ongoing series. I have a feeling that if the show had continued we would have gotten a lot more development of the secondary elements, like the Reavers and the Alliance.
 
If only someone would cancel the show to salve the OP's frustration and save his/her fingertips from friction burns. Oh, they did...
 
No one like this captain will ever even man a spaceship, but this could be overlooked if not for the fact that every single aspect of this show that's unique to it wasn't even more far fetched.

Of course someone will. The only possible way to avoid it is for the human race to die before space travel becomes cheap enough for regular people to try it.

Prostitution will never be an upper class activity, sorry.

The only thing unbelievable about this is your ridiculous insistance that I must believe you know how the future will unfold.

Psychotic, cannibalistic, necrophiliac, torturers who don't even communicate will NEVER band together on space missions of any sort. Also, simply watching such beings will not turn you into one, that's just stupid. You're being asked to suspend your disbelief for how people work. You should have a problem with that. You don't have to be too smart to come up with the only reasonable response to this: "No, I can't accept the premise that people become Jeffrey Dahmer by seeing Jeffrey Dahmer just b/c it's so sickening and evil, that's retarded." The acceptance of this premise is so low and so stupid that it insults and angers me to know that there are people who can actually buy that, people who are smart enough to type messages into this thread. It just disgusts me so much to have anything in common with such people at all, even this language.

Every Sci-fi show has at least 1 big leap that requires a bigger suspension of disbelief. The apocalypse in Walking Dead. The utopia in Star Trek. For Firefly, that was the Reavers, who obviously were conceived first and foremost as a narrative concept - the Other, the barbaric hordes which haunted old westerns but which of course never actually existed in reality. But ultimately the show never got far enough into explaining them to truly cause a problem. The movie did - but the movie also introduced a very logical, sci-fi style root cause for them which completely undermines your argument. They were created by chemical experiments, carried out on the population of an entire planet, which means it's entirely possible that Reavers could be contagious or simply that Reavers very often do wind up killing themselves and each other, but that their initial population was so high that the ships we see are simply what's left (and would eventually die out on their own).

As for the guy who turned himself into a reaver - IF he wasn't physically exposed to the chemical agent that causes reaver psychosis, then he was just driven insane and turned violent. Nothing in the show claims that this is an inevitable result of seeing the Reavers. Even Mal, who is the only person who truly believes in this concept to begin with, only starts to push the idea after he finds out that the guy is self-mutilating. There's nothing unbelievable about the fact that SOME people can lose their minds when faced with true evil. In fact, pretty much every serious depiction of violence and depravity among the human race understands that it IS a cycle - one offender creates another creates another. Which doesn't mean that all people or most people or even any more than a small fraction of people will have that reaction.

PROSTITUTES TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE FOR THEIR CLIENTS
. "I'd like to see you, when do you think you'll have an opportunity to visit me? Oh, you'll be here in a few months? Yes I believe I'll be horny then. I'll pay now, thanks, bye." And the captain allows this in exchange for the rent of a room on his spaceship, like his ship also serves as a flying hotel. And of course her clients are just going to happen to be where the captain has business of his own.

That's about the most inefficient means for both the prostitute and her clients to do business, this model would never work. Great business deal for the captain though, right, what does he get out of this besides the money? He gets the prestige and honor and respect associated with being the escort of a prostitute, for real. How is that not a sarcastic joke? How do you accept this as anything that could ever realistically happen? It's a concept most likely conceived upon waking from a nonsensical dream. There are prostitutes on call 5 minutes away, no matter where you live. Sex isn't some rare commodity, get real. Find a prostitute that so much as travels between CITIES for work, try it. Between planets? No, please. Again, it's just highly insulting. I'd be an idiot to suspend disbelief for this.

Yes, indeed, her clients are going to be where the captain has business *because she chooses her clients based on where she's going to be*. This is exactly like people who complain that Star Trek only shows starfleet officers, completely ignoring that of a course a show on a starfleet ship is populated by the crew of that ship.

