A Prostitute, A Doctor, A Preacher, A Cattle Rancher, And A Psychic Walk Onto A Set....

Are you finished insulting the other posters?

It's tempting.

Apparently I need to be more careful what I ask for.

 

It's just a TV show; he should really just relax.

 

Do you realize just how offensive the stuff you're saying about River is towards mentally ill people? First off just using the R word is already bad, but then this shit you start spouting off in your second post just makes it worse. Just because someone is mentally ill is doesn't mean they aren't intelligent, there have been a lot of mentally ill geniuses. His illness is physical rather than mental, but Stephen Hawking is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. The man is literally sitting in a wheelchair drooling on himself, and he's also pretty much the smartest person alive. So just because somebody appears unwell at first, doesn't mean they couldn't be a genius.

The show and the movie also make it clear that River only ended up in her current state because she was experimented on by the Alliance. She would not have ended up being experimented on if wasn't a genius.

 

Sooo, I'm just curious about one thing. Why do you give this much thought and energy to what other people think about a show that was cancelled... after half a season... 15 years ago?

 

I sure hope so. That would be the lesser of two disturbing scenarios.

 

Hotlink? Google: (n): A hyperlink to a media file (video, audio, Flash, image, etc.) on another site that bypasses any html pages that would identify the site or earn it advertising.

Okay, just good old fashioned links this time, but reposting it b/c w/o the images it looks like a delirious rant instead of funny criticism, not like any of you have a sense of humor or anything:

https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.ne...e_sc078.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070301214442

STICK? WHAT IS STICK???? The "I don't know where I am" eyes and gaping mouth give her genius right away.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/n4Z9Ay8_qqw/maxresdefault.jpg

Director: "You're supposed to be a genius, you know things that you can't possibly know. You have to look the part, so stare at nothing with those vacant eyes and cock your head." Actress: "Uh, like this?" Director: "PERFECT!"

https://dykewriter.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/b3eceffacc09147bba5e67d21b25b128.gif

"If only the writers weren't so dumb, they could give me lines that a genius might actually come up with!" And then we're supposed to believe she could give you your date of birth with one glance. Take that, Sherlock Holmes! B/c the audience is stupid, obviously.

https://www.tvsa.co.za/blogimages/firefly_bookhair.jpg

RANDOM PREACHER ALERT. Sorry, but now you know how I feel whenever he's in a shot. Hello, Whedon, this guy doesn't belong. On topic, doesn't River respond to this guy's hair in the way that a 2 year old might?

Being expected to believe that the girl's intelligence leads as far as supernatural powers when she always has a vacant look in her eyes and a gaping mouth with which she only uses to form sentence fragments is a joke. She can't even get over some mental experiments, randomly holding her head and screaming for no reason all the time. That isn't a sign of a strong mind, it's irrationality. It's the way an abused dog might act after being rescued, too dumb to learn and adapt to its new surroundings. She can't even tell what's a threat and what isn't but is able to just know someone's entire past by looking at their face. No level of intelligence could even account for that, it's just Whedon's idiotic assumption that it could. Of course he would have no logical skills though, he came up with the Reaver and the Queen Prostitute.

I can't believe that there are ppl who even try to argue that Reavers could realistically operate a spaceship. Don't you have any imagination? Seeing them operate a ship together and then getting out to do what they do is clearly ridiculous. Go on believing that it isn't though. Unreal.

http://www.cygnus-x1.net/links/lcars/epics/TNG188.jpg

This is what the Reavers do before landing. It's rocket science. And then they land, get out, and....

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/dc/95/d8/dc95d85a183e0dc31e146e206089be17.jpg

RANDOM PREACHER ALERT. Sorry, I won't do this again, it's just really annoying, I know. Where was I? Oh yeah, the Reavers are exiting the resultant work of decades of rocket science, and:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7a/Fireflyreaver.jpg

RIP THE FLESH. BREAK THE BONES. MAKE LOVE TO THE EYE SOCKETS. MY THIRST FOR BLOOD WAS NOT QUITE QUENCHED ENOUGH UPON TORTURING MY OWN BODY.

Right. Use your imagination, I guess. Try not to short circuit due to overwhelmingly ridiculous nature of the thought experiment. A virus that turns you into Dahmer, okay. Keep arguing that it makes sense for an adult to witness that and become it afterwards, my eyes weren't rolling hard enough while watching the show and listening to that insulting explanation of the clearly braindead Mal. BTW, the cycle of abuse applies to children, usually in the lower range of intelligence, not grown men. Sorry. It would be so much more believable to watch the Reavers eat dinner after their mass rape/murders with the soup spoon on the right and everything:

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f5HZghpK...AIQ/AgBv-M-poDs/s1600/Table-Setting-Royal.jpg

A very Reaver dinner placement.