As for the rest, there are very, very few things that actually are rare commodities. Cars aren't. Music isn't. Food isn't. Teachers aren't. Yet rich people everywhere will make appointments months in advance to get the best chef/tutor/virtuoso/product (and a whole lot of other things). And not because it's 'better', but because it's prestigious. That's just how people are.

If it was less explained, and if it was just an excuse to get hot women around the set, it'd be shamelessly, hedonistically, fun enough. I could get with that. Just harmless, playful sexy time. Like the women of TOS, when they're in the background or crawling through a duct in a mini skirt I can even laugh out loud sometimes, "I see why you wrote that in there, you old dog, you!" If it's the first time a female actress is on screen, they're going to cue that whimsical music and you can bet that the fog machine's ready because it's time for a hazy close up of her bedroom eyes. "Subtlety," what's that? Innocently perverted, childish old man fun. Hypocritically, unapologetically sexist, gratuitous, and campy. Hilarious. Firefly isn't that, it's in fact the opposite. It's the same exact woman in every episode, with different men. If I could only believe that this was intended as a means to subvert expectations or purposefully give the audience the opposite of what they want as a sort of meta joke on them, I could dig it. Whedon unfortunately isn't that clever.

If you honestly think that would qualify as 'clever'... No. Just no.

The idea that this is supposed to be a western only contradicts the premise. They're traveling through space, not across a prairie on horseback.

The idea that this is a western IS the premise. They travel on both spaceships and horses (and a hovercraft and an atv). There's nothing wrong with that.

The doctor will always be a douche and his sister will always be some randomly thrown in, expendable character who doesn't fit or relate to any other character. She's a random wild card for the sake of a random wild card. As a bonus, she's also annoying. Yay.

Oh yeah I forgot what an idiot the doctor's sister is too. And she's supposed to be a genius. If they didn't tell you that she was actually brilliant, you'd think she's retarded the way she reacts to things sometimes. She never says anything intelligent. Interesting that this is how Whedon writes for his smartest character, isn't it?

She's a genius who was kidnapped as a child and literally had her brain experimented on. She is mentally unbalanced. That's literally the whole point of the character. She's a time bomb who's a danger to the crew but also an innocent victim who can't just be tossed aside. But go right ahead acting like she's just an idiot.

As for the Doctor, yeah he's from a very different culture and he's completely out of place among the crew. Which is, again, the whole point. Clash of civilizations and all that.

The preacher and his silly religion that no one else on the ship even agrees with, don't belong in the show either. He's completely worthless. Not even a liability, just a nothing.

This honestly doesn't even make sense. How is a complex, nuanced character who chooses to live a different life and struggles to accept the realities of the frontier a 'nothing' who 'doesn't belong in the show'? I mean, for god's sake, who did you think should have been in the show? Just another standard sci-fi space crew?

The Alliance sort of evil is like, "in the future... we will be in the past!" It will show its age more as we become more advanced and even more civilized. They try to make the Alliance mysterious by not revealing anything at all about it. Like it's an old movie monster instead of just a government. The dialogue and occasional plot are the only saving grace. To rank Firefly above any ST series is just silly. There are no interesting new ideas in this mercifully short, derivative show.

Re the future vs the past, there have always been two basic approaches to Sci-fi - one that humanity evolves, and one that humanity is basically always the same. Firefly is an example of the latter. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As for 'not revealing anything' about the Alliance - I'm more than halfway into a rewatch of TOS and I know more about the Alliance from 13 episodes and 1 movie of Firefly than I do about the Federation from 40 plus episodes of TOS. If the show had continued, I'd clearly know a lot more than what I know now, because it was blatantly obvious that these threads were intended as the basis for long term story arcs that just didnt get made due to the cancellation.

And as for silly, that is a word that could be best used to describe your entire argument.
 
Oh yeah I forgot what an idiot the doctor's sister is too. And she's supposed to be a genius. If they didn't tell you that she was actually brilliant, you'd think she's retarded the way she reacts to things sometimes. She never says anything intelligent. Interesting that this is how Whedon writes for his smartest character, isn't it?
So, basically, you not only have no understanding of humanity, psychology, sociology, and history, but you also don't grasp storytelling, artistry, and characterization. This explains a lot.
 
On the plus side, he doesn't seem to have a problem with Wash, Zoe or Kaylee so it can't be all bad.


Firefly is awesome!
 
I don't see how Reaverism could be literally contagious. It was caused by humans breathing the Pax, but it doesn't make them emit the Pax, does it?

I mean, I can see somebody being driven insane after witnessing Reaver atrocities but it's not like catching a physical disease.
 
I don't see how Reaverism could be literally contagious. It was caused by humans breathing the Pax, but it doesn't make them emit the Pax, does it?

I mean, I can see somebody being driven insane after witnessing Reaver atrocities but it's not like catching a physical disease.

There's not that much info available, so it could theoretically be possible that the Pax does self-replicate in the host, or that it could be long lasting and still be present on some of the Reavers (say skin to skin contact contagious), or that there are storage facilities of it around Miranda that the Reavers sometimes wander through causing them to become carriers for some period of time.
 
My favorite line in all of Firefly (which, as a whole, I really didn't care for):

"Well I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a LOT..." :guffaw:
 
STICK? WHAT IS STICK???? The "I don't know where I am" eyes and gaping mouth give her genius right away.

Director: "You're supposed to be a genius, you know things that you can't possibly know. You have to look the part, so stare at nothing with those vacant eyes and cock your head." Actress: "Uh, like this?" Director: "PERFECT!"

"If only the writers weren't so dumb, they could give me lines that a genius might actually come up with!" And then we're supposed to believe she could give you your date of birth with one glance. Take that, Sherlock Holmes! B/c the audience is stupid, obviously.


RANDOM PREACHER ALERT. Sorry, but now you know how I feel whenever he's in a shot. Hello, Whedon, this guy doesn't belong. On topic, doesn't River respond to this guy's hair in the way that a 2 year old might?

Being expected to believe that the girl's intelligence leads as far as supernatural powers when she always has a vacant look in her eyes and a gaping mouth with which she only uses to form sentence fragments is a joke. She can't even get over some mental experiments, randomly holding her head and screaming for no reason all the time. That isn't a sign of a strong mind, it's irrationality. It's the way an abused dog might act after being rescued, too dumb to learn and adapt to its new surroundings. She can't even tell what's a threat and what isn't but is able to just know someone's entire past by looking at their face. No level of intelligence could even account for that, it's just Whedon's idiotic assumption that it could. Of course he would have no logical skills though, he came up with the Reaver and the Queen Prostitute.

I can't believe that there are ppl who even try to argue that Reavers could realistically operate a spaceship. Don't you have any imagination? Seeing them operate a ship together and then getting out to do what they do is clearly ridiculous. Go on believing that it isn't though. Unreal.


This is what the Reavers do before landing. It's rocket science. And then they land, get out, and....

RANDOM PREACHER ALERT. Sorry, I won't do this again, it's just really annoying, I know. Where was I? Oh yeah, the Reavers are exiting the resultant work of decades of rocket science, and:

RIP THE FLESH. BREAK THE BONES. MAKE LOVE TO THE EYE SOCKETS. MY THIRST FOR BLOOD WAS NOT QUITE QUENCHED ENOUGH UPON TORTURING MY OWN BODY.

Right. Use your imagination, I guess. Try not to short circuit due to overwhelmingly ridiculous nature of the thought experiment. A virus that turns you into Dahmer, okay. Keep arguing that it makes sense for an adult to witness that and become it afterwards, my eyes weren't rolling hard enough while watching the show and listening to that insulting explanation of the clearly braindead Mal. BTW, the cycle of abuse applies to children, usually in the lower range of intelligence, not grown men. Sorry. It would be so much more believable to watch the Reavers eat dinner after their mass rape/murders with the soup spoon on the right and everything:


A very Reaver dinner placement.