I like the justifications you guys have though, really smart. Even the defenders can't come to the only logical conclusion that the Reavers themselves couldn't have been operating the ship, but are kept in some kind of holding bay until whoever else is operating the ship lands it. Don't worry, Whedon wouldn't have come up with it either. Honestly, they're just so far beyond ridiculous already though that further explanation of their origins couldn't possibly redeem it. They're just not social beings, they'd never act together for anything. The shark was jumped on conception, gangster rap could have made them do it for all the good the virus explanation does at that point.

http://orig08.deviantart.net/09b6/f/2007/064/8/4/gangsta_zombie_by_daydid.jpg

AIN'T NUTTIN' TO IT, GANGSTA RAP MADE ME DO IT.

And I'm truly just sorry for you if you can buy the whole "prostitutes are the future royalty that captains of spaceships would value high enough to escort them all over the galaxy" thing, there hasn't been a more idiotic notion in any vision of the future. Making the fool's assumption that this could be our future though and this prostitute was such a gem, it certainly doesn't make any sense that she'd hitch a ride with these low class bounty hunters. You obviously don't have the capacity to deduce the simple fact that with as much money and status as you would need for a companion who goes around having sex with hundreds of people, you could easily just as well have the wives of your choice. Yeah, I'm sure highly expensive prostitutes would make a killing in that field though. I'd order one for next october right now if I could, fingers crossed that she doesn't have a disease by then!

No one on the ship even belongs in the same century or world as each other. Pop quiz: which of these characters don't belong?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/digitaltrends-uploads-prod/2014/07/Firefly-Cast.jpg

Trick question, none of them belong.

I see excuses for the preacher even. It makes so much sense that the captain would want him on the ship, doesn't it? I'm sure he's not just there b/c it makes for a clash of personalities for the writers to work with.

There's a time and place for westerns and the time isn't the future and the place isn't space. I don't think you understand what a contradiction is. Western - 1800's, middle of nowhere america. "I have an idea! Let's put those old Montana cowboys IN SPACE WITH SPACE WHORES AND A SPACE PREACHER WHO NONE OF THEM AGREE WITH AND A DOUCHE DOCTOR AND HIS PSYCHIC GENIUS SISTER WHO CAN'T PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER!" Brilliant.

This is funk:

http://img.wennermedia.com/social/rs-1968-square.jpg

This is black metal:

https://cdn1.pri.org/sites/default/...iles/Black_Metal_393061082.jpeg?itok=c2F7MC7E

There is 1 reason that no one of any importance has ever fused these genres and that's b/c it's dumb squared.

This is a western:

http://www.indiewire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/john-wayne.jpg

This is a space adventure:

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-medi...l_progressive,q_80,w_800/18lq7hn0j7tmmjpg.jpg

There is a reason that no one of any importance ever fused these 2 genres before or since Firefly. That's b/c the only person to ever come up with such a stupid idea is the guy who gave us the Royal Prostitute and the Necrophiliac Rocket Scientist Society - clearly someone who only comes up with the most brilliant of ideas.

EDIT: I just remembered the chief engineer too... the ditzy, bubble-headed clutz. Right, who else would be the chief engineer? Did I say chief engineer? I meant "only" engineer, which is much worse. More absent minded than River somehow, too. Actually, that's a slight exaggeration, correction: ALMOST as absent minded as River. Is she wearing a children's small pajamas under those simple, dirty, old fashioned overalls? Nice style, douche, the pretty pink, the floral pattern, and the obvious cleanliness of the undergarment almost hide the fact that you're not an engineer at all and simply threw on the already soiled overalls over your undersized kiddy clothes to make it look like you work with your pretty, delicate hands. It's okay, your audience is stupid enough to buy it.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/ZXt7d85G5IVG/200_s.gif

Just b/c I'm cross-eyed, doesn't mean I'm not a brilliant engineer!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q7xbr6UCpn8/UBFFX0gWw0I/AAAAAAAAAZg/J9wahIFbqDI/s1600/Kaylee+Firefly.jpg

No really, I'm tinkering with the engines all day, don't you see the dirt on my green thingy?

https://godardsletterboxes.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/kayleefrye08.jpg

How is this acceptable? Step 1: Find girl next door. Step 2: throw soiled overalls over her clothes. Step 3: Call her engineer. The audience will get the picture.

Hey guys, what do you think the engineer of the Reaver ship is like? We just need to know, is it too late for a season 2? How about a spinoff focusing on the crew of a Reaver ship, that'd be even better than Firefly, don't you think?

Why was this even greenlit after the pilot episode was seen? They needed more after the 17th century woman and her douchebag sidekick with the top hat? I seem to remember another guy with a douche hat in this series, I wish I could recall his name. What an awful, random vision.
This is what a douche looks like:

http://images4.fanpop.com/image/pho...isode-1-Serenity-firefly-19299641-500-281.jpg

Clearly too alive.

https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.ne...Two-Fry.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101020063414

PUNCH ME IN THE FACE FOR THE LOVE OF F***ING GOD.

EDIT: Copy/pasted to http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?bid=2&tid=61809
Let the hilarity ensue, this should be good.

 

Yes, it was the missing pictures that made it look like a delirious rant. That's the ticket.