I like the justifications you guys have though, really smart. Even the defenders can't come to the only logical conclusion that the Reavers themselves couldn't have been operating the ship, but are kept in some kind of holding bay until whoever else is operating the ship lands it. Don't worry, Whedon wouldn't have come up with it either. Honestly, they're just so far beyond ridiculous already though that further explanation of their origins couldn't possibly redeem it. They're just not social beings, they'd never act together for anything. The shark was jumped on conception, gangster rap could have made them do it for all the good the virus explanation does at that point.

AIN'T NUTTIN' TO IT, GANGSTA RAP MADE ME DO IT.

And I'm truly just sorry for you if you can buy the whole "prostitutes are the future royalty that captains of spaceships would value high enough to escort them all over the galaxy" thing, there hasn't been a more idiotic notion in any vision of the future. Making the fool's assumption that this could be our future though and this prostitute was such a gem, it certainly doesn't make any sense that she'd hitch a ride with these low class bounty hunters. You obviously don't have the capacity to deduce the simple fact that with as much money and status as you would need for a companion who goes around having sex with hundreds of people, you could easily just as well have the wives of your choice. Yeah, I'm sure highly expensive prostitutes would make a killing in that field though. I'd order one for next october right now if I could, fingers crossed that she doesn't have a disease by then!

No one on the ship even belongs in the same century or world as each other. Pop quiz: which of these characters don't belong?
Trick question, none of them belong.

I see excuses for the preacher even. It makes so much sense that the captain would want him on the ship, doesn't it? I'm sure he's not just there b/c it makes for a clash of personalities for the writers to work with.

There's a time and place for westerns and the time isn't the future and the place isn't space. I don't think you understand what a contradiction is. Western - 1800's, middle of nowhere america. "I have an idea! Let's put those old Montana cowboys IN SPACE WITH SPACE WHORES AND A SPACE PREACHER WHO NONE OF THEM AGREE WITH AND A DOUCHE DOCTOR AND HIS PSYCHIC GENIUS SISTER WHO CAN'T PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER!" Brilliant.

This is funk:
This is black metal:
There is 1 reason that no one of any importance has ever fused these genres and that's b/c it's dumb squared.

This is a western:
This is a space adventure:
There is a reason that no one of any importance ever fused these 2 genres before or since Firefly. That's b/c the only person to ever come up with such a stupid idea is the guy who gave us the Royal Prostitute and the Necrophiliac Rocket Scientist Society - clearly someone who only comes up with the most brilliant of ideas.

EDIT: I just remembered the chief engineer too... the ditzy, bubble-headed clutz. Right, who else would be the chief engineer? Did I say chief engineer? I meant "only" engineer, which is much worse. More absent minded than River somehow, too. Actually, that's a slight exaggeration, correction: ALMOST as absent minded as River. Is she wearing a children's small pajamas under those simple, dirty, old fashioned overalls? Nice style, douche, the pretty pink, the floral pattern, and the obvious cleanliness of the undergarment almost hide the fact that you're not an engineer at all and simply threw on the already soiled overalls over your undersized kiddy clothes to make it look like you work with your pretty, delicate hands. It's okay, your audience is stupid enough to buy it.


Just b/c I'm cross-eyed, doesn't mean I'm not a brilliant engineer!

No really, I'm tinkering with the engines all day, don't you see the dirt on my green thingy?

How is this acceptable? Step 1: Find girl next door. Step 2: throw soiled overalls over her clothes. Step 3: Call her engineer. The audience will get the picture.

Hey guys, what do you think the engineer of the Reaver ship is like? We just need to know, is it too late for a season 2? How about a spinoff focusing on the crew of a Reaver ship, that'd be even better than Firefly, don't you think?

Why was this even greenlit after the pilot episode was seen? They needed more after the 17th century woman and her douchebag sidekick with the top hat? I seem to remember another guy with a douche hat in this series, I wish I could recall his name. What an awful, random vision.
This is what a douche looks like:

Clearly too alive.

PUNCH ME IN THE FACE FOR THE LOVE OF F***ING GOD.

(Images removed due to hot-linking)
 
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Serial killers fit and function in society. As do mass murderers, some of them have been heads of state getting trains to run on time.

I don't believe your grievances are true. I think this is fake outrage.
 
